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40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
Funny,CuriositiesDEC 14, 2022

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread

Saulė Tolstych
Darja Zinina
Saulė Tolstych and Darja Zinina
194
20
Love it or loathe it, it’s not a secret that parenting can be a handful.
Whether you dreamed of having a big family since you were a kid or you unconsciously caved into the antiquated belief that having children means you’ve succeeded in life – you’ve likely experienced regret at least a couple of times.
To learn more about the troubling thoughts that some parents get, Bored Panda reached out to a parenting coach. “I think most parents have moments where they think - did I really sign up for this? And it can be made worse by the pressure we feel from social media - the ‘perfect family’ pictures,” Laura said when we pondered whether feeling this low was normal.
We then questioned our expert on what someone should do if they are having such thoughts, and the woman responded as follows: “First things first - a reality check. Pause and remember that everyone is doing the best that they can - us, our kids, and other people. Don’t suffer alone. Find someone to talk to if you are struggling with parenting guilt/regrets. Get honest with your friends about your parenting struggles, and you will find that they’ll open up to you about theirs.”
In short, raising a kid is bound to be challenging. However, there are plenty, if not more, things that make being a parent awesome. Their imagination, intelligence – I mean, you’ve literally got a friend for life. Plus, let’s not forget all the funny things they say! Laura, for instance, advises all parents to write things down: “We always think we’ll remember what our kids say that is funny, but we don’t. So keep a record of their funny/cute sayings somewhere, as part of a memory box to treasure.”
Now, onto the article!
“What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you?” – this web user turned to one of Reddit’s most informative and thought-provoking communities, asking its members to reveal the funniest things their offspring have ever said to them. The thread managed to garner over 5K upvotes as well as 2.8K comments containing some hilarious tales.

#1

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
My mum loves to tell people that as a toddler I very seriously told off a man for trying to cross a road without holding his mummy's hand. He was definitely an adult, and did not know the elderly woman standing next to him but they dutifully held hands and crossed the road together. I told him he was a good boy.
ValuableMine9, Victor Seys
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424points

#2

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
We were on a tour of China a few years ago, and the group was taking the bullet train from Beijing to Shanghai. The tickets for our group had us all sitting on one side of the carriage, and the other side was all Chinese locals. It was the middle of summer and everyone was wearing shorts.
Halfway through the five hour trip a young Chinese girl, about three years old, starts walking up and down the aisle tapping everyone’s bare legs as she walks past. She’s got the attention of the whole carriage by now.
The Chinese people on one side all have smooth legs. But when she gets to one of the guys in our group, a Mediterranean type with thick black hair on his legs, she stops in her tracks. Pokes it. A couple of times. Then says something in Chinese and half the carriage roars with laughter.
One of the locals announced “She said Panda” and the other half of the carriage lost it too.
taxdude1966, Lord Lucan Lives
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349points

#3

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
Late to the party but anyway. A few weeks ago my three year old son was cuddling in his mother's arms and sweet talking to her. Here it goes
him : "mom I'm the little baby mouse and you're the mama mouse"
her : "oh honey that's sweet, thanks"
him : "...and daddy is the daddy mouse"
her : "oh ok sweet"
him : ...
her : ...
him : ...
her : "and your little sister ?"
him : "MY SISTER IS A RAT !"
oui_mais_non, Nick S
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285points

#4

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
Saw a cute little boy, probably 3 or 4, smiling at me while in line at a grocery store checkout. I smiled back, he said 'Hi,' so I said 'Hi,' back.
His mom was smiling, and I said, 'What a handsome little man.'
He said, 'If you come to my house I have chocolate money.'
Best offer I've ever had.
MopsyMom, Karolina Grabowska
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270points

#5

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
I was sitting on a rock looking kinda haggard because I was overheating in a satyr costume at a ren faire. A passing child looked me up and down and went, "It'll be okay, goat."
Swanbrother, Eden, Janine and Jim
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263points

#6

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
I was helping 5yo with a computer game. He said
"Dad you're like a black hole at this"
[long pause]
"You suck so much"
WulfRanulfson, Sage Ross
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250points

