People are not always as great and amazing as they might seem at first. At one point or another, we are bound to see the person's true colors and intent. More often than not, it's not that bad, and we learn to live with our differences. However, this online thread is not dedicated to those types of stories.
After this Redditor asked, "What's the fastest you've ever gone from caring about someone to straight up loathing them?" people swarmed to share their experiences, which range from sad to absolutely bonkers. So if you're missing some drama in your life, this is the article for you. And if you have your own stories to share, please do so in the comment section below.
#1
Had a male bestie for more than 10 years... One night I was upset and crying cause I witnessed my friends die at the beach a few weeks earlier. He stays over to comfort me and suggests he sleep over so I wouldn't be alone.
He promised he wouldn't do anything. I believed him. So he held me while I cried myself to sleep. I wake up to him fingring me... Without my consent obviously
I lost my mind. And told him off and kicked him out my house... He came nack a few days later to apologise but I was so disgusted with him I told him to f**k off and never talk to me again. I blocked him... I felt so disgusted and betrayed...
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290points
#2
The first girl I ever dated died unexpectedly on my then current gf and my's 3 year anniversary. My then gf stated she was pissed because my ex had "Died on purpose that day because it was our anniversary". I was utterly disgusted and it completely changed how I viewed her all together. Things fell apart shortly after and we broke up
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241points
We asked Dr. Claudia Brumbaugh some questions about this topic, and she shared some amazing insights. We asked her if she thinks cutting people out of your life is a good thing: "When people are a negative influence on your life it might make sense for your own well-being to cut people out. For instance, Eisenkraft & Elfenbein (2010) identified 'negative affective presence' in some people. They found that certain other people accounted for 23% of the variance of one's own negative emotions.
And one's own trait affect accounted for 19% of the variance in one's own negative emotions, which means that others are just as responsible for your negative emotions as you are. This shows some people have a negative presence that affects one's own emotions in a negative way. If you keep these people in your life, they will have an ongoing negative impact on your emotional state."
#3
friend at a bar tells some people we just met how her mother died, later in the night i express my sympathy -- now she's without parents. she'd told me hush-hush a few years prior about how father had passed.
"wait did i tell you back then my dad died? i thought i told you it was my mum! no, both my parents are still alive; when we were in uni **i just read in a book telling people a parent has died is an good way to get sympathy, ha ha!**"
f*****g sociopath
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235points
#4
I kinda like you.
"Your autism is probably caused by vaccines"
Okay, I kinda liked you ten seconds ago.
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234points
We also wondered why people pretend to be someone else in the first place: "Because everyone basically knows what is attractive. For hetero women that is easier to know since men have more consensus in what they are looking for in a female partner (e.g., femininity, curvaceousness, seductive qualities). Women are much more variable in what they are looking for.
Also, stereotypes are partially true. Evolutionary theory provides explanations and cross-cultural data showing that men care more about beauty and youth, and women care more about status and earning power. To 'pretend,' women could do something like wear makeup to look more flawless/youthful, and men could pretend by renting a luxury car for a day.
And finally, narcissists are charming and attractive on first impression. They're not really 'pretending' though, that's just how they come off at first. Later, upon getting to know them better, their arrogance and manipulative nature often damage the relationship beyond repair."
#5
One summer back in high school years, I had a crush on this girl and we'd hang out when we weren't working together. A friend of mine would keep insisting that I should just ask her out. So I mustered my courage and asked her out. Yeah - it was a glorious fail. I still remember when she smiled and told me the truth.
That was when I found out that they had been secretly dating for a year and thought it would be a "lark" to just f**k with me.
100 to 0 in a few words and a vicious smile.
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229points
#6
When the guy I'd been *really* into got a little tipsy and confessed to me he'd had an affair with a married woman. Ok, he was young and it's not that uncommon when we're immature, overly emotional and idealistic and selfish.
It had been off and on for 20 years.
And possibly produced 2 children.
Who they just let her husband raise no matter whose they were because Guy I'd Been Seeing "just wouldn't be a good father".
