37 Funny Dating Stories That Have Left People Amused

"For a cheap date night, I got an origami kit from Walmart. My date and I just sat on my living room floor, drinking and making fun of the awful origami animals we were creating. It was a blast."

"On one of our first dates, my boyfriend took us to an event called Acro-Cats. It’s like a traveling circus for house cats. The cats are pretty well trained but from the beginning, they make it clear that cats will be cats and do whatever the hell they want. It was pure chaos, and several cats were just wandering around the audience. It was so funny and awful but amazing."

"I love the story of my parent's first date. The first time they met my mom spilled a beer on him, and then on their actual first date my dad was having trouble with the car so he got out to jump-start it while my mom was supposed to be turning the key to start the ignition, she somehow manages to put the car and neutral and the car rolls forward and hits my dad right in the shins.

She’s extremely apologetic but he just gets in the car and says 'You are so lucky I really like you because if you were anyone else I would have cussed you out like nothing else'. Married for 29 years."

"I once went on a date with someone who was deaf but wore hearing aids. He had a minor speech impediment. I have very poor hearing in one ear. We were in a fairly lively restaurant and both having a lovely time and a fun conversation until we realized we were both having two completely separate conversations.

We laughed about it and decided to go somewhere quiet for the rest of the evening where we found out we had more chemistry when we didn't understand what the other was saying. This was nearly 10 years ago now, I hope he's well."

"I flirted with a cute bank teller for weeks before working up the nerve to ask her out. Didn't realize she was super religious, invited her to a Mexican restaurant, and ordered two margaritas. When she told me she doesn't drink I said that's ok. These are uhh... these are both for me!"

She told me I wasn't Christian enough for her and I agreed. And there I sat. Drinking two margaritas alone."

"We order a small snack for our coffee and as it's arriving at the table he pulls out his Nokia phone. Trying to make a lighthearted joke, so I said 'Man, that has got to be the oldest phone I've seen in a while'. I really dug it in, trying to break that friendly wall. Well. Turns out it's not a Nokia. It was his insulin pump."

"First date with my now husband. We met up in a city near me that he was unfamiliar with. We grabbed hot dogs at a local place and ended up staying and chatting for a very long time. When we finally left he asked what else there was to do and since it was late at this point I said 'Well, there are bars and stuff... and there’s a statue of a kid banging a turtle.' There was a long pause and he said 'Okay, where is this statue?'

On the drive, I was thinking why did I say this, this is going to be awkward. We got to the statue and just stood in front of it for a while and he said 'Well, I don’t know what I was expecting but yeah, he’s really banging that turtle.' We had our first kiss standing there after we finished laughing our heads off. When we got engaged we went to the places we visited on our first date for our engagement photos and yes, we took a couple in front of the statue."

"I went on a date once with a guy that picked me up and swung me in a full circle upon seeing me. Set me down and patted the top of my head. Told me how excited he was to see how cute and little I was. I walked back to my car and left."

"I went out with this beautiful girl I met in biology class in college. The first date went amazingly well. The second date was a blast. Great goodbye kiss. On the third date, we got on the topic of dealbreakers. As in, what’s the one thing that you cannot abide in someone you might otherwise be attracted to? She asked first. I said something like racism or puppy-kicking. She said she could never date a guy with a hairy back.

I’m Iranian.

The end."

"A guy and I met at uni and we both bonded over liking running etc. We decided to go on a park run together, but I think he expected me to be slower than him or something because when I passed him he was so shocked he tripped. And then at the end when I went to go see him, he saw me and got all sulky and that 'I should have said I was a good runner'. We bonded over running in the first place though, what did he expect? I just found it way too funny that it was fine for me to like running, only when in his head I was slower than him."

"It was a first date. We went to a movie. He arrived twenty minutes and said that since we were short on time, I should grab the tickets while he got the food. He asked me what I wanted and I said a small popcorn and a coke. He took off to grab the food, and came back with an extra large popcorn and one extra large drink (I thought he must have decided we would share?). Once in the movie, he refused to share the popcorn or the drink (with the exception of one single piece of popcorn, which he told me would be enough). After the movie was over, he asked if we could go for a short walk. He barely spoke the entire time, and we walked for several kilometers; the whole time I was asking where the heck we were going, and he said that he was enjoying my company and wanted to keep wandering.

Finally, after over an hour of wandering aimlessly, he proudly announced that we had “reached his stop” - he has led me to a bus stop several kilometers from the theatre. He gave me a really sloppy cheek kiss, before literally hopping on the bus and leaving me there to walk back to my car alone… worst date of my life. He called the next day and left a message asking for a second date. Big nope."

"The guy called me by the wrong name. Twice. A different wrong name each time."

"The guy argued with me over my eye color. Not only are they my eyes, but I have an art degree, I at least know color."

"I didn't know it was a date and bought my little sister to hang out with her too."

"Well it wasn't mine, but my sister. She was dating an EXTREMELY shy guy and she brought him home for the first time. Well, my dumb a*s went to go sit down, but it was a rolly chair so when I leaned on it it moved and I fell right on my a*s. My sister and I couldn't breathe from laughter, but this guy was so shy he couldn't laugh. He was bright red from trying so hard not to laugh which made it even funnier. It was the meeting the family for the first time date and I was stupid so that was pretty good."

"I once ended a decent date with a nice woman with 'See ya later man'. Literally right after kissing her."

"In high school, I thought it'd be romantic to take this girl I liked to get to-go sushi and eat it in the park. I didn't take into account that it would be dark by the time we got to the park. She accidentally ate the whole wasabi ball because it was too dark for her to tell it wasn't sushi."

"I got set up on a blind date. We were texting for a bit before the date but this was before camera phones (I’m so old!), so we weren’t able to swap photos or anything, so I literally went into this date blind. He’d told me he was 6’ 2” so I was expecting a giant given that I’m 5’.

The man that rocked up was shorter than me but he accused me of lying about my height. It was the most surreal conversation I’ve ever had on a date, and we didn’t even see out the rest of the date because he said he couldn’t date a liar. I still chuckle about it now."

"My high school boyfriend took me to the mall to see his other girlfriend's high school band perform. We all went to different high schools, so we didn't know about each other. I was so upset at the time, but looking back, it's a hilarious story. What was he thinking? Who has two girlfriends, and decides to initiate a group hang-out session after her flute performance at the food court?!"

"Brought a girl out for sushi and unknowingly ordered baby octopus. Turns out octopuses are her favorite living thing."