Bored Panda
136 Football Jokes That’ll Score Some Laughs
Funny,JokesAUG 22, 2022

136 Football Jokes That’ll Score Some Laughs

10
2
To make it clear right from the beginning, the football jokes in this list will talk about European football, also known as soccer, to those on the other side of the pond. The football where you kick the ball, rather than grapple for it, the football that most likely stems from 12th-century England, and the one that supplies some of the most famous athletes on our planet. Well, you get the gist - this is our article dedicated to football, a.k.a. soccer jokes, where we lovingly make fun of this ancient game, its fans, and the ball-kicking frenzy that comes with it.
Unlike any other sports jokes, these ones have a particular affinity for the fans. Seems like if it weren’t for them and their unabashed dedication to their teams, football would lose half of its charm. The rivalries between fans are as fierce as (if not fiercer than) those among the teams themselves, and that makes for a very fertile ground for undeniably hilarious jokes. In fact, any rivalry makes for amazing silly jokes, but when it comes to football, the feeling is just unmatched! Of course, these jokes about football will talk about the game itself, too, but you’ll see a definite pattern of devotees taking center stage.
So, get ready for some funny football jokes that wait for you just a smidgen further down. Once you are there, give the best jokes your vote, and be sure to share this article with your football-crazy friends!

#1

During the World Cup in Brazil, the England team visited an orphanage. “It was heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said João, age 6.
unknown
Report
16points

#2

England's relationship with football is a lot like the dad who went out for cigarettes. We keep saying he is coming home. But never does.
unknown
Report
15points

#3

What does a West Ham United fan do after winning the Premier League?
Turn off the Xbox.
unknown
Report
14points

#4

“I hate it when people compare Lionel Messi with Jesus. I mean he’s good and all, but he’s no Messi.”
unknown
Report
14points

#5

What is the best way to protect your house from terrible football?
A Guard-iola dog!
unknown
Report
13points

#6

Grandpa walks into his grandson watching a football match:
Grandpa: "Who's playing?"
Grandson: "Czech and Slovakia."
Grandpa: "Against who?"
unknown
Report
13points

#7

How many hearts can the Belgium football team break at once?
About a Brazilian...
unknown
Report
12points

#8

What do Lionel Messi and a magician have in common?
Both do hat-tricks!
unknown
Report
11points

#9

What is a ghost’s favorite football position?
Ghoulkeeper!
unknown
Report
11points

#10

Who scored the most goals in the Greek Mythology League?
The centaur forward!
unknown
Report
10points

#11

As the team’s struggles continued, a pound coin was thrown onto the pitch. Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.
unknown
Report
10points

#12

Timmy, the goalkeeper of the school team, is sitting on the field after a big loss.
"My boy.", an old man said behind him, "I saw you play. I think I can help you."
"Are you a coach?"
"No, I'm an eye doctor."
unknown
Report
10points

#13

What’s the difference between The Invisible Man and [insert team name]?
You’ve got more chance of seeing The Invisible Man at the World Cup Finals!
unknown
Report
9points

#14

Three hours of football and the goalkeeper is still England’s top scorer…
unknown
Report
9points

#15

Why should you avoid playing football against a team of big cats?
They might be cheetahs!
unknown
Report
9points

#16

How many Manchester City fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None - they're quite happy living in the shadows.
unknown
Report
9points

#17

What do you call a Frenchman playing on a Nintendo Console?
Thierry on Wii.
unknown
Report
9points

#18

Why didn't the dog want to play football?
Because he was a boxer.
unknown
Report
9points

#19

Why are the Italians so good at football?
Because it involves changing sides halfway through.
unknown
Report
9points

#20

I left two [insert team] tickets on my dashboard yesterday. Someone smashed the window and left two more.
unknown
Report
8points
10
2