50 Times Kids Had Brainfart Moments That Were Too Funny Not To Share

(Talking s**t is our love language, no feelings were hurt)
Not to me, but my daughters were bickering and my youngest says "at least I wasn't an accident!" and her sister didn't miss a beat and shot back "no, you were a mistake". I laughed so damn hard.

When I was a kid I was watching my dog doing dog things and I said to my mom, “I wish I was a dog.”

“Why is that, sweetie?”

“So I could see what my nuts taste like.”.

Once when i was a kid, i asked my grandma if she remembers how dinosaurs looked like 💀.

I worked at a summer camp where, on a cold and blustery day, a boy at the swim pond loudly and repeatedly cried, “I’VE LOST MY TWO BEST FRIENDS!”

We evacuated the swim pond and started the process for an all-hands pond search. It was at this point that one of the lifeguards noticed the kid’s hands frantically cupping his swim shorts: this was his first time experiencing shrinkage.

My godson asked me to tell a "mad story". I said I bought a different brand of yogurt and I couldn't get the cover off, and that made me mad. He asked "Could you get help from an adult?".

I used to give my kid a five dollar bill to tip the pizza guys. He loved it, it made him feel like a big kid. Once, when he was about four, I gave him a fiver and he leaned in real close and said "if you give me fifty bucks, I'll k*ll Superman".

My niece asked me if she can have a piece of skin from the cadavers I work with so she can give it to her boyfriend for Valentine’s Day this year.

They’re 8.

Not to me, but friend's daughter to him, her dad: "Daddy? Does mommy know you're my daddy?"

I worked at a movie theatre that recently was getting s**t on because of new people in the company making poor decisions. I had been planning to leave for a while, and on one of the rougher days, I was helping a mom and her two kids. The youngest daughter, I'd say was maybe 7-9, was waiting for her mom to finish ordering food, and then asked me, "do you hate your job?"

I almost broke laughing right in front of them, and I had to reassure to the mom that it wasn't exactly an out of place question. I hope that kid goes places.

I was walking into a store and there was a little boy around 7 standing just inside the door and when he saw me he turned to me and said with heartfelt anguish “She said she was only going to be 5 minutes!”.

My niece asked me why didn't I let my hair grow on the central side of my scalp ^^

She doesn't know about hair loss yet.

My older cousin was obsessed with Shrek. He got a toy microphone for Christmas one year, and was playing with it in the basement while the adults went upstairs for coffee, and all of a sudden they hear him singing Baby Got Back, which donkey sings at the end of Shrek. But my cousin, who couldn't have been more than 4 at the time, didn't know the words, so what he actually sang was "I like big butts and I cannot lie, and I like it with pumpkin pie.".

Our first grader daughter told us that she broke up with her crush.
She said," I dont have a crush on him anymore, he is so annoying. I want somebody who is serious,smart and who actually listens and makes a good team."

We asked her the details and told us, she was partnered with her crush during their class activity and they only got 1 point,because this particular boy was just so silly and not good in listening.

A kid has told me once "sir do you know that my dad eats my mom every night" his mom smacked his back and left without looking at me 😂.

A kid once told my mother’s coworker (a 60year old kindergarten teacher) “madame, even though you’re old and ugly I still love you”.

When I went to wake my son up to get ready for school, the very first thing he said to me was daddy my butt has a crack in it.

"Why do I have to listen to you, pointy neck?"-from a student at a program for developmentally delayed children. My ego and Adam's apple were never the same.

An adorable, four-year-old Trick Or Treater rang my doorbell. She looked like Cindy Lou Who from How The Grinch Stole Christmas. As I was giving her a candy bar, she looked me squarely in the eye and said, 'My parents are getting back together again. I don't know what happened to my Dad's girlfriend. My mother hated her.'

I used to run a small tire shop in the middle of nowhere. We had this one pretty rough customer who would come in always looking for a handout (something on credit). Well she comes in one day with another sob story, and talking about how she knows my father (he owned the place, I just managed it), and how we should give her a tire today and let her pay for it later.

At this point, her son in the car, who can’t be any older than about 7 or 8, leans out the window and yells ‘You ain’t got credit nowhere, momma! That’s what the last guy said!’

Im doing my best to hold it together at this point, and I’m doing a much better job than my brother, who I can hear in the office behind me laughing his a*s off. I don’t know who this last guy was, but he was clearly wise beyond his years.

I worked as a nurse in a pre school. I was sitting on a bench and a 5 year old boy comes up to me and says "well, what’s this pretty little angels name".