What you (think you) know about dating, successful relationships, and ‘perfect’ partners might just be wrong.
Based on the findings of a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, your own judgment of your relationship reveals more about its quality and success than your or your significant other’s personality.
In a nutshell, how appreciative you are of your partner, and how satisfied you feel your partner is with you, are more important than who you both are as individuals.
The vital things are the effort you both put in, your commitment, appreciation, satisfaction with your intimate life, perceived satisfaction, and how you handle conflict.
So, instead of obsessing over whether your significant other checks all or most of your boxes, you should focus on engaging with them.
“When it comes to a satisfying relationship, the partnership you build is more important than the partner you pick,” the study’s lead author and an assistant professor at Western University in London, Ontario, Samantha Joel, told CNN.
“It seems to me that the relationship is more than the sum of its parts. It’s that relationship dynamic itself, rather than the individuals who make up the relationship, that seems to be most important for relationship quality.”
Many people try to come across as better than they really are on first dates. It’s natural. Most of us want to leave a positive first impression on the strangers we meet.
And yet, this means that you might not get to grips with someone’s real character, quirks, and flaws until much later into dating them, because they’re actively trying to hide them.
Luckily, some people are so awful at leaving good first impressions that you can instantly recognize their red flags and problematic behavior patterns.
Though this leads to awkward and embarrassing encounters, this is actually a good thing. Why? Because you instantly realize these individuals are worth avoiding. And so, you won’t waste any more of your precious time dating them.
The Guardian notes that some of the worst things people can do to leave a bad impression on a first date include things like arriving late, canceling the date on short notice, or even not bothering to turn up with no warning.
Other things that might push your potential partner away are things like looking wildly different from your dating profile photo, complaining a lot, and whining about being exhausted.
