According to Dr. Davies from the Fatherhood Institute, the trick for new dads is to find ways of organizing their lives so they get to do "a good chunk of the hands-on caring" early on. "If that’s tough because of the job you do, maybe there are ways you can tweak your working week to free up more time? If not, and that feels like a problem, maybe you need to think about a different career?" the expert mused.
He advised new dads to get "stuck in" and help out with the childcare. "Don’t hang back like she’s the boss," he said. "Men are biologically primed to look after children, just like women are, and practice makes perfect. If mum seems better at this stuff, it’s almost certainly because she does more of it. The more you do the better you get."
So if you want to get better at changing nappies, bathing your child, putting them to bed, singing to them, and reading bedtime stories, you have to carve out the time to do so. There are no shortcuts. "That’s how you’ll build the bond with your baby, and from that you’ll build a wonderful, lifelong relationship with him/her."
Fatherhood is absolutely a blessing. But there’s no easy way to say this—your life will change. For the better, of course. But there will be plenty of new challenges. Financial, for starters. However, something as simple as getting enough sleep or alone time with your partner might just quickly become your number one priority. That’s why you’ve got to learn to use every moment that your children are asleep or out of the house. Life doesn’t have to stop when you’re a dad; but you’ll have to adapt.
Even though we like to think of our dads as superheroes who can do anything, they’re as human as anyone else. And fatherhood isn’t done in isolation: you have to know how to work as a team.
Coming up with a system where dads share the responsibilities of caring for their kids with their partners by taking turns means everyone can get some much-deserved rest. And once you've made childcare a part of your daily routine, it's way easier on you because it's now a habit.
Dads also have to learn to reach out and ask for help when they’re struggling. Ask your family members, your grandparents, your friends, and coworkers to babysit once in a while so you can recharge if you have to.
Parenting’s a marathon, not a sprint. And, even though we might feel alone and utterly knackered sometimes, it really does take a whole village to raise a child, so we need to learn to be humble and ask for support.
Once you’re recharged and amped up about parenting after some R&R, you can go back to being the best dad that you can be. Playing with Legos? Check. Reading bedtime stories that you’re enjoying as much (if not more) than your kid? Check. Monkeying about on the monkey bars in the playground? Check. Fighting the monster hiding under your kid’s bed? Check!