I have never, before or since, experienced such a moment of instant shock, disgust, and loathing. I was just like "Hey, thanks for telling me you're trash early on. Saved me a lot of time", left him at the restaurant and took a Lyft home.
He called me for 2 days wanting to "explain".
There would be a possible explanation for a short fling when young and dumb. There is nothing that explains THAT.
Edit, since no one can do math. The affair started when this man was in his 20s. He and I were both in our 40s when we briefly dated. Some people on Reddit are above the age of 20.
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216points
Doctor Claudia Brumbaugh shared if there are any telltale signs to show someone's faking: "There are many ways to be 'fake,' so that's a tough question. People are pretty good at reading others' personalities though, even within a couple of minutes. Evolutionary theorists say we have a 'cheater detection mechanism.'"
#7
Uh, I have a two-for-one deal here:
Walking in on my now ex-boyfriend having sex with my ex-best friend in my own room on my birthday party.
Walking in on my now ex-boyfriend having sex with my ex-best friend in my own room on my birthday party.
Edit:
Since that's a lot of comments to reply to individually (I'm very sorry) , here are some FAQs answered:
It was my 19th birthday.
I did throw the bed out afterwards just because it reminded me of it daily.
When I walked in, I was shocked, told him that it's over, kicked both of them out into 2°C weather while they were still half-naked, and then did tequila shots with my other, non-a*****e friends.
I don't know what happened to them but I really don't care.
It took some time to trust people again but I'm much better now
Since that's a lot of comments to reply to individually (I'm very sorry) , here are some FAQs answered:
It was my 19th birthday.
I did throw the bed out afterwards just because it reminded me of it daily.
When I walked in, I was shocked, told him that it's over, kicked both of them out into 2°C weather while they were still half-naked, and then did tequila shots with my other, non-a*****e friends.
I don't know what happened to them but I really don't care.
It took some time to trust people again but I'm much better now
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212points
#8
2 minutes, he pranked me by making me think he was gonna kill himself, then he got a friend to text me that he did and that I was my fault for not responding sooner. When I was having a full on panic attack and almost killing myself out of guilt he told me it was a prank and the two friends asked me if I wanted to have a threesome. (I have depression, suicidal thoughts and yes he knew that.)
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204points
And lastly, we wondered if it's easy to go from loving someone to absolutely hating them: "True love/attachment would be unlikely to turn to loathing quickly. Love develops over time and fosters commitment and pair-bonding. However, lust could turn to loathing since perhaps one didn't have enough time to really get to know who the person was during those early lustful days/weeks."
#9
As fast as it took for his wife to call me at work to tell me that he was not only married, but had three children including a newborn.
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202points
#10
My mother fought cancer for 5 years. My father let my sister and I do 95% of the work/caregiving and after her death expected us to step into her place and take care of him. The man I used to love and respect is gone and I can't stand to be around him anymore.
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194points
#11
I loved (still love) playing Pokémon and I had no female friends with the same interest. Found out about this group of guys that played it after school. Got really excited and made plans with them. I waited for hours and they never showed up... next day I overhear my best childhood friend laughing about how annoying I was and that they had to hide from me to play in peace. That really hurt
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190points
#12
My father abandoned me and my ill mother. He just, ran away.
I am a single child so I had to take care of her on my own. It was hard.
I loathed him, hated him. I no longer hate him, just fogot about him. Hating someone for too long takes a heavy toll. I am grateful to have had the chance to take care of my mother and help her get well.
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183points
#13
When my grandfather screamed at my mother that she had ruined his life by being born. Never spoke to him again after that.
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180points
#14
Ex and I dated off and on for 5 years. Birth control failed and I wound up pregnant. The minute I told him he completely changed - called me every name in the book. Threatened to beat the sh*t out of me so I would miscarry. After he ordered me to abort/adopt her out I said that I wanted to keep her but would leave his name off the birth certificate. He said "No, if you have her then I want her. I'll fight you for her and make your life miserable." And even though she's a teenager, he's still trying to get full custody and take her away.
