Bored Panda
"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
FoodDEC 13, 2022

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like

101
41
Everyone’s got their favorite dishes, that’s no surprise to anyone. But if we’re being brutally honest, there are some food items that make us go ‘Yuck!’ and ‘Ew!’ really loudly in our heads… though we just don’t vocalize all of that because we’re in polite company. We have to at least pretend that we’re ‘normal.’
That’s one of the perks of Reddit: you can (semi)anonymously share your real thoughts and feelings on a topic. It’s great—cathartic even—to get the fact that you really hate what most others enjoy off your chest. Redditor u/Aarunascut started up a fascinating thread on r/AskMen, asking people to share the foods that they think people only pretend to like.
We’ve collected the very best comments to share with you, dear Pandas, so scroll down and check out what everyone thinks. Which answers do you agree with? Which of the food items that were mentioned do you genuinely enjoy and why? What do you love and hate the most? Share your opinions in the comments!
A lot of the food items in this list (especially the seafood and veggies) are actually quite healthy. Bored Panda got in touch with health and fitness coach Anna Armagno Toussaint who shared her wisdom about the food groups that it's best to focus on and avoid, what to do if what you're constantly eating tastes bland, and how to deal with cravings for your favorite not-so-healthy (junk) foods. You'll find our full interview with the coach below, Pandas. Read on and check it out!

#1

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Green Smoothies (the ones with no fruit or sugar in them). There’s no way your carrot, beetroot, kale, and spinach smoothie with an extra shot of turmeric tastes like anything other than a donkey’s booty hole….
192points

"Focus on whole foods, especially fruit and vegetables as well as getting enough protein and fiber to get you full so you don't crave the bad stuff. When your body craves something, even if it is a 'bad' food, it is usually because you are missing a nutrient that can be found in a 'good' food— you just have to decipher it," health and fitness coach Anna explained to Bored Panda, adding that your research can start with a simple Google search.

"Avoid sugar as much as possible and processed food. The more you look at labels (at least, or especially, in the US) there is sugar added to everything! So if you can avoid the most processed stuff, then everything in moderation works a little better," she said.

#2

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Oysters.
Tastes like dirty sea water and has the texture of snot.
185points

#3

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
American cheese, I don’t know how anyone likes this plastic fake food
155points

Quite a few people who start their fitness journey find it hard to suddenly start eating healthy, bland-tasting food. Bored Panda wanted to get the fitness coach's advice on how they might approach balancing taste and nutrition. 

"This was me! I only liked about 3 vegetables and let me tell you how fast carrot sticks get boring... try new things. Look up recipes online. Start with what you know and build from there," she gave some great tips.

"The foods will get better as you learn to cook with leaner meats and more veggies and the internet is a treasure trove of recipes and healthy ideas!"

#4

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Escargot. The sheer amount of melted butter and garlic it’s served with tells me enough to know that no one actually likes the snail part.
153points

#5

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Black licorice. It's the worst flavour and it lingers
136points

#6

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Super hot chilli sauces. They burn the inside of your mouth to the point where you cannot tell what the food it is on tastes like.
Ghost pepper sauce on beef, chicken or fish castrate the experience of food.
Those spices are nature’s way discouraging eating.
I often assume that they were developed as a way to hide rotting meat.
133points

Meanwhile, coach Anna said that the key to dealing with food cravings (e.g. sugary snacks, junk food) is to plan ahead.

"Knowing what you will eat throughout the day leaves less decision-making and fewer opportunities to break down and have the sugary stuff. That said, it is ok to have those foods sometimes—just make sure you're filling up on a colorful plate and not a bag of Oreos," she said.

"Tony Horton says 'do your best and forget the rest'— as long as you are really trying, having one scoop of ice cream or a cookie at the end of the day isn't going to hurt you."

#7

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Vegan "cheese"
126points

#8

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Well done steak.
It destroys the flavour and texture, you may as well just save yourself some money and buy chicken instead.
125points

#9

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Kombucha
124points

When it comes to food, people tend to draw very firm battle lines. The kitchen is generally a very black-or-white, love-or-hate place to find yourself in.

For instance, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who ‘moderately enjoys’ olives. You usually see people who love ‘em so much they’ve got an ‘I love olives’ T-shirt hidden in their closet or you come across folks who detest them with a briny passion.

The same goes for oysters. Either you hear gourmands rave about what a delicacy they are or you have people who think they’re goopy snot shells. You won’t know which side of the sea fence you fall on until you give ‘em a try.

Oh, and don’t worry, we won’t judge any of you Pandas. For instance, yours truly really dislikes caviar, even though it’s supposed to be all delish and fancy. Personally, I think they’re tiny little salt bubbles that don’t taste any good. Sure, they’re okay on a bit of buttered toast, with a thin slice of lemon. But why would you choose caviar when you can eat something actually good like grilled prawns? Or, you know, proper fish!

We also hear that some of our fellow Pandas don't like onions and celery. And though it might seem a tad bizarre to avoid ingredients that are so ubiquitous, we totally get it. They're not for everyone!

#10

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Offal and tripe
118points

#11

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Kale
Edit: If you're going to defend kale, stop. Save your comment. It tastes like sad.
110points

#12

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Vegetarian meat alternatives for mince beef, chicken breast and sausages etc. I would rather replace meat with a tasty veggie rather than have a mouthful of something with the wrong flavour and consistency.
95points

Expanding your gastronomic experience is something that you should probably aspire to. You can’t really expect to live the rest of your life eating your favorite steak with a side of mac and cheese at your local diner. Sometimes, you’ve got to give vegetables a try.

You can’t really expect to like everything new from the get-go. It takes a while for your palate to adjust. Try just a nibble of broccoli or something else you’ve been avoiding for ages now. Then, move on to something more complex (or just take bigger bites). You might be pleasantly surprised.

Or you might realize that no matter how much you try, there are certain ingredients that you loathe more than getting up early on a Monday morning. Either way, you grow as a person. And, let’s face it, new experiences are what make life worth living.

#13

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Man I feel bad for cauliflower. It didn't ask to be s**tty chicken wings or fart flavoured rice. It's just trying to be broccoli's dropout brother and live in the attic playing halo
95points

#14

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Caviar. I'd like some salt paste, please, for $100 a scoop.
95points

#15

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Beer.
It all tastes like bitter, fizzy, dry, grainy p**s
92points

We'd really love to hear about what foods you enjoy and can't stand no matter how many times you try, Pandas. Feel free to share your experiences in the comments.

Meanwhile, if you enjoyed this post, consider checking out Bored Panda's earlier article about the foods that people most likely pretend to enjoy right over here.

#16

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Blood sausage. (retch)
Food made on a dare or what?
89points

#17

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Stuff with gristle or tendons or tons of fat, like the thick strips of fat on the outside of pork chops
86points

#18

Not a food, but Cilantro. Tastes like literal soap too me, but people say otherwise.
85points

#19

"They're Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness": 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like
Freaking matcha. It's like drinking fish water.
82points

#20

Liver
Report
77points
101
41