Women can experience misogyny from the moment they are born, and sometimes even before that. Men do not always see or experience these inequalities firsthand, but becoming a father to a girl can make some of them much more aware of how society treats women as they grow up.
One Redditor asked men to share how their view of women changed after having a daughter, and they came through with plenty of answers. We’ve rounded up some of their responses below. Scroll down to read them and share your thoughts in the comments.
#41
I always thought young women were more mature and together. Then I got teenage daughters and...insanity.
2points
#42
Girls don't think in traditional logic sense.
Men/Boys build a system that punishes and keeps order. You can see this on a playground, they'll even do mock courts. There's a degree of leeway in which they can wiggle in and through, but they typically stick to the rules and the plan. They prefer "justice" and impartiality, and like to hammer things down as definite 1's and 0's. Either something "is," or something "isn't."
When I sat back and saw a pattern from all the girls who played on the playground on the other hand, the systems they build is completely different. They'll work together on a project in ones-or-twos. They rarely stick to anything as-defined. This makes them more flexible, but also limits the scope of the projects. They're also quick to pile on to the scope of that project, though- but mostly in a sales sense. "Yeah, it can do this thing, too!" (it's a daisy chain. Suddenly it fights crime, too, because they want for it to be able to. The boys will just stop and start building something new to tackle that particular task- again, almost entirely "punishment and enforcement" centric.)
Neither of these seems better than the other, just very different. I did daycare for a few years in varying program aspects, then ran a children's nonprofit.
Men/Boys build a system that punishes and keeps order. You can see this on a playground, they'll even do mock courts. There's a degree of leeway in which they can wiggle in and through, but they typically stick to the rules and the plan. They prefer "justice" and impartiality, and like to hammer things down as definite 1's and 0's. Either something "is," or something "isn't."
When I sat back and saw a pattern from all the girls who played on the playground on the other hand, the systems they build is completely different. They'll work together on a project in ones-or-twos. They rarely stick to anything as-defined. This makes them more flexible, but also limits the scope of the projects. They're also quick to pile on to the scope of that project, though- but mostly in a sales sense. "Yeah, it can do this thing, too!" (it's a daisy chain. Suddenly it fights crime, too, because they want for it to be able to. The boys will just stop and start building something new to tackle that particular task- again, almost entirely "punishment and enforcement" centric.)
Neither of these seems better than the other, just very different. I did daycare for a few years in varying program aspects, then ran a children's nonprofit.
2points
#43
I have daughters from age 25 done to 6. I don’t think my view of women has changed because of them but because of the aging factor and becoming mature as well as the progression of time and social standards. It’s been much the same way my views of many things have changed over the years as I’ve broadened my experience in life and expanded my views on things such as politics, immigration, universal health care etc,etc...
In contrast, my views on teenage boys haven’t changed at all, I know exactly what they have in mind when they knock on the door, and I understand that and don’t blame them for it, I’ve taught my daughters to make good decisions in life and leave the choices they make up to them.
In contrast, my views on teenage boys haven’t changed at all, I know exactly what they have in mind when they knock on the door, and I understand that and don’t blame them for it, I’ve taught my daughters to make good decisions in life and leave the choices they make up to them.
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2points
#44
My husband says that since having a daughter, he has discovered that he is very uncomfortable with the way most women are viewed/treated in the Marine Corps. He frequently mentions that he is now actively trying to effect change because this is not the type of Corps he wants his daughter to join in 15-18 years. He also makes a point of being publicly “unaffected” by participating in typically female activities... wearing a tiara at Disneyland/tea parties/wearing pink socks that she picked out.
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2points
#46
Immensely, anytime I date a woman I treat her with respect way more than I did before I had a daughter. Being a dad now with a daughter changed my viewpoint exponentially for the positive.
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2points
#47
Oh man I feel so guilty after manhandling a woman now. Like that's someone's daughter.
