Have you ever noticed how painstaking it is building up a reputation as it takes months if not years, but even the tiniest of mishaps will destroy it in an instant? Well, maybe it’s for the best because some impressions need to be ruined.
Folks on Reddit have been sharing the fastest way someone has ruined their opinion of them—and it genuinely felt like progress in life at that point.
#1
Was at a ballgame for a birthday with some work friends I’d known for years, the kind of guys that a certain amount of my future job success depended upon (one manager, one assoc director). I’d been at this company five years, and by this point it was listed by Forbes as one of the top ten mid-sized companies to work for in the entire US
One of them sat down and started talking about how he’d felt the a*s of the woman sitting in front of us a few minutes before. She hadn’t responded well, so then he went on to describe how it wasn’t that good anyway.
I had this moment where everything in my head went quiet. Like an almost out of body experience. I could see my credibility with these guys, built up over years, hang in the balance against my self-respect and character. I took a really hard swallow, then proceeded to berate this guy VERY loudly and tell him he should apologize. Everyone went dead quiet, then pretended like nothing had happened. The rest of the day went on like normal.
Never got invited out again. Two of them went on to direct sun-divisions of their departments as a part of an old-boy’s in-crowd. I left the company a year later.
I regret nothing.
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225points
#2
Matched with a lady on tinder. I always go to the let's get coffee as soon as possible to filter out the women who just like to chat endlessly.
To my surprise, she says yes. Could of days later we meet to outside of the coffee shop, we walk in, and she says, " Ew, I don't want coffee from this place, I don't care for the people serving the coffee."
I ask, "oh, you know them?" She responds, "no, but I know their type." "What do you mean, their type?" , thinking maybe she didn't like hipsters.
"Well black people are always gross and dirty, and I don't want to have them serving me." I look at her, and she's really hot, and kind of dressed sl**ty. So most of the time a guy will allow a certain amount of WTF in a girl like that.
But no, I just say I don't think this will work, and then block her as I'm walking away. I think our total in person interaction was like less than 5 minutes, maybe less than 2. I don't date racists. I didn't tolerate racists. No amount of hot on the outside will overcome that ugly on the inside.
Thanks for reminding me of that girl. I had forgotten about that experience. .
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219points
So, folks on AskReddit have recently been talking about the fastest ways someone has ruined their opinion of them.
While the analytics are modest, clocking in at 1,800 upvotes and comments each, the stories people were telling sounded more of a blessing than a curse.
#4
Dated a woman a while back, we were talking on the phone as she was driving home. She pulled into a fast food place to get something, and I got an earful of her treating the employees there like s**t.
How you treat people you don't necessarily have to be nice to says a lot about you. I hung up on her and never spoke to her again.
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159points
#5
A girl I was seeing casually called my former roommate a racial slur while I was driving the two of us to dinner
I pulled over, dropped her off on a street corner, then went and got dinner on my own.
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155points
#6
Picked me up for a date, got on the highway, and revved it up to drive over 100 mph, weaving in between cars. I was terrified, tears in my eyes, asking him to slow down and he laughed. It was so f*****g scary, I can’t even explain it. Literally thought I was going to die, he was going *so fast*, well over 100 mph, and just weaving between cars. Just terrifying.
I took a taxi home and never saw him again. I’d had a crush on him for like 2 years at that point. I never wanted to see him again.
153points
From racism to tantrums to flat out rudeness—the thread had it all. Much of it dealt with treating people, specifically hospitality, restaurant and retail workers. Before that, most of these people were in good standing, chill, good at banter, heck some were even dating. Well, they got too comfortable for their own good and ruined it all by being just the worst.
#7
Being a complete b***h to servers at a restaurant. I don't care how hot you are. Treating service workers poorly and with entitlement is such a turn off.
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143points
#8
A girl I was dating screamed at her mom. We were about to get down to business (sex), when her mother called. I could hear both sides of the convo. Her mom wanted to know if my girlfriend had accidentally taken her mother's house keys the last time she was staying over at their place. Girlfriend says no, annoyed, without hesitation. Mom asks if she could just check her purse when she had a moment because she couldn't find them anywhere. Girlfriend erupts out of nowhere screaming at her mom, accusing her mom of accusing her, which wasn't what was happening. She hangs up on her mom, who I hear audibly sobbing. Girlfriend then checks her purse and finds the lost keys. Instead of calling her mom, she calls her dad, tells him to come get them on the condition that he doesn't say where he found them. I could barely stand to be in the same room as her after that.
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141points
#9
I met some (now former) coworkers out for dinner one night, and after the first round of drinks, one of them's husband showed up to join us. I had met him a few times before and had always thought he was a nice enough dude. Laid back, good conversation, chill.
He ordered lemon pepper wings, and the server brought out ones that had dark red sauce on them, so clearly not the correct flavor. No big deal, right? Well this guy acted like the server had spit in his face or something. He made a huge stink, demanded the manager, and was being so loud that half the restaurant was looking at our table. It was incredibly embarrassing.
His wife, my coworker, just sat there rubbing his back and saying "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry" to him while he had his tantrum, like he had just watched his dog die or something. It totally put me off both of them. She was not invited to any subsequent dinner meetups. No one wanted to risk that happening again.
