Parents are expected to take care of their children, that’s nothing new. However, it can be quite hurtful to learn that your kids don’t seem to be all that grateful for your financial and emotional support. It can sting even more if you realize that, when you grow old, they don’t plan on helping you out even one bit. It’s enough to make anyone reevaluate their current arrangement.
Reddit user u/Virtual-Cup-5932 turned to the r/AITAH subreddit with a real conundrum. He explained that he recently learned that his daughter has no plans to take care of him when he gets older. As such, he’s considering cutting her off financially and instead investing that money into his retirement. You’ll find the full story, as well as the net’s reaction to it, below.
It's expected of parents to support their children. However, the question is how long they should keep the money flowing
Image credits: Lukas (not the actual photo)
A dad turned to the internet for advice after sharing how ungrateful his daughter was despite his financial backing
Image credits: macniak (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Matthias Zomer (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Virtual-Cup-5932
The author was wondering whether he should be investing all of that money into his retirement fund instead
The OP shared how a recent argument at home made him reconsider giving his daughter $1,000 per month to make ends meet. He got the idea that his daughter wasn’t planning on supporting him in the far-off future when he was too old to work.
Worried about life as a senior, he’s thinking about using that monthly sum and investing it in a retirement fund. However, he’s on the fence about the entire situation, which was why asked Reddit for advice. Bored Panda has reached out to u/Virtual-Cup-5932 via Reddit and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
Most internet users were very supportive of the dad. Some readers were shocked at how ungrateful the daughter seemed to be. According to Reddit, the OP should probably consider redirecting those finances elsewhere, where they’re better suited. Other internet users, however, were appalled by everyone in the redditor's story, including him. They advised the dad to have an honest talk with his daughter before taking any further steps.
As harsh as it might sound, someone who is unable to be even slightly grateful for the money they’re receiving might not deserve this type of support. At the same time, it’s important to keep in mind that nobody should be making any life-changing decisions based on one argument. Even someone who’s a nice, kind, caring person can snap and say or do something hurtful every once in a while.
No matter how well-off a family might be, gratitude is still very important
You need to look at the broader context and at behavior trends. If someone’s been behaving rudely toward the people who support them for years and years, then yes, it’s definitely time to reevaluate things.
On the flip side, let’s say that the daughter apologizes for her behavior, puts more effort into looking for a job, and decides to downsize expenses. That would be proof of genuine character growth. And that sort of person might be worth investing into, to help her out during her transition period from college to the job industry.
Every family’s situation is different, so there are no clear-cut answers about how long parents ought to support their kids financially. Similarly, there are no clear rules for the extent to which children should help their parents when they grow old. A lot of this will depend on the culture and country they live in, their financial means, and the strength of their relationships.
Someone from a close-knit, well-off family that has a strong tradition of looking after their own would likely expect to have at least some sort of financial support after finishing their studies. On the flip side, a person who was raised in a family that values independence and self-sufficiency might have picked up odd jobs throughout their studies to make ends meet, so that they wouldn’t have to drain their parents’ savings.
Different generations have different outlooks on when someone should start being financially independent from their parents
Many parents see it as their duty to help their children out in any way that they can. And it would be a comforting fact if someone knew that they’d be taken care of when they’ve retired. However, life is often far from ideal.
Bloomberg states that nearly 70% of parents with children who are 18 years old or over have sacrificed their own finances to help them. In fact, some parents have even used up their retirement funds for their kids’ sake.
Different generations have different understandings of when someone should become financially independent. For example, Baby Boomers think that adults who are 20 years old should be able to stand on their own two feet. Meanwhile, members of Generation Z think that this age should be higher, at 22 years old.
Many readers thought that the father was perfectly within his rights to cut his daughter off
However, other internet users thought that nobody was blameless in this situation
