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We can’t be super-serious 24/7. Especially when it comes to relationships. After all, you need passion and lightheartedness from time to time, not just a stern demeanor.
Most of us know that laughter is good for your health, but it’s also great for your relationship. Humor can defuse tense and awkward situations, creates a lively back-and-forth debate with your partner, and changes your perspective about life.
Bored Panda spoke to relationship expert Dan Bacon, founder of The Modern Man website, about how important humor, laughter, as well as playfulness all are in new and long-term relationships.
"The reality is that a couple can begin a relationship without humor being used, but the relationship will eventually feel a little boring and one-dimensional if the interactions are always rational, serious and straightforward. So, although humor can be avoided, it's much better to use it initially and then continue using it when in a relationship or marriage," Bacon of The Modern Man explained.
"For example: When a man and woman first meet, being able to really laugh together and not be so serious all the time when talking or hanging out, signals that relationship could be quite fun and enjoyable in the long run. It opens up the possibility that a relationship between them could be one where they can both relax, be themselves and just enjoy life together, rather than being so serious and uptight."
"That is appealing to most men and women," pointed out Bacon.
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Bacon continued: "Then, when years into a relationship together, humor helps to keep the spark alive because it helps you feel happy, relax and enjoy life when around each other. The feeling you get when you really laugh together, sometimes even hysterically, releases all sorts of positive, natural chemicals in your brain, which then makes the other person seem more attractive and lovable."
"Of course, humor isn’t the only ingredient to keeping the spark alive in a relationship, but it’s definitely part of what does it."
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Bored Panda was also interested to know what boyfriends and husbands should do if they either don't have enough energy to maintain playfulness in relationships or believe that the relationships have gone stale. "The irony is that avoiding humor and enjoyable interactions in a relationship actually drains more energy from you and ends up making you feel miserable," Bacon of The Modern Man said.
"When a man tries to avoid humor and fun interactions with his girlfriend or wife, he ends up spending a lot of time feeling frustrated, lonely, unloved, annoyed and unsatisfied with his relationship. Those type of negative emotions are draining, whereas the positive emotions that come with getting into the habit of being a little bit playful at times in your relationship are refreshing."
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According to Bacon, boyfriends and husbands see that being playful in their relationships makes them feel happier, makes their girlfriends or wives feel happier, and leads to more intimacy in a more enjoyable way. "He can either continue along that path and make being a bit playful at times become natural for him, or choose to stop and go back to the spark dying out and both of them heading towards a potential break up."
"To make keep things heading in the right direction, it essentially comes down to developing a new habit, which can be a challenge for some people initially. Yet, once a new habit becomes natural and automatic for you, it doesn’t require loads of energy and focus to do it. Instead, you just do it naturally and enjoy the benefits that come with it."
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Psychology Today explains that humor should never be used as a weapon in a relationship. In fact, one study showed that certain types of humor are healthy for relationships, while others are detrimental.
Humor’s great, but it shouldn’t be treated just as a means to an end: after all, laughing is valuable in and of itself. It’s all about having fun with your partner, not calculating what you have to do to maintain optimal happiness levels without down-trending fluctuations.
Approaching life with a smile on your lips and a childish glint in your eyes readies you for whatever difficulties reality will throw at you. If you can see the positive and humorous side of situations that are downright terrifying and soul-crushing, you’ve basically just won at life.
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