#1
I brought kiddo #1 (just turned 5) to the hospital for the first time to meet his new bro, he takes one look at the sleeping baby and says "He's so cute"
Then, he turns to my wife, looks her in the eye and says with genuine concern "How's your v****a?"
The nurses lost it.
Edit: A lot of people seem to think a 5 year old boy wouldn't know what a v****a is or where babies come from...this is kind of sad.
Educate your kids, people.
#2
The mom had to remind her to tell the rest of the story, that daddy had taken another plane to a different city for work, but would be meeting up with them in a few days on their family vacation.
#3
I spent the rest of the day thinking about how much more interesting of a job that would be.
To learn more about the hysterical things kids say without even trying to be funny, we got in touch with Lisa Hides. Lisa is a Canadian healthcare professional, mom, and writer. She has a newsletter titled Kind Of Funny For A Mom, where she sends out a weekly dose of humor, and lucky for us, she was kind enough to discuss this topic with Bored Panda.
First, we wanted to know if Lisa's kids have ever said something that deserves a spot on this list. "One hilarious moment that comes to mind is from back when my son was around ten," she shared. "He was obsessed with Wordle and discovered a website where you could create your own custom Wordle. So, he made me one to solve. Well, the word was ERECT and after I completed it, he kept repeating: 'Wasn’t that a HARD ONE?'"
"I sprayed my coffee," Lisa admitted. "What made this so much funnier was the innocence of the situation. My son had no idea what any of it meant or why I was laughing. That, and having a mother who peaked in middle school."
#4
My kid cried for days because he thought his great grandfather fought for the galactic empire.
#5
My aunt wet herself laughing.
#6
It was a coca cola you little narc.
So what makes kids so effortlessly funny? "They lack the same filters and fears that we have as adults," Lisa noted. "Their humor is uncorrupted and raw. They can reach places without the same constraints we lame adults have. In my experience, Human Resources Departments are not known for their humor."
#7
I proceed to start mixing up the salad with the tongs.
My 4-year old daughter sits up and stares into the bowl and then looks up at me and asks, "What are you looking for?".
#8
We are teaching her manners so when she wants something she needs to follow the formula, "(thing I want) please!"
We're teaching her to tell us when she wants to go to the beach, but it's sounding more like b***h. We're trying to correct her but it's not getting through.
She gets frustrated with us, and goes up to my mother in law who asks her if she wants a treat of some sort and she just says, "B***h, please.".
#9
'Thats a cemetery'
'Whats a cemetery?'
'Thats where they bury dead bodies'
'Oh'
*(A few minutes pass)*
'Dad?'
'Yeah?'
'Where do they bury the heads?'.
But just because you're not a kid anymore doesn't mean you can't prioritize humor in your life. "Social psychology research teaches us that laughing makes us feel happier. It reduces feelings of stress and anxiety and boosts self-esteem," Lisa shared.
"In my house, we're always laughing. I find myself flagging to my kids not to repeat some of the things we laugh about at home in case they offend, and why someone might be offended," she continued. "We're straddling a tough line here: building empathy while also nurturing a solid sense of humor. But it's worth it, because laughter truly is the best medicine."
#10
Mr. S is a vegan.
#11
That's the sweetest thing she's ever said to me, so I gushed like a teenage girl and thanked her with a big grin on my face.
Then she elaborated: "You look like you're dead".
#12
"I can't tell you how many times I've snapped my daughter out of an epic tantrum by laughing," Lisa added. "It interrupts her dysregulated brain, and after confirming I'm not having some kind of neurological episode, like the social contagion it is, she bursts out laughing too. It just feels so much better than anger. Don't believe me? Try it, and report back!"
And if you'd like to hear more funny stories from Lisa, be sure to check out Kind Of Funny For A Mom or follow her on Instagram, X or Facebook!
#13
I am a 250 pound bearded man. I am decidedly not Melissa.
#14
Sorry it's hard to get it across in English but it was hilarious :D.
#15
Wtf? Why would we do that we ask.
She responds, "Why else would you need a Skylar ship?".
#16
#17
Got to hand it the kiddo, he made a valid point.
#18
He looked me straight in the eye and said "Dad, you just need to believe in yourself".
#19
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