#1
#2
Her answer: “Don’t worry, sir, we’ve never left one up there yet!”
#3
A woman after main service hit her call light, I respond and she asked if we had any ear plugs and I said no, we don’t provide that type of amenities on domestic flights
She then said “the people around me are having conversations and I want them to stop, please ask them to stop talking”
I made eye contact with the people sitting behind her and I said that’s not a reasonable request considering it’s a public space and midday. I suggested she put in some earbuds and watch a movie or listen to music. We provide a complimentary pair, which she had already.
She then said she saw one of the crew wearing a Boise cancellation headset at the gate and that she wanted to use them. I said “you’re asking to use someone else’s personal property?” And she said yes, that the crew mem should be willing to give them to her bc she’s a paying passenger
The look on my face must have been something bc the people around us witnessing this exchange started laughing
I said no, that’s an absurd request and I suggested she be better prepared in the future or book redeye flights since there’s typically less talking on those flights and I walked away.
The single most persistent misconception in commercial aviation is that cabin crew are just waitresses with wings. They are not hospitality staff who happened to be near a runway, people! They are trained emergency responders who also happen to bring you a beverage, and the order of those two things matters enormously.
Before a single crew member is allowed to step onto a plane with passengers, they complete six to eight weeks of intensive safety training focused almost entirely on first response, medical emergencies, and evacuating an aircraft in under ninety seconds. The food service component is, in the grand scheme of their training, a footnote.
#4
#5
A row of three boys, probably all between 10-12 years old, took one of our waste bags from their seat back pockets and had the crew “autograph” it. They also clapped and cheered at landing, and kept asking us during service if we drank the airplane coffee.
That wasn’t the “weird” part, per se, it was that after we deplaned, their dad asked us if we could each individually pretend to re-sign the bag while he took a picture.
As the oldest of three boys, I’ll remember these little dudes for the rest of my career, but for some reason it was so strange to see their glee from interacting with us. It was like we were the coolest people roaming the earth, and they wouldn’t stop admiring us and my airline. I guess it just felt strange because it had never ever happened before- like “I’m at Disneyland for the first time ever” level of excitement!
#6
Since we're already talking about things that make cabin crew lose their minds, there is one specific bathroom-related behaviour that comes up consistently, and it is not what you think. It is actually about the door. Alpine Elements reports that cabin crew can't stand it when people don't properly lock the bathroom door when they're inside it, or do not fully close it when they're done.
This might sound small until you understand the chain reaction it sets off. An unlocked door means the occupied sign on the outside doesn't light up. A sign that doesn't light up means other passengers assume it's available. Passengers who assume it's available form a queue.
A queue in an aircraft aisle blocks the crew's workspace at the back of the plane, preventing them from getting in and out of the area where they are trying to do their actual jobs. And as we have established earlier, that is more than just pouring drinks.
#7
#8
#9
Pax: Why the lavatory door locked?
Me: Because someone is in side.
Pax: Then what should I do?
Me: Wait?
A last word of advice: cabin crew are not making suggestions when they ask you to do something. They are not offering a preference or a recommendation. They are exercising legally delegated authority to enforce federal and international aviation regulations inside a pressurised metal tube travelling at 500 miles per hour, and non-compliance is not a grey area.
The captain holds ultimate responsibility for the flight, but cabin crew holds direct authority over the cabin, which means the person you just waved off while finishing your phone call has more power in this specific context than you have perhaps appreciated. A plane is the most logistically complex and potentially dangerous environment a civilian will ever occupy, so you better listen up and stop with the dumb questions.
What is one of the dumbest things you have ever witnessed on a plane? Tell us everything in the comments!
#10
#11
#12
I about fell over laughing but unfortunately, I didn’t do it. Did give her a few complimentary bottles of champagne minis with a note though!
Similarly, on-board staff say "hands off, please," as your unwanted touching is one of their biggest pet peeves. "Do not touch us. Stop touching us. Don't poke me or tap me or wiggle your fingers on my arm. I have a name tag. 'Ma'am' and 'excuse me' also work really well," one flight attendant told Travel & Leisure.
Another added that people who ask for water as soon as their behind touches the chair really grinds their gears. "Why didn't you take the pill while waiting in the gate area? There are ample water fountains and bottled water for sale in the airport," they noted.
Get it together, people!
#13
#14
Me: ATC just informed the weather condition is not ideal for us to depart now (I'm based in hkg - during typhoon season, the strong wind can ground operation)
Pax: so what do we do?
Me: wait for ATC clearance
Pax: can they do something about the weather?
Me: you want ATC to call God or something about the weather?
#15
A last word of advice: cabin crew are not making suggestions when they ask you to do something. They are not offering a preference or a recommendation. They are exercising legally delegated authority to enforce federal and international aviation regulations inside a pressurised metal tube travelling at 500 miles per hour, and non-compliance is not a grey area.
The captain holds ultimate responsibility for the flight, but cabin crew holds direct authority over the cabin, which means the person you just waved off while finishing your phone call has more power in this specific context than you have perhaps appreciated. A plane is the most logistically complex and potentially dangerous environment a civilian will ever occupy, so you better listen up and stop with the dumb questions.
What is one of the dumbest things you have ever witnessed on a plane? Tell us everything in the comments!
#16
#17
#18
Pax: When should I reset my watch for the next time zone?
FA: Look out the window and watch for a dotted gray line. Reset your watch when we fly across it.
Took a while for Pax to realize they’d been had.
#19
“Basically… fish eggs.”
“I’ll have two - scrambled pls”
🍳 🐠 🥴
#20