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1point
#48
I have a 9 year old daughter. I actually think women might be more manipulative and cunning than I originally anticipated.
My daughter and her friends practice crying in front of each other.
My daughter and her friends practice crying in front of each other.
0points
#49
Their desire to fit in and be part of a popular social group is exhausting. Every day is this person at school did this this person said that, I'm not friends with this person now. That and the relentless texting it drives me mad.
I never went through this either we had to group for sports or someone had a console game that needed two players, that was it no drama.
I never went through this either we had to group for sports or someone had a console game that needed two players, that was it no drama.
0points
#50
I always knew that I needed to protect my heart when I was in any type of relationship with a woman. I knew that I was vulnerable so I guarded my heart. When my only daughter was born I completely forgot that rule. How could this tiny, adorable little girl possibly be any kind of a threat to me? By the time I figgered out that I should have guarded my heart it was way too late to do anything but surrender. I not only love her I admire her but she does own my heart so I'm probably not a good resource to question.
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0points
#51
No, my view hasn't changed.
I have twin daughters, and always said that if I had kids I would prefer to have girls, since girls seem to stay in touch better with their parents throughout their lives.
I was raised by two parents, with a strong mom. I've always been interested in smart women, who don't mind being bold. My best friends throughout life have been a mix of males and females.
I used to describe myself as a feminist, but being stomped upon by people on the internet has made me tone that down.
That aside, I still enjoy all types of humour, including crude jokes about men, women, etc. I was told that my sense of humour would change after the girls were born, but it hasn't. It's just giving me more material.
I have twin daughters, and always said that if I had kids I would prefer to have girls, since girls seem to stay in touch better with their parents throughout their lives.
I was raised by two parents, with a strong mom. I've always been interested in smart women, who don't mind being bold. My best friends throughout life have been a mix of males and females.
I used to describe myself as a feminist, but being stomped upon by people on the internet has made me tone that down.
That aside, I still enjoy all types of humour, including crude jokes about men, women, etc. I was told that my sense of humour would change after the girls were born, but it hasn't. It's just giving me more material.
0points
#52
I have 3 girls, no boys. I always thought having to put the toilet seat down was nonsense, like, sure but you have to put it up too. Ive been beaten into submission though, my mind has been somewhat changed by the argument of peeing in the night, not being able to see a toilet good enough.. Still, sometimes ill just close both lids, if i have to adjust the seat every time then so do you. It's not my fault yall sit without looking
TLDR: kinda but no, not really.
TLDR: kinda but no, not really.
-1point
#53
It’s honestly helped me. I realized that my wife was born this way, and therefore I shouldn’t expect her to change. I’m much more comfortable which her being emotional and have stopped trying to WIN emotional arguments with logic.
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-1point
#54
Before I had my daughters, I was big on nurture vs nature. All the “gender is something we learn”, that there’s no innate difference between girls and boys. Girls are just as likely to like trucks as boys are if you let them, etc. etc.
I tried it, it didn’t really work out.
When my son was born, I couldn’t help but notice the difference between them, even at just one or two years old.
Boys are boys and girls are girls. They don’t arrive as blank slates.
I tried it, it didn’t really work out.
When my son was born, I couldn’t help but notice the difference between them, even at just one or two years old.
Boys are boys and girls are girls. They don’t arrive as blank slates.
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-1point
#55
My sis is 16 years younger than me.
I learned that almost all women like validation on how they look. So, to my girl friends and my sister and almost any female, I try to observe and try to say something positive about them. Everyone has a positive quality and if you're courteous it can brighten someone's day, even if it's somethibg just like "hey, great shoes!". That means a lot, that you notice those little things.
I learned that almost all women like validation on how they look. So, to my girl friends and my sister and almost any female, I try to observe and try to say something positive about them. Everyone has a positive quality and if you're courteous it can brighten someone's day, even if it's somethibg just like "hey, great shoes!". That means a lot, that you notice those little things.
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-2points