An uneventful flight is usually a good one. All smooth sailing and aplomb. However, although you might be happy to get bored when things are going well during your journey, sometimes you yearn for something more. Something that would make you laugh and spice up the dull voyage. The pilots and crew know this, and sometimes, when the stars align, you get to hear funny airline announcements, which, at the very least, will make you snicker. We’ve gathered some of these funny airline pilot announcements for our list, and now you’ll be the judge of which ones of them are the funniest!
As far as funny announcements during a flight go, they can be literally about anything. Think about an amped-up flight attendant safety dance, a notion on the quality of refreshments, or an absurd prediction for the smoothness of an upcoming landing. So, although a pilot jokes about Godzilla meeting you at the airport, you know it (sadly? luckily?) won’t be true, hence the absurd. You know, once the crew begins with these jokes, it seems the funny announcements to make will never run out for them. But, as we said before - if all the stars align.
Another thing to do with these airline jokes is to learn some of them - that way, you’ll have loads of funny things to say to your compadres if you’re ever stuck on the most boring flight of your life. Although, boring flights are what we wish for you! Anyway, check out the submissions, give your votes to the most amusing ones, and share this article with your friends!
#1
“Hi, I’m Captain Amanda Smith. Yes, I’m a female pilot and as a benefit, if we get lost on the way I won’t be afraid to stop and ask for directions.”
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#2
“Please remain seated until the plane is parked at the gate. At no time in history has a passenger beaten a plane to the gate. So please don’t even try.”
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#3
Pilot as the cabin lights are dimmed: “The lights are dim and you all are getting sleepy, very, very sleepy. You don’t need any assistance from your cabin crew. Sleep now. Zzzzzz.”
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#4
“I’ve just been informed that my mother-in-law has just passed security and will be shortly boarding this flight using one of my crew passes. If you all sit down fast, we should be able to get out of here before she arrives.”
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#5
"In case of an emergency landing, air masks will drop from the overhead compartments. Place the mask over your nose and mouth and adjust the straps on either side to secure it. If you are traveling with a small child, secure your mask first then assist them with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one child, decide which one has the most potential and assist that one first."
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454points
#6
“Please make sure you take all your belonging with you. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please don’t leave children or spouses.”
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#7
After a heavy landing the pilot announced, “As you may already know, we have hit our destination.”
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#8
"Now ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to share some words with you all that my father shared with me on my eighteenth birthday: Pack your bags and get out."
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#9
After a plane taxied for a long time: “If you look to your right that was the terminal we left an hour ago. I hope you enjoyed your tour of the airport. We should be leaving shortly.”
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#10
“That was a rough one. Since you all survived we expect you to keep all those promises you just made.”
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#11
As the plane is taxiing to the gate the pilot announces, “We are currently recruiting people to clean the aircraft. If you wish to volunteer then please stand before we have come to a stop.”
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#13
“For those of you wondering about the weather at our destination, Honolulu is reporting sunny skies and temperatures of 86 degrees. Unfortunately, our destination is Nome Alaska which is reporting 27 degrees below zero and blowing snow.”
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#14
"Pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, I have a special announcement to make. Ben, my co-pilot, has just gone to use the in-flight potty for the first time in his flying career. When he comes out, please give him a round of applause!""
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367points
#15
“We’ll be landing as soon as we get closer to the ground.”
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#16
"Welcome to Orlando. The safest part of your journey is now over."
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352points
#17
“When exiting the plane please watch out for the low overhead door. If you forget, please watch your language.”
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#18
"Most of you already have your seatbelt fastened. Now we will demonstrate how you did that."
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321points
#19
“Please refrain from smoking until you reach a designated smoking area, which, for California, is Las Vegas.”
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#20
“As we taxi out we’d like those passengers sat on the right side of the aircraft to press their faces against the window. We’d like to remind those other airlines what a full plane looks like.”
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