30 Ex-Racists Share What Honestly Changed Their Views

My parents were/are racist. I grew up in a “Christian evangelical” household. Despite living in a diverse city (London) my parents would say the most disgusting things. And of course, I said the same things. I didn’t know any better - until I educated myself. Now I call out the racisms and homophobia - but it’s exhausting being the person who made mum cry again. My mum died a while ago, and although I do miss her and have fond memories of her - my overruling memories of her is when she was toxic and racist/homophobic. My dad is the same, but is less vocal about it.

My parents were the typical I am not racist I have black/Asian friends. I always used to say, what do you think your black/Asians friends would say if they heard what you said behind closed doors.

One time - I moved country. And I was really new to the country so didn’t speak the native language. My mum FaceTimed me and was complaining about how she is fed up of not hearing English in the streets and all these immigrants taking our jobs.. blah blah blah. I couldn’t believe she was saying that - to me, an immigrant who didn’t speak the language. Racists are just f**king stupid. There is zero logic in their way of thinking.

Little nervous posting this, ngl. I served Marine infantry for four years and deployed to the middle east. I got out about 6 years ago and idk if racist is the right to describe me then, but its pretty close. I hated everyone from the middle east. Didn't matter religion, age, gender - I hated all of them. If they were born in the US, I had no feelings against them, which is why idk if its racism or "regionalism" or something. Maybe I'm trying to shift blame, but I feel like it was not all my fault. We were trained to not think of them as people, and seeing them in country wounding and killing my fellow Americans really had a way of warping my opinion.

I got out of it by growing up and experiencing diverse cultures in college. The world is a huge place. If I can go out of state to this university and meet people from other states, other countries...they are good people from places I've never heard of. It just makes sense that there must be good people in the middle east as well. It took a few years of softening up, but the hatred wore off. I look back and im at least a little disgusted with myself. I never acted out against someone or committed a hate crime. It simply wasn't fair of me to think the way I did. But tbh a lot of things aren't fair to a poor boy from the middle of a flyover state fighting in a war. I'm glad I changed. I'm not glad I was ever that hateful in the first place. Its not one of those "im glad I experienced it so I could grow" situations. It was just bad.

I was a lower case r racist growing up. Not a cross burner or anything like that, but I had biases, I made tons of jokes and comments, and as shallow as this sounds I wouldn't even watch porn if it featured anyone of color.

what broke it for me was my early adult life. I worked s**t jobs and dealt with occasional homelessness. I ended up having to spend time with people of color. A lot of it.

It's hard to stay angry and bitter when you work with people for years, alone with them for hours at a time every night. You find common ground even if you try and fight it.

It starts with overhearing them talk about s**t you like too, smelling their dinner while they're on break and going "damn that smells delicious.", seeing s**t in the newspapers and hearing them express similar feelings.

No matter how much you try and dehumanize them, you just can't fight the eventual realization that they're just like you, with maybe a few quirky differences.

Travelling. To actually experience the culture of other people is a brutal eye-opener.

Echo chambers and lack of diversity. I grew up in the 90’s in an area with a tiny black population. The older people were racist, and the younger people just repeated what the older people said and didn’t have any experiences with black people that could have changed their minds. Not to mention it doesn’t help when the news blasted black crime all over the television every night to help fuel the divide.

I started thinking for myself and learned to judge people based on the person they are. I read books, and philosophies, and simply educated myself. I also started noticing that the white supremacists were always the least supreme looking of the white race. Trash breads trash.

Interacting with other races. Was racist against Mexican people because the first one I spoke to was a d**k. Loved black people cuz one of my best friends was black. Then I worked with the laziest slobbiest black guy, and the most honest hard-working Mexican dude. Then I remembered that a lot of white people were d**ks, and a lot of us were lazy. And then I met this Indian dude. He smelled. Awful. Every day he smelled terrible. I also am capable of smelling awful and I've been a d**k to people, and I've been lazy at some jobs. I'm a person, everyone else is also a person, really doesn't matter that colour they are or what they believe in. I'll disagree with some people and I'll agree with others. We're all people.

I was raised in a close family setting and didn’t have many friends. Went to school but never really did anything. Made good grades. Dropped out 9th grade really went full on conservative and racist. I mean my whole family still is so it was just casual talk for us.

Then I went to college, met a lot of people, did a lot of finding myself. I knew I was a lesbian years ago when I was 18. But when I was in my late 20s early 30s I went to college and really found myself. Realized that’s not how I wanted to live. I was socialized with lots of people from lots of different backgrounds and lots of new perspectives. And found out that within myself I was an angry person due to my past traumas and didn’t like that part of me. And almost changed overnight. I don’t laugh at my families racist jokes anymore, I don’t hang out with them much unless they come to my house, I’ve moved past it and have grown up and matured.

I’m not perfect but I’m no longer a racist. And I no longer blindly say all cops are good. Husband and I argue quite a bit over that. He was a police dispatcher for 20 years. He sees the bad ones but says it’s only a few. And in recent years we’ve both realized it’s more than just a few.

I realized that I didn’t dislike black people for being black...I disliked pretty much everyone regardless of color. Just lived in a s**tty area and everyone was s**tty. Left and everything got better.

Leaving home. My mom is Japanese and raised me Japanese, racism and all. I left my house late 17y/o and now that I’ve lived on my own, I grew to be myself, and with that, grew up mentally.

I come from a non-practicing Christian background and grew up in a small town where everyone was white as well. Though I never personally experienced outwardly racist sentiments from my family, I did not personally meet someone with different skin color than mine until I was 19. That's 19 years of development and never personally interacting with someone of a visibly different race. There was 1 black family that moved to my town when I was about 11 and I found out years later they sadly had to move due to racism. I'm sure that was very isolating for them. Thanks to a weird, archaic, low-tech device called a 'television' I was exposed to African Americans by way of Family Matters, The Cosby Show, and 21 Jumpstreet. Carl Otis Winslow's outbursts cracked me up. I never much cared for Urkel and his antics, Carl was my 'average dad next-door' hero. Theo Huxtable was an early tv crush, and as I got a little older, I adored Judy Hoffs! She was the coolest cop chick on tv and wanted to hang out with her at that modified church headquarters. I still watch the show just for her character, and to recognize filming locations and scenic backdrops from Vancouver. Not to mention some of my favorite vocalists are Mixed Race/African American/Jamaican or from the Bahamas. Through the entertainment I consumed, I just accepted that there are people out there, vastly different than myself that I was always curious about them. I just always assumed people who weren't having vile racist poison poured down their gullets and had access to cable, movies, and MTV would experience different people the same way. It's nice to know there's hope for people to come out of that. I'd like to believe that racism, is one small jagged fragment of the human condition that has never taken hold in my mind and I hope it never does.