30 Dumb Ways To Get Fired On Day One, As Seen In These Entertaining Examples

"Now that I'm hired, I need the next 3 weeks off starting tomorrow and the entire month of December."

He showed a relatively flat chested girl in the office the results of his wife's breast augmentation on his phone and gave her the contact details of the plastic surgeon.

I was 13 and secured my first job at a pet supply company called PAWS. after my first day we were all done cleaning up the store so we all milked the clock for the last ten minutes sitting around chatting it up. The topic of my age came up and I told them I was only thirteen. I didn't know it was illegal at the time and the job required you be 18 to work there because it was a warehouse environment.

The next morning I came to work on time and was pulled into the office. I was told I couldn't work there because I was underage. I walked 3 miles home crying like a little b***h because I thought I was fired for underperforming.

Not quite first day, but when I was in the Army, we had a Soldier who came to the unit. Within about a week of his arrival, one of my good Soldiers came and told me he'd been in the car with this new kid, and the new guy had started telling him about how cool it would be to pull out a gun and start shooting other drivers randomly. Bear in mind, this took place only a few months after the Nidal Malik Hassan massacre at Ft. Hood.

He was in the psych ward by the end of the day, and his separation paperwork (that I had to complete) was done by the next morning.

Edit:. Damn, this has gotten a lot more response than I expected, so to clarify on a few things.

-I got MY portion of the separation paperwork done by the next morning, that doesn't mean ALL the separation paperwork was complete.

-This wasn't a 'that m**********r cut me off! Man if I had my gun on me...' type of thing. The dude straight up said how awesome it would be to just start killing people at random.

Not an employer or manager, but a girl at my job showed up absolutely plastered on her first day of work. Working at a machine shop, I'm sure you can imagine that this was especially a no-no.

I still wonder why anyone would show up drunk on their first day of work. Nerves maybe?

Work at a used record store. While giving the guy the tour he mentions how we underbelly our LPS and let's us know he's just going to use his employee discount to re sell all the good stuff that comes in in our eBay Store. He lasted about an hour.

Caught him snorting some kind of pill. He probably could have gotten away with it, if he wasn't doing it in my office.

Did a Tarzan swing on a overhead hoist remote cable going some 20 feet before the cable tore out. It only took maintenance 20 minutes to fix, but he was gone by then.

Security supervisor at a hospital. At the end of my first day, the girl relieving me comes in 37 minutes late. She didn't know I was going to be there so she took her time getting there. She promises up and down that the next day she would be there on time. The next day she is no call/no show. She was gainfully unemployed after that.

I'm not a manager, but I had a potential co-worker who called in sick. I guess he didn't know that the manager didn't have to work through the evening and bumped into him at the movies. My boss told us this as he fired him the next day.