There are numerous definitions of friendship, from the most brilliant minds in human history to mere mortals, but most often it's noted that friendship is, at a minimum, treating another person the way you would want to be treated. And this is where many people clearly struggle...
The narrator of our story today spent a year and a half in close communication with a woman he sincerely considered a friend. He turned a blind eye to her obvious "red flags," apparently dismissing them as mere trivialities. However, sooner or later, everyone's eyes open - and this story is no exception.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, people believe that friendship is telling off others for something, even resorting to outright badmouthing, and then life gives them reality checks
Image credits: pressfoto / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The author of the post is a gay man in his late 20s, working in the hospital, and happily married
Image credits: DC Studio / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The author's friend of 1.5 years, however, believed that he was a gold digger, as his husband was quite well-off
Image credits: Stockbusters / Magnific (not the actual photo)
She resorted to blatant badmouthing about the author, even while talking to his husband, and so the friendship faded out
Image credits: Aquarius7072025
After running into the author in a mall some time later, the woman started berating him, and he then gave her the ugly truth about her own life
So, the Original poster (OP) is a married gay man in his late 20s, and he and his husband work in the medical field. Our hero's husband is quite wealthy, and the author says he moved from his hometown to live with him. Several years ago, the OP was in medical school, where he met a woman he calls K.
She became his de facto friend, but she was constantly envious of our hero's “lavish” lifestyle. For example, he sometimes drove to classes in his husband's sports car, and K apparently jumped to the wrong conclusion, thinking the author was a typical gold digger.
Well, time passed, and K got dumped by her boyfriend and lost her job, ending up with her parents. Meanwhile, our hero was successfully working at a new job and happily married. Then, during a friendly gathering, K made critical digs at the OP while chatting with his husband, to the point that the author stopped considering her a friend.
The denouement came at a local mall, when the guy ran into K with her twin, and she, one by one, openly told him everything she thought of him. The man couldn't resist giving her some harsh reality checks about losing her job, her relationship, and living off her parents. An ugly fight ensued, K was escorted by the police, and our hero finally realized he had one less friend.
Image credits: kues1 / Magnific (not the actual photo)
"Without a doubt, people love to label others, regardless of whether it's even partially true," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "Usually, such labels stem from envy or anger toward the other person."
In other words, as the expert explains, people often see the world around them not as it actually is, but through the prism of their judgments, impressions, and, at times, even the limitations of their thinking. Accordingly, any virtue here can appear as a flaw, and good as evil.
"After all, someone wise once said that we’re all deluded to the extent of our depravity. And if this woman truly saw her ‘ideal’ life as being a gold digger herself, she could’ve unconsciously projected that vision onto the lives of those around her, thereby hurting them with her thoughtless statements," Irina sums up.
People in the comments also agreed with the OP that it most likely wasn't friendship, at least not on his former "friend's" part. Especially considering that, according to his words, she also borrowed money from him, which the author ultimately never recovered. Well, it's always good when such destructive relationships end, isn't it, our dear readers?
Most commenters sided with the author because such "friends" aren't actually friends, and the woman apparently was a gold digger herself
