Coming to terms with one’s s*xuality is rarely a simple journey, especially for people living in the public eye.
For some men, that realization happened years after they had already built lives with wives, children, and families.
Their decisions to come out often led to difficult conversations, heartbreak, and major life changes, but many also spoke about the relief that came with finally living honestly.
From television stars and musicians to reality TV personalities, their stories showed how complicated and personal self-discovery can be.
Here are six famous men who came out as gay after being in long-term relationships or marriages with women.
#1 Peter Allen
Australian singer-songwriter Peter Allen was married to Liza Minnelli when she discovered he was gay in a moment that would later become one of the most talked-about chapters of both their lives.
Allen and Minnelli met through her mother, Judy Garland, fell in love, and married in 1967.
According to Minnelli, she believed they had a happy marriage and an active relationship. That changed when she unexpectedly returned home one day and found Allen in bed with another man.
In her memoir Kids, Wait Till You Hear This!, Minnelli recalled walking into their apartment and finding Allen having “passionate s*x” with a man.
“My mind was spinning,” she wrote. “This was a betrayal of our marital intimacy, our deepest trust in each other, and at first I couldn’t process it.”
After the other man left, Minnelli said Allen came to her and the two broke down in tears together. It was then that he finally told her the truth.
“He felt terrible and told me for the first time, ‘Liza, I love you more than anyone in the world and I’m gay,’” she wrote.
Minnelli later revealed that Allen explained he genuinely loved her but had been struggling with feelings he could not change.
“He said he had tried desperately to be monogamous, but his feelings for men would not go away,” she recalled. “It was a fact of his life and now mine.”
Despite the painful revelation, Minnelli said the discovery did not immediately destroy their bond. “We still felt enormous love for each other,” she wrote. “Neither of us wanted the marriage to end.”
The couple eventually divorced in 1974, but they remained close and continued to respect one another.
Reflecting on the experience years later, Minnelli told The Advocate, “I married Peter, and he didn't tell me he was gay. Everyone knew but me.”
Allen later entered a long-term relationship with model Gregory Connell. He passed away in 1992 at the age of 48 from AIDS-related complications, while Minnelli has continued to speak warmly about the love they shared despite the heartbreak that ended their marriage.
Allen and Minnelli met through her mother, Judy Garland, fell in love, and married in 1967.
According to Minnelli, she believed they had a happy marriage and an active relationship. That changed when she unexpectedly returned home one day and found Allen in bed with another man.
In her memoir Kids, Wait Till You Hear This!, Minnelli recalled walking into their apartment and finding Allen having “passionate s*x” with a man.
“My mind was spinning,” she wrote. “This was a betrayal of our marital intimacy, our deepest trust in each other, and at first I couldn’t process it.”
After the other man left, Minnelli said Allen came to her and the two broke down in tears together. It was then that he finally told her the truth.
“He felt terrible and told me for the first time, ