You've swiped right, exchanged witty banter, and landed yourself a coveted first date. Excitement fills the air, and warm butterflies fill your tummy as you imagine the possibilities of a potential connection. But before you dive headfirst into the love pool, it's important to not get ahead of yourself, since there might be a deal-breaker just around the next corner.
In fact, the success ratio of the first date is so low that nowadays people often find themselves contemplating an escape plan before even stepping foot into the rendezvous. Startlingly, a recent statistic revealed that nearly 60% of single individuals openly confessed to resorting to an escape plan to extricate themselves from the clutches of a nightmarish first date.
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According to a study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers provided a list of 17 negative personality traits to over 5000 single adults. Participants were asked to indicate whether they would consider these traits as deal breakers in a long-term relationship with a potential partner. While the Independent reports that more women than men considered these traits as deal breakers, the study revealed that there were more similarities than differences between the two sexes.
When it comes to deal-breakers, both men and women agree that a "disheveled or unclean appearance" takes the top spot, with 71 percent of women and 63 percent of men considering it a major turn-off. Additionally, 72 percent of women and 60 percent of men cannot tolerate a partner who is deemed "lazy."
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When it comes to deal-breakers, both men and women agree that a "disheveled or unclean appearance" takes the top spot, with 71 percent of women and 63 percent of men considering it a major turn-off. Additionally, 72 percent of women and 60 percent of men cannot tolerate a partner who is deemed "lazy." Being "too needy" is another deal-breaker, with 69 percent of women and 57 percent of men opting to walk away.
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"If you've been on one or two dates with somebody and then they suddenly start to love-bomb you with loads of texts, loads of emails, telling you how much they like you, making loads of plans for the future - that is a big warning sign," Laura Buckley, a certified matchmaker and the founder of Secret Alchemy, told Bored Panda in a Zoom call.
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Love bombing, though it may appear innocuous in certain instances, actually encompasses a more severe 'red flag' within a relationship. It involves the use of seemingly lavishing gestures like sending presents, flowers, constant communication via texts and calls, and other behaviors, as a means to establish dominance and control over the other person. If you've seen Netflix's 'The Tinder Swindler,' you know what we're on about.
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Also waterboarding conversationalist. Like you have to torture them to hold a conversation.
"If you've been single for a while and you meet somebody who seems really lovely, treats you with affection and attention, it's really difficult to take a step back and go, 'What's that all about?'", Buckley explained, admitting most single people have fallen for this at least once in their experience. "Obviously, now we know that love bombing can be quite psychologically damaging and it can lead to abusive relationships."
According to a recent Forbes article, the TikTok hashtags #lovebombing and #lovebomb have gained significant attention, accumulating 329 million and 133 million views, respectively. Users are utilizing these hashtags to share their own personal encounters with the manipulative phenomenon of love bombing.
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As one of the most upvoted comments in the list suggests, having your date speak about their ex won't lead to a second date. "If I'm on a first date and a person is chatting away about their ex and they're calling them crazy or a crank, that's going to be a no for me," said Buckley.
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"Learning how relationships ended (and even began) and how long they lasted can tell you a lot about a person," Yuko Nippoda, psychotherapist and spokesperson for the UK Council for Psychotherapy, recently told Refinery29. "It can reveal red flags, especially in the way they talk about their exes."
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Politeness, grace, and a dash of table etiquette have the power to make a lasting impression. Imagine, if you will, a romantic dinner transformed into a sideshow spectacle by the sound of soup being slurped like a blender and hands being used as excavation tools. It's no wonder that researchers have identified certain food habits as the biggest pet peeves. In fact, a staggering 68% of people consider talking with your mouth full as the most unforgivable food sin.
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Navigating the treacherous waters of politics, then, is like walking through a minefield on a first date. It's fine to have passionate opinions, but turning your dinner into a heated debate on global policies can be a surefire way to extinguish any romantic sparks. Nothing dampens the mood faster than the sudden realization that your date's political beliefs are on the opposite side of the spectrum, and neither of you is willing to back down. Unless, of course, you have a bizarre fetish for fierce political discussions.