The job market is a wild, wild world. On one side, you can see people trying their hardest to look polished and professional, the very best version of themselves, to impress the HR staff. On the other side, you see these misfits who exude chaotic energy and think irony and brutal honesty will get them the job, even at the cost of sounding ridiculous. And guess what? Sometimes that works!
Some people, though, really go all out to make an impression with a funny resume that has hiring managers in stitches. From putting “being sober” as an achievement to having “donating blood” as a hobby, some resume quotes are so outrageous they’re actually good. And that’s exactly what we’re gonna get you in today! We scoured the web to find the funniest CV quotes ever.
Call them resume fails, but these job applications are still a riot. And even if they didn’t get these people the jobs they were looking for, these job resumes certainly got the web’s attention for how stupidly funny they are. Scroll down below to see how these applicants took job-seeking to another level with their sense of humor!
#1
KEY SKILLS – “Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory.”
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Report34points
#2
SKILLS – “Speak English and Spinach.”
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Report25points
#3
EXPERIENCE - “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.”
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Report25points
#4
KEY SKILLS - “Quick learner, good at mats and speling.”
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Report24points
#5
SKILLS – “I have a lot of integrity so I promise not to steal office supplies and take them home.”
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Report23points
#6
REASONS FOR LEAVING MY JOB - "Maturity leave.”
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Report21points
#7
WORK EXPERIENCE - “2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people.”
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Report20points
#8
GAP IN CV – “Any interruption in employment is due to being unemployed.”
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Report19points
#9
ACHIEVEMENTS – “Being sober.”
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Report18points
#10
JOB HISTORY – “Left last four jobs only because the managers were completely unreasonable.”
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Report18points
#11
COVER LETTER – “Dear Sir/Modem.”
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Report18points
#12
ACHIEVEMENTS – “I came first in the school long-distance race.”
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Report16points
#13
HOBBIES – “Horse riding, like going pub when haven't got my kids. Looking after kids and doing stuff with them when they ain't at school.”
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Report16points
#14
EDUCATION – “University: August 1890 to May 1993.”
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Report15points
#15
EXPERIENCE - “My father is a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of computer experience.”
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Report15points
#16
HOBBIES – “Space Travel.”
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Report14points
#17
SKILLS – “I have technical skills that will simply take your breath away.”
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#18
WORK EXPERIENCE – “Night stalker in Tesco.”
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Report14points
#19
CURRENT SALARY – “£28,000. Salary desired: £170,000.”
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Report14points
#20
PERSONAL PROFILE – “I’m a lean, mean, marketing machine.”
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Report14points