#1
So all weekend I was doing every last thing, getting the nursery ready, re-arranging furniture for better flow with a crawling baby, and finally hanging two ceiling fans. Anyone who has hung ceiling fans knows that while one person can theoretically do it, you really need two people. Well I did them both by myself.
With both of them hung I had to tap out. I was totally out of gas, and thankfully my wife said that was ok. She was pissed I wanted to stop, but understood.
Then this pain that I had in my stomach area kinda got worse. Like it started as a cramp and then all of a sudden its the worse pain imaginable. Like I can't breath from the pain in my sides and stomach, and there is no body position that makes it better.
So I go the hospital. After 5 hours in the ER they tell me it could be a bunch of stuff, but they don't run the imaging lab on Sunday nights at 11pm. So I go home with a mitt full of d***s and an appointment for an ultrasound the next day.
The next morning the area is really sore and I have two attacks within an hour of being awake, so I decide to not go to work and keep my ultrasound appointment. My wife coincidentally had an appointment at the hospital related to her pregnancy.
At 1pm, I'm messaging her because they've just told me I need my appendix removed because its about to burst.
My wife found me and said that her tests showed a rare condition that means she'll need an emergency C-Section.
So we cried from the stress, and she went home to get ready for her surgery the next day.
I had my appendix removed at 8pm that night, and my wife had a c-section at 8am the next day. Thankfully I was only two floors away, so I was able to walk down there and be there for my son's birth.
Not how we wanted to start parenthood, but we all made it and we're doing great.
#2
Go directly to doghouse. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200..
#3
A few years ago, a thread appeared on AskReddit asking, "Fathers, what are some dumb things you have done while your wife was pregnant?" Interestingly, the topic starter addressed to men, but among the nearly thousand comments in the thread, there are many stories told by women.
Perhaps some dads were ashamed or afraid to open up about some weird or even gross deeds, or perhaps they were simply acting on a subconscious level - but the fact remains. Of the nearly forty stories in our selection today, almost half are told by moms. However, that doesn't make the list any less interesting to read, just believe me.
#4
#5
I get stuck, two doctors and a team of staff are trying to get me out. Dad alternates vomiting aggressively in a bucket and stroking my Mums hair.
I pop out, I'm alive and fine. I'm put in my Dad's arms as they work on my Mum. My Dad throws up on me.
My Dad threw up on me at my birth.
#6
My husband laughs to himself and announces "thar she rolls.".
In fact, men also experience stress when their partners give birth - though, of course, it's impossible to compare the level of distress. But the fact remains - and that's definitely true. At the very least, every man understands that, no matter how prepared he is to take responsibility for his family, little actually depends on him here.
So it's no surprise that even the most rational, cool-headed, and calm men, with nerves forged from beryllium bronze, begin to fuss at the most crucial moment, making illogical decisions and strange remarks. Life simply didn't prepare them for this - and yes, partners’ second and further pregnancies and births usually become more routine for them.
#7
An hour later he calls me and says, “I’ve looked in the candy section AND the dairy section. I cannot find the cocoa butter!” He sounded frustrated and tired, but I just did this ugly laugh cry thing.
I explained to him, between sons of laughter, that it was a LOTION. I was laughing because it was so funny, and crying because my stomach was itching like crazy and I needed relief.
Edit: SOBS of laughter.
#8
#9
For example, when my wife was in the maternity hospital on bed rest during her first pregnancy (she had a truly difficult pregnancy), I visited her after work every day for almost four months. And each day after leaving the building, I just as invariably went to the nearest McDonald's and bought two ice cream cones. For each of my future daughters.
No, I knew perfectly well that it looked strange and ridiculous, and that it all resembled obsessive-compulsive disorder - but ultimately, it helped me maintain some sanity. Now my wife and I look back on it with irony (and she jokes that I was simply giving in to my inner sweet tooth, nothing more).
#10
#11
#12
My mom was 9 cm dilated.
Well, yes, our youngest son's birth took place during the COVID-19 pandemic, so I wasn't allowed into the delivery room, and I spent the entire night in the car outside the maternity hospital, talking to my wife on the phone. From time to time, I sang songs and told her jokes - because it helped her relax a bit.
I'd shut up on demand, but a couple of minutes later she'd say, "Sing again!" And I started singing again... And you know what, we reminisce it all again with warmth - because, after all, it's for these strange moments that we live, right?
So don't be surprised if one of the parents-to-be (or already-been) in our collection of stories behaved incredibly strangely. After all, under extreme conditions, people very often do unexpected and strange things.
#13
Couple of weeks into pregnancy, my wife told me she wants some olives. She could really have some olives. Not thinking twice, I grabbed a full jar (16ish oz) of olives and gave it to her. We continued merrily watching some movie and life was simple. About an hour later, my movie watching experience is being promptly ruined by my lovely wife projectile vomit what seemed to be a bucket load of half ingested olives across our bedroom. Of course, it was all my fault for letting her do that to herself.
#14
I get home from work at 6:30 in the morning, take the daughter to school. Come home lie down in bed, my wife turns to me and says..."I think today might be the day" I go to sleep for maybe ten to twenty minutes. She says OMG my water broke. I tell her to get out of the bed so it isn't like totally wet.
On the way to the hospital, remember I had just worked three twelve hour shifts. I turn to my wife and say "Do you mind if I stop at McDonalds?"
Suffice it to say I got a Sausage Egg and Cheese McMuffin.
But, I still hear about it regularly!
#15
In fact, researchers acknowledge that the process of pregnancy and childbirth can be truly traumatic for many fathers. For example, the authors of this study, published at BMC in 2017, note that the speed and unpredictability of events make childbirth a true rollercoaster of emotions for men. Husbands often mirror their partners' distress, so they, too, need emotional support, the authors claim.
Some scientists do believe that such strange behaviors are common in men due to so-called Couvade syndrome - when men experience the same emotions and even sometimes eating disorders as pregnant women.
"Sometimes referred to as a sympathetic pregnancy, Couvade syndrome is caused by the anxiety some men feel when faced with the idea of becoming a father," this article at Naitre et Grandir says.
According to the article, in the US, between 25 and 52 percent of all dads experience this syndrome in some way or another - especially those with their first child. So it's not surprising that a significant part of our tales here are about first-time dads.
#16
Friend of mine flew out to Switzerland to visit us and go snowboarding. Babies arrived the same day he did. Had to cancel the trip. I felt pretty bad, but he understood/had no choice.
But this is tame compared to the many friends I have that traveled abroad and missed the birth of their kids because they came early.
#17
#18
One day, after working a night shift, I decided "Hey, I could actually go for a Snickers" so I grabbed one, noticed there were still 4 left, and enjoyed it. From the screaming and resulting fight I'm sure the neighbors thought she had just caught me with a gaggle of hookers and blow. Nope, just one less Snickers in the drawer.
Be that as it may, the birth of a child is not only a great stress for both parents but also a test for the family and the emotional bonds within the couple. And an additional factor that cements the bonds between them for the future.
So now please feel free to read all these stories, both funny and touching, heart-melting and ridiculous, and maybe add your own ones in the comments below - in case you have something to say on the topic.
#19
#20
