The first day at a new job can be extremely overwhelming. Remembering names, learning protocol, trying to keep up with a new, fast-paced environment and maintaining your cool while simultaneously convincing your boss and yourself that you’ll be able to juggle all of your new responsibilities is a lot.
But not everyone can handle the pressure of starting a new job, and unfortunately, some people manage to lose their positions just as quickly as they earned them. Redditors have recently been sharing stories of the fastest ways people have ever been fired, so we’ve gathered some of their most shocking and entertaining anecdotes below. Enjoy reading through and feeling grateful that you’ve managed to hold down a job, and be sure to upvote the stories you can’t believe actually happened!
#41
I work at a local grocery store and one day we had a new hire in the bakery department. Her first day comes around and she no-called and no-showed for her first day…then a few days later comes in and shops like nothing happened 💀
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63points
#42
Was caught stealing money out of the register in the first hour of him even touching the damn thing.
On a related note, had another co-worker get fired for the same thing within the last two hours of his final shift.
$50 in small bills and loose coins really brings out the worst in some people.
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62points
#43
A mate many years ago started a part time job at pizza hut. First customer he took a pizza out to asked for him to be sacked and he was. To be fair to the customer, my mate had a string of cheese all the way from the pizza dish to his chin. He thought no-one would notice one slice of pepperoni missing. He was wrong.
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62points
#44
I work with special needs individuals. A coworker of mine who had started 3 days prior got fired for getting into a fistfight…with one of the special needs individuals.
62points
#45
The guy responsible for opening the shop on Saturday morning went out and got blitzed on Friday night. We showed up to work to find his car in the lot but the doors locked. He didn't answer his phone. Had to call the owner in to get us inside.
Guy was fast asleep, under his desk.
He was gone before you could say hangover.
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61points
#46
I worked at the head office of a well known retailer. One day we had a temp on the reception desk and no one realised that the bottle of water on her desk was, well...not water.
As the day went on the tannoy announcements got worse, just stumbling through names and slurring. Needless to say everyone thought this was funny, not realising that she was bladdered and not just c**p at the job.
Come the end of the day though, she gets into her car and attempts to drive out of the car park, bouncing off cars and eventually coming to a halt on a grass verge.
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61points
#47
Got yelled at for being late. Said some insane s**t to the boss over it, got sent to talk with HR, threatened HR with his gun, then the police showed up and I never saw him again.
You'll never guess what career he really wanted, but got 'scammed out of'.
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56points
#48
I watched a guy at a really high end restraunt bring out a steam ship round roast beef for a huge brunch celebration. He was trying to set it up and dropped it on the floor. We all saw. As did his manager. He set it right back up and started cutting. She ran his a*s outta there in minutes.
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55points
#49
Dude showed up to his first day after taking acid. Told the boss his acid kicked in.
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53points
#50
I was told this tale by my boss at the time.
A guy is hired as a federal government contractor, and after a lengthy approval process, he is finally cleared to start working. The guy is really excited and shows up to the government building 2-3 hours early. Neither his boss nor his co-workers have arrived yet, so he goes to the cafeteria, grabs a coffee and the day's paper, and sits down to read it while waiting.
This early in the day, there are very few contractor staff around, it's mostly government workers. One of them walks into the cafeteria with a colleague, talking about how lazy contractor staff are, and they don't deserve the salaries they are paid. He immediately spots the new guy, seemingly relaxing and reading the paper when he should be working, and completely loses his mind, screaming at the new guy and threatening to have him fired immediately. This wasn't an empty threat, because the government guy actually had the authority to follow through on his threat.
The new guy didn't get a chance to explain himself and was immediately ordered to go to security and wait for his boss. The boss finally comes in to meet a very pissed-off customer and a very bewildered new guy. After many calls and emergency meetings, they explained things to the government guy and got him to calm down. However, he refused to back down on having the new guy fired (I guess he didn't want to lose face) and to keep him happy, they had to let the guy go.
So, the new guy was fired before he even started.
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40points