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121points
As mentioned previously, reputation is pretty fragile. It doesn’t take much to make something crash and burn, though building it is a much more arduous process.
So, it’s best to first of all start by protecting a reputation before it crumbles by not saying or doing something regretful in the first place.
#10
Her: "Once I was fighting with my boyfriend and I punched him multiple times in the arm."
Me: "What? That's not nice."
Her: "No, no, it was fine, I felt better afterwards!"
Me: "What? That's not nice."
Her: "No, no, it was fine, I felt better afterwards!"
I had no words. It soured my view of her in an instant.
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109points
#11
I was pretty good pals with this one dude at work. Good banter, chill as can be and all that. But then I heard him talk about his girlfriend for the first time and how she does nothing around the house and how she's typical for a modern woman because she doesn't do chores. I instantly understood why all the women at work hated his guts, and from that point on I did, too.
And to add on to this, he also said therapy is for weak-minded people. I went to therapy for five years and it helped me deal with so many things that felt overwhelming before. Thankfully he no longer works there and our workplace is better for it.
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108points
#12
I got a friend hired at the restaurant I work at. Anyone in that industry knows that “Christmas bonuses” aren’t really a thing but I’m lucky enough to work for a small business that gives one out every year. She got hers after only working there for a couple months, opens the envelope and says “that’s it??”
I just found it so distasteful that she scoffed at free money she didn’t even have to work for and wasn’t entitled to. How ungrateful can you be.
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108points
If trouble does strike, however, the best thing is to admit the mistake and rebuild. So, first seek out the truth and figure out what you have done to deserve the hate. Identify whether you’re truly in the wrong and were you fairly blamed? Find out why people reacted the way they did. Discuss it with friends or coworkers and brace yourself to make things right. Verbatim.
#13
Had a really good friend from early adulthood. We met when we were 19. We went on a vacation together when we were 30. While there, we met a French woman who was there for a destination wedding. We chatted for a bit in French before I retired to our AirBnB. I'm married so I wasn't looking for hookups or anything. I wake up in the night to go to the bathroom and walk in on them half-undressed on the couch. I say, "Pardonnez-moi" and start walking to the bathroom. She, very drunkenly says, "Wait, your friend speaks French?" I stopped, turned to my friend, and said, "Dude, if she's too drunk to remember talking to me in French an hour ago she's too drunk to consent." I helped her get her things and we walked her drunk a*s home. Definitely changed my opinion of him, and we split up for the rest of the trip.
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102points
#14
I met a girl in college and we became friends. I felt sorry for her that she didn't have any friends and was kind of awkward, because I'd been in those shoes too, so I introduced her to my friend circle and things were cool. Then, she calmly informed me that all of them were creeps and p*dos. I asked her what the f**k she meant by that, and she told me that they must be, because they were adults (keep in mind, we were all sophomores in college) who liked comics and cosplay, so they *had* to be creeps. I turned the car around and brought her right back to her dorm, and immediately told my friends. The irony of it was, *she* was, and still is, a decade later, *obsessed* with a certain YA series.
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93points
#15
I'm often welcoming to new employees at the company I work for on trips, just to be hospitable. I had a coworker who was the new guy at the time suggest we go get some hookers while on a work trip. He had already creeped out several female coworkers with staring and inappropriate comments and then he dropped that on me.
I could never look at him the same way and he ended up not lasting long at the company, thankfully. It was weird and I'd never experienced anything like that before or since.
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86points
Once you know what you’re up against, start rebuilding. Limiting damage as soon as possible is a good start. But alongside that, form an action plan and start executing it. Admit your mistakes and work towards making sure they don’t happen again—get a mentor or anyone really to keep you accountable with this change. It will also have to be visible in order for folks to start changing their mind about you.
#17
Was having dinner out with some friends and one girl who I was on the fence about. At the end of the meal, one of them began cleaning the trash out of her purse and piling it on our dirty dishes. I asked why she was doing that, and she said “It’s the waitstaff’s job to clean up after me.” Technically it is, but it’s NOT their job to clean up your personal trash.
My opinion of her became decidedly negative after that!
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84points
#18
I was hanging out with friends once and got introduced to a friend of a friend and within minutes this dude was talking about how nice it is to get a break from his annoying wife lmao like brother I have barely known you for five mins and you're telling me what a b***h your wife is? Off the get go I knew this guy was an a*****e.
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81points
If you do end up mending your reputation, make sure it lasts this time around. For one, try not to stumble into the same pitfall as last time by avoiding previous behaviors and rhetoric. And if it’s a habit, have someone keep you accountable.
It might take time for someone to let it go or to see that you’re, at the very least, trying to make amends. So, give it that.
#19
“Just cuz there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score” aaaand you’re gross. Cheating is pathetic. You were cute but nvm thanks.
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78points
#20
This happened to a friend. In 1973, my friend, who was a teenager and a huge Knicks fan, actually went to the airport to meet the Knicks’ plane and try to get some autographs. My friend is an Orthodox Jew and was wearing his kippah. The plane came in and my friend was jumping up, calling out the players’ and waving his autograph book. One player actually came over and was going to take my friend’s pen to sign when he spotted the kippah. He dropped the pen and said “I don’t do s**t for Jews.”.
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76points