Marriage is one hell of a crazy ride, made to stand the test of a lifetime. The paradox is that, sadly, it’s notorious for failing it. So no wonder so many people are looking for ways to strengthen their marriage and build a solid ground for it to stand on. But how do we do it? Well, there's no single answer. But to find out what an expert has to say on this matter, and you'd better get your notes ready, we reached out to Francis Merson, a clinical psychologist and founder of the Paris Psychology Centre.
“People often get married while they’re high on the drug of being in love – that heady cocktail of hormones and obsession where your partner seems like the most wonderful thing in the world,” Merson explained. It turns out there’s even a psychological term for this, which is ‘limerence.’
“The research is clear that this is a temporary phenomenon. Limerence wears off, sexual chemistry cools, and sometimes, tragically, not much might be left to fuel a relationship,” Merson said and added that “That’s why the friendship aspect of a marriage is crucial.”
In order for a marriage to last and stand strong in challenging times, it has to be built on a strong friendship. “A friend is someone whose company you enjoy, whose values you share, and who you can count on in difficult times. If your partner doesn’t meet these criteria, then the relationship is unlikely to be a very happy one in the long term,” Merson said.
The psychologist also explained that the biggest mistake people make in relationships is getting into the wrong ones. “So it’s important to ask yourself when entering a relationship: is this someone I would want to be lifelong friends with? Or is this just someone I find very attractive?”
