Trust is absolutely essential to a long, happy, healthy relationship. In fact, I’d argue that without trust, there’s no real way to have a proper long-term relationship at all. It’s the bedrock for your love. It’s the glue that holds your common future together. And it hurts very much when you learn that your partner, the love of your life, doesn’t trust you as much as you thought they did. It's even worse when they let their family members call the shots in your relationship.
Reddit user AITAemasculatormaybe shared a story about the drama happening with her fiancé’s family with the AITA community, hoping to hear their take on the situation. She wanted to know if she was wrong for calling out her partner’s mom after she pushed her to sign a prenuptial agreement while emasculating the love of her life in front of his entire family.
After being called a gold digger, the 32-year-old redditor couldn’t take it anymore and set the record straight during a furious argument at dinner. You’ll find the full story below, dear Pandas. Let us know who you think was in the wrong here. Would you have done anything differently? Would a prenup be a deal-breaker for you? Share your thoughts with all the other Pandas in the comment section.
For those of you Pandas who might not know, a prenup is a written contract, signed by a couple that’s engaged. The contract outlines their rights and responsibilities with regard to various assets and debts. It also explains what would happen if the couple gets divorced or one of them dies. Pushing for a prenuptial agreement can potentially damage the relationship because it implies that the person may not have as much faith in their partner as previously thought. So before you ask for a prenup, consider whether you may do more harm than good.
However, dating and relationship expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man, has a different stance on prenups. He explained to Bored Panda that a prenup doesn't necessarily mean a lack of trust in the other person. "In many cases, it’s based a lack of trust in the legal system, which usually favors women over men during a divorce. My wife signed a prenup, even though I had no reason to distrust her. We’re still happily together and in love almost 9 years to this day and have two children," he said. You'll find our full interview with Dan about prenups below, dear Readers.
A woman shared how her fiancé's mother tried to force her to sign a prenuptial agreement after dinner one night
Image credits: Pexels (not the actual photo)
After being called a gold digger, she set the record straight and, in the process, emasculated her future husband
Image credits: AITAemasculatormaybe
Relationship expert Dan shared with Bored Panda that the reason he went for a prenup wasn't due to a lack of trust in the love of his life. "I went for a prenup because I don’t think a person should ever have the power to threaten another person in a relationship with half of their assets. For example: A wife says to her husband, 'If you don’t do this/that, I will divorce you and take half your stuff.' So, in my opinion, a prenup is a legitimate way to help reduce the potential for that kind of manipulation in a marriage," he opened up.
"My wife was earning slightly more than me when we first met, but that didn’t change my stance on prenups. For me, a prenup about getting rid of the potential for manipulation or threats and allowing a relationship to last on love, rather than on nasty legal ramifications."
The agreement had no repercussions for his relationship. "The prenup caused absolutely no harm between my wife and me because we are honestly committed to each other and she has no intention of trying to take advantage of me. If anything, it brought us even closer because it reconfirmed for her that she has no intention of ever leaving me," he said.
What hurt the most for the redditor who shared her story on the AITA community was the fact that her 38-year-old fiancé went back on his word and seemingly chose his mother's side over supporting her. The couple had had a serious talk about all the possible deal-breakers in their relationship after getting engaged. For the redditor, one of the deal-breakers would have been a prenuptial agreement.
“I just think that if you're preparing for divorce before even getting married, it's a sign that you're probably marrying the wrong person. He agreed and everything was fine,” she wrote in a post in the AITA online group on Reddit, getting 21k upvotes and 2.2k comments.
However… things soon took a turn for the worse. Her fiancé’s family started suggesting that they sign a prenup more and more often. Eventually, things came to a head when the couple went to have dinner at the man’s family home. His mother put a copy of a prenup, drafted by her lawyer, in front of the redditor to sign. What a ‘lovely’ way to end dinner. Might we suggest dessert or a pot of tea next time?
The redditor kept to her guns and refused to even read the agreement. For that, she was called a gold digger. Meanwhile, her husband-to-be wasn’t able to stand up for the love of his life, choosing to let his mother take the lead.
That’s when the redditor finally snapped! She explained that she makes a whopping four times as much money as her partner does, she has her own house, and comes from a very well-off family. However, her fiancé thought that she was wrong to have emasculated him and now holds a grudge against her because his reputation within his family took a nosedive.
Most redditors thought that the woman did nothing wrong. Instead, they blamed her husband-to-be