#7

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
This was me as a kid but I told my grandmother that I was an octopus and wished I could wrap my testicles around her. I missed her so much and wanted a hug. I’m also a female
theWildBore, Neil Turner
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246points

#8

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
I asked my 11 year old son why his room was always so messy and can he keep it clean? He sighs, puts his hands on my shoulders and says 'Mum, I'm not that type of person.' and closes the door. I burst out laughing in the hallway, I was not expecting that response.
JAutumn78, ElCapitanBSC
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228points

#9

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
5 Year Old: “Today is my lucky day!”
Me: “Oh yeah?”
5YO: “Yup. My lucky day.”
Me: “So, what happened today?”
5YO:
Me:
5YO: “Well I don’t think that’s any of your business”
Arbenyn, Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas
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220points

#10

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
I let my niece out of her car seat and said, “You’re free!” She responded, “No, I’m free and a half!” She was 3 1/2 years old
akchemy, Allan Mas
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212points

#11

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
Shortest story - asked a 4 year old how he wanted his eggs. He replied "Good". Touché.
Crosswired2, rob_rob2001
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201points

#12

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
During a lesson as a swim teacher
Kid: So do you live here?
Me: What do you mean?
Kid: Once the lesson is over, do you like live in this pool?
PurpleFunk36, Sandra Cohen-Rose and Colin Rose
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199points

#13

My son was complaining of being hot so I was changing him into a t-shirt. He was still hot and crying about something else, I couldn’t understand what he wanted. Finally he screamed “You know, T-PANTS!!!” He meant shorts, he wanted shorts.
Framerchick2002
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191points

#14

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
Half said, half action. Was taking her to nursery in the middle of winter. She had those mittens that connected to her coat with string,but wasn't wearing them and was complaining that her hands were cold.
Me - if your hands are cold, why don't you put your mittens on then sweetheart?
Her - I can't daddy, my mittens are full of oats.
*she then up-ends her gloves and porridge oats pour out of her mittens making two little mounds on the floor*
sockhead99, Aine
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183points

#15

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
I was standing at a chain link fence watching an excavator tear down an old school. A boy about seven years old came to join me and we watched together for a while. Then he turned to me and said, "This is the happiest day of my life." I guess for a boy, seeing an excavator and it was tearing down a school... well, it just doesn't get any better than that.
Intagvalley, Ralf Peter Reimann
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182points

#16

I was breastfeeding my son while babysitting my 3yo nephew. Thos is how the conversation went:
N: what's that?
M: it's my boob, the baby's milk comes from there
N: oh..
N:...that's a nice boob.
He then patted my boob and went to play with his toys.
GreenieBeeNZ
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175points

#17

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
"I'm not supposed to tell, but the doctor said to my dad he's fat." - 5 year old cousin.
whatsupitty, Pixabay
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166points

#18

I'm a fat kid 187.3 pound's to be correct at the age of 16 and when I was going to school this new little kid comes in the bus see me (mind that i always sit in tha last row) approaches me and says can I sit next to you and I like "sure, no problem" so he sits beside me then leans on my tummy and now I WTF is he doing?????? then I tell him that it makes me feel uncomfortable and he looks me dead in the eyes and say's "oh i thought that was a pillow my father has the same pillow and he let's sleep on it and my mother also". I nearly died of laughing.
GMHOTS12345
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163points

#19

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
In France 7-years-old is considered the "age of reason". Apparently my daughter had this on her mind a lot leading up to her birthday. When she woke up on her 7th birthday, she told me, "I think the age of reason starts at 8 years old".
close_my_eyes, Travis Wise
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156points

#20

40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread
I baked muffins for my five year old and he said “Well, they taste okay.. but I’m thinking the people at the stores do a better job”
I just LOVE how brutally honest children are, and not in a passive-aggressive way like adults tend to do, just straight up honesty.
He gave me a hug afterwards and asked if we could play outside. I love kids, they’re great—most of the time xD
UnsavouryPie, lisaclarke
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149points
194
20