Sometimes people fall in love with a person before they realize the depth of their flaws. And sometimes they turn out to be not just simple flaws, but whole personality defects.
Like in this story, where a woman's "lovely" fiancé had a problem with her poor mental health, which he viewed as a flaw of hers, even though it isn't really one. But an even worse part was that this fiancé of hers was far from perfect himself—in fact, he was one of those who carried something more sinister than just a flaw with his personality.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes people fall in love with someone without properly knowing them
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Like this woman, who was head over heels for her fiancé, without realizing that he was as good a guy as he seemed
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
His mask started to slip when the woman was having a hard time in her life and had to take medicine
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He compared that medicine to illegal substances and yapped about how she should get off them, since it only hurt her
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
That's when the woman started noticing how controlling her fiancé actually was when it came to all her decisions
Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Then one time she said something that made him completely explode—he screamed and shouted at her in a very humiliating manner
Image credits: Choice_Evidence1983
Luckily, she was able to get out of that relationship before it was too late
Five years ago, the OP had a rough patch in life—a car accident, the start of a business, and the loss of a family member. This put a strain on her relationship with her fiancé, whom she at the time viewed as “the loveliest” man.
So, to deal with all the stress, she was prescribed a low dose of antidepressants. They helped her a lot, but it also severed her dependence on him, or at least lessened it. That made him worry about a “change in her personality.” So, he started comparing her medicine to illegal substance and claiming she was doing damage to herself, so she should stop taking them.
That’s when the woman started noticing the fiancé was actually not as lovely as she thought and was rather controlling. In fact, he wanted to be involved in every decision she made. And things only got worse from there.
One time, when they were talking, she brought up one unresolved issue they had in their relationship. This infuriated the man; he went ballistic on her. He screamed at her at the top of his lungs, face distorted, spit flying everywhere. He shrieked how she didn’t have the right brain to change, how pathetic she was, and so on.
Just as netizens pointed out, and as the woman was starting to realize herself, her fiancé was basically emotionally abusive towards her. If you were to look at a list of “diagnostic” criteria for controlling partners, he would check off a lot of those boxes.
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He wanted to make decisions for her; he blamed and criticized her—and that’s just a few of the criteria that he fit like Cinderella's shoe. The worst thing is that such control takes a toll on the person who’s being controlled, in many life areas.
Starting with emotional health, it damages self-esteem, causing them to doubt their sanity to the point where they second-guess every basic thing they do or think. It’s not uncommon to develop anxiety and depression in such conditions, and we don’t have to tell you how debilitating they can be.
It can also impact their social life, as controlling partners like to isolate them from the “outside world”—whether it’s family, friends, or anyone else. Ultimately, it’s easiest to control a person who doesn’t have anyone else to lean on or call out a power imbalance.
Not to mention the fact that sometimes emotional control can turn into physical violence. Just take this story as an example. Seeing how harshly the man exploded at the woman this time, who knows how he would have reacted next time something infuriated him. After all, control is already a form of violence; crossing it from emotional to physical only takes one mere step, which, unfortunately, many folks do take.
Luckily, in today’s story, the woman realized that their paths should separate. Granted, the post-breakup wasn’t easy for her. She spiraled into a bad depression, which took a lot of effort to step out of. But when she did, she flourished. And netizens couldn’t be happier about it—at least this story had a happy ending.
What are your thoughts about this whole emotional rollercoaster? Please, share them in the comments!
Now, years later, she's happy with a man who actually appreciates and doesn't try to control her, which makes netizens beyond happy