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169points
#15
My husband adopted my son when he was 3 after being in his life since he was 1. Gave him his last name the whole nine yards. When we had a child of our own (who was a girl) and decided we were done having kids; His mother said to me it’s a-shame we aren’t having more kids, As she would have liked someone to carry on the family name.
I have only tolerated her at holidays ever since.
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166points
#16
I worked for my step mom with the intent that I would take over the business when she retired in a few years. I took more than a 50% pay cut and left my career of 10 years of managing and leading organizations to come work for her.
Those few years came and went with her unable to even talk about a timeline for retirement. I spent years trying to fix processes and procedures around the office to make her life easier and to make the general workflow easier for all employees, but she was completely resistant to any change from the status quo while simultaneously always complaining about how busy she was and how we just didn’t have any good processes in place.
I finally confronted her about her retirement timeline and putting it in writing that I would be her succession plan. She balked at even putting together a plan for her retirement. I let her know that I really couldn’t hang around if there weren’t any prospects for advancement or pay increases.
My wife secured a job in a new town and I gave my step mom a six-month notice that we would be moving. I explained that I would be more than willing to help hire and train my replacement and finish formalizing all of the procedures I had developed in my time there.
She fired me the next business day.
F**k that b***h.
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165points
#17
A co-worker was talking to me about the issues he was having with his 12 year old step-daughter. Another co-worker sitting by us asked; "have you tried raping her?". Thought he was an OK guy, but not after that line. The day he was fired was a good day.
Follow up:
He had only worked there about 2 months, didn't talk much, so that was a pretty messed up first comment to a private conversation. I think (or hope) he was trying to be funny. He was fired about 9 days later, no reason was given to the rest of the crew, boss just said "Greg has been let go".
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160points
#18
In a split-second.
My husband (at the time) and I were physically separated. I was pregnant with our second child. And *I* was under the impression we were working things out to ultimately get our family back together in the same household (that whole part is a long, long story).
Needless to say ... my ex-husband DID NOT come to the birth of our son. And his mother had to tell him when I went into labor and had the child. When he finally called me (hours upon hours later) he asked me what I named our son ... when he found out I did NOT name him a "junior" but instead gave him his OWN name that didn't have any relation to my ex-husband or his family ... well, he told me it was a 'gay-a*s Christian name for someone not even a Christian' then hung up on me and refused to answer for days.
On top of the total disrespect and display of selfish pouting...a family member finally disclosed to me after my son was born that he (my ex-husband) spent the entire year milking me for money to finance an affair that resulted in him; moving in with the chick, getting her name tattooed on his arm and using MY money to pay for groceries and other household essentials.
After all that ... I was done. I called him out on his affair which shocked him and resulted in him freaking out and stalking me for weeks to "find out who told me!!!??!" I filed for divorce while on maternity leave and cut his a*s all the way off. Of course he tried arguing that by NOT helping him I was hurting my kids 'cause, you know, according to him .. how was he supposed to help his kids if I didn't first help him (with money, his car payment, insurance, etc.)?!? UGH. Such a low-life bum!
And in one split second ...I despised everything he was, would be and had been ...I wish him ill-will and the truest form of karma. I don't 'feel sorry' for him and I have zero concern for his life.
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160points
#19
When i was younger I found out one of my childhood friends was stealing from me and the friendship group. Every so often we would 'lose' a phone or Ipod then said friend would have conveniently got the same model but beat it up a bit with his initials in tipex or something stupid. Being a good friend we didnt want to believe it but we started putting distinct markings on our items. Low and behold my phone goes missing and he turns up with the same one a few weeks later with the markings. We brought him up on it but he just lost his temper and stormed off. 15 years later hes in prison for armed robbery....
Edit: Obligatory 'that blew up/RIP inbox'
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156points
#20
When he found out my ex was black and was disgusted by that. Went from a nice guy who I could maybe see a future with to complete racist pos who I never wanted to see again.
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155points