#1
#2
He was the drama, and it ended as soon as he left.
#3
My gf expressed this to me multiple times but I ignored it for a long time. Eventually I saw the forest for the trees and ended the friendship and kept the relationship. The drama did end.
A lot of people saying to end the relationship and keep the friendship. If the friendship is truly that, then yes it may be a control thing for your partner. But if there is more going on, a second look may be required.
More context required and each situation is different.
But before we tumble down the rabbit hole of trust issues and ultimatums, let’s zoom out and talk friendship. As in actual, wholesome friendship. The pros will tell you that a solid friendship isn’t just fun – it’s essential. I’m talking less stress, better mental health, a confidence boost, and that warm fuzzy feeling of knowing someone’s got your back.
However, when things start to get a little too friendly, that fine line between friends and romance can blur faster than a Snapchat filter. So, the age-old question still pokes us: can men and women actually be just friends? Short answer: maybe. Long answer? Still maybe.
#4
Nothing was ever going to cure her paranoia (it couldnt even be called jealousy).
#5
First it was exes that I was friendly with. Then it was co-workers and other women in my hobby (adult rec sport, like half the women were gay anyhow). Then it was family members. And it was my possessions, replaced with "our" things (that she demanded in the breakup...)
It's all about control. They want control and are compelled to try to isolate you to achieve that.
Set firm boundaries and enforce them and walk away from anyone who won't agree to them. That's the only solution. .
Fact is, there’s no solid answer. It’s basically a toss-up. Sure, plenty of people have platonic friendships, and that’s great. But if you find yourself giving more time, energy, and emotional support to your “friend” than your partner, you might be stirring a pot you didn’t even know was on the stove.
And if your significant other constantly feels like they’re competing with your so-called “bestie,” that’s a red flag flapping in the wind. Now, if you’re reading this and smugly thinking, “Well, obviously, I’d never let that happen,” just know – it’s not always crystal clear when you’re the one living it.
#6
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#8
But I do know the difference between friends that my GF would and wouldn’t care about. And I respect that boundary every time. F**k friends go bye bye, regular friends stay.
#9
I ended up trying to talk to the friend to be like “hey, the way you’re acting to my girlfriend and to me around her isn’t cool” and she responded by trying to convince me to break up with my girlfriend because she was just a jealous b***h, and that she missed how I was when I was single and it hit me like a lightbulb… oh, i get it, you just want me to be single so I can be “yours”, you’d rather that than me be happy in a couple because it means you’re more alone.
We did some digging, and it turns out that if everyone thought the way women do, platonic friendships between men and women would be way more common. But if everyone saw things through the male lens… well, let’s just say the line between friends and something more would be very blurry.
See, men and women often approach friendships a little differently. Research suggests that women usually believe that a friendship can stay purely platonic. Men? Not always. Sometimes that “just friends” thing is really “just waiting for a chance.” And while both sides tend to agree that being attracted to your friend makes things complicated, guys are a bit more likely to lean into that “complication” rather than avoid it.
#10
#11
There was never anything between me and said friend (s**t happened like 7 years later massive error of judgment) and the only reason my ex had to push the narrative was that she was a woman, and because I liked women I therefore must like her. I didn't have the back bone and lost out on one my best friends. Don't do it honestly. Cutting off friends, without an actual solid valid reason is likely just a push for control. Wether its a male or female friend.
#12
But before you toss your friendship into the bin labeled “suspicious,” consider this: Platonic friendships between men and women can thrive, especially when there are strong boundaries, clear communication, and a mutual lack of thirst. In other words, it’s not impossible, it just requires emotional maturity.
While some men who answered this Reddit post said they gladly chose their girlfriends, others stood their ground and picked their friends over the relationship. But for some unlucky folks out there, drama didn’t end with the friendship.
One guy shared how cutting off a longtime female friend wasn’t enough – his girlfriend still accused him of eyeing her friends, his neighbor, and probably his coworker too. That’s because an ultimatum to cut people off often signals control, not care.
#13
If you think your partner isn't capable of controlling their sexual urges around other people, maybe a relationship isn't a good idea. Whether it's real, or all in your mind doesn't matter. You'll never have trust.
#14
#15
I’ve done it both ways where I caved in one instance and stood my ground on the second with the same girlfriend/wife.
When she and I were just dating I had a friend she was jealous of and I agreed to stop contacting said friend. My relationship with my gf at the time improved because she was happy I chose her.
Later after we were married and our relationship was on the rocks she went through my phone and saw conversations I was having with a female friend I’ve known for 30 years. She told me to get rid of her and I said no. My marriage was already falling apart and I wasn’t going to alienate another friend.
I guess what I’m trying to say is pick and choose your battles. It’s not worth losing something with potential over a casual acquaintance. But stand firm if it’s a dear friend who has always been there for you.
Let’s be honest, ultimatums like “cut them off or lose me” rarely come from a place of love. They usually scream insecurity wrapped in manipulation. And according to the wise folks of Reddit, once that door opens, it’s hard to close. Today it’s the friend, tomorrow it’s your barista, and by next week? You’re not even allowed to look at people in commercials.
At the end of the day, choosing your partner shouldn't mean torching your social life. Real relationships are built on trust, respect, and the confidence to know your person is with you, not secretly plotting to run off with their brunch buddy. So, the next time someone drops the classic “It’s her or me,” maybe ask the better question: “Why can’t it be both?”
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#19
If it’s a fair request (it often is), then I’d say there might be other issues than that one girl that’s a problem in the relationship - so simply removing her from the equation won’t really make a difference.
#20
