Hosting houseguests can come with its challenges. On the one hand, you want everything to be perfect for the visit; on the other, you’re disrupting the sanctuary that is your home by always putting your guests’ needs first, if only for a few days.
One woman who was having some friends over for a weekend felt taken advantage of by their request to hang out for an extra day just so they could save on airfare. When she told them they wouldn’t be welcome, though, things escalated fast.
More info: Reddit
It’s not always easy to be the perfect host, as this woman found out the hard way
Image credits: Tahir osman / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
She was planning on hosting some out-of-town friends for a weekend when they demanded one favor too many
Image credits: gaspar zaldo / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
In order to save on airfare, they’d booked their departure flight for Monday night and assumed they could spend an extra day hanging out at the woman’s house
Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The woman, who likes to take the day off after hosting guests, straight up told them they could explore the sights, but they wouldn’t be welcome at her home
Image credits: TeeBrownie
Her friends couldn’t grasp why staying an extra day was such a big deal, so she turned to netizens to ask if kicking them out 11 hours before their flight would be a jerk move
OP shared how she and her husband always go the extra mile when friends visit, including regular professional cleaning and full-on hospitality. When her friend and his wife planned a weekend trip over summer, everything seemed fine, until her friend found out she planned on taking the Monday off and decided to take advantage.
In her post, OP explained that she usually takes an extra day off after hosting to rest and decompress. It’s her little ritual to return to normal after playing the perfect host. However, when her husband casually mentioned this rest day, her friend suddenly booked a late-night Monday flight.
Instead of flying out in the morning, he expected to stay at their house all day Monday - lounging, being fed, and even getting a free ride to the airport. OP immediately said no. She told him he and his wife would be leaving her house at 8 a.m., and if they wanted to explore, they could do it solo and even leave their luggage at her house.
Her friend admitted he only booked the late flight because it was cheaper and expected her to keep the guest treatment going. He also refused to pay for an Uber to the airport. Understandably, OP was having none of it.
Now she’s being labeled a “horrible friend” by her future guests, so she’s turned to an online community to ask if blocking the unplanned vacation extension is out of line.
OP's guests seem more than just a little entitled. Exploiting her hospitality is predictable for people who think the world owes them something, though. So, how should she deal with their lousy attitude? We went looking for answers.
Image credits: Monstera Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
In her article for Psychology Today, Shawn M. Burn (Ph.D.) writes that, at home, we operate according to automatic routines and habits that require little thought.
According to Burn, this predictability, control, and ability to turn off our brains are why our homes are sacred places. Houseguests disrupt our routines, reduce feelings of personal control, and make privacy regulation more difficult.
Guests in your home also require significant energy. Sustaining polite interpersonal interaction and maintaining our public face in what is normally a private space for our private face can be exhausting.
In her podcast for The Savvy Psychologist, Dr. Monica Johnson says entitled people often feel validated by those who cater to their demands. It's critical to avoid enabling entitled behavior by refusing to comply with unreasonable requests. By setting firm limits, individuals can help entitled folks learn that they aren’t owed special treatment.
We’d say OP sticking to her guns is the best move, then. By refusing to buckle to her guest’s demands, she’s making sure she doesn’t set a dangerous precedent for future visits. If her guests can’t accept that, maybe they’re not such good friends after all.
Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Tirrell De Gannes of the Thriving Center of Psychology to ask him whether or not he thought OP was being unreasonable by refusing her house guests another day. Here's what he had to say, "OP is certainly not being unreasonable. People often feel hurt or personally slighted when they unexpectedly come up against another person's boundaries. That does not make the person with boundaries wrong,"
De Gannes added, "Guests can overstay their welcome. Requesting for OP to not only house you so that you can save money but also entertain you for the day and likely feed you is not reasonable if she does not want to. The guests are being selfish."
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think she should let her guests walk all over her, or nip this situation in the bud before it turns into a monster? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, most readers agreed the host was not out of line, but one said everyone in the whole mess was being a jerk
