Shari Botwin, LCSW, trauma expert and author of Thriving After Trauma and Stolen Childhoods: Thriving After Abuse, believes that many people find adulthood to be hard because it feels like an overload of responsibility.
"Between managing finances, relationships, fear of failure, and for some a lack of support, adults find themselves feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about their present and future," she said to Bored Panda.
Even scientific research considers the ages between 18 and 29 to be amongst the most difficult years. Developmental psychologists call this phase emerging adulthood, as it’s full of mental and emotional challenges. Because of this, it was found that adults in these years have the highest rates of depression and anxiety.
Botwin suggests that societal pressure to have it all figured out could also be contributing to adults’ stress levels. “The fear of rejection and pressure to conform often leave adults feeling insecure and stressed out. Many of my clients have expressed feeling like no matter what they do, it is never good enough,” she shared.
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“Societal pressures lead to unrealistic expectations about finances, appearance, and relationships. For example, some adults have talked in therapy with me about feeling like they have let others down if they are not in a traditional family or making a certain amount of money. These unmet societal expectations often lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions,” she further explained.
Over time, it gets harder and harder for those who want to conform to societal expectations to do so, as it gets increasingly more difficult for young adults to find a decent job, a partner, and buy a home. These growing challenges, combined with still-developing brains in the early 20s, often create suitable circumstances for mental health issues to present themselves in the phase of emerging adulthood.
Botwin believes that what can help people to better transition into adulthood is setting realistic education, career, and relationship goals for them. “This allows adults to move through the transition with less anxiety and stress. Prioritizing mental health and continuing to develop a network of adults who can guide and offer support also supports adults as they transition into a new phase of life.”
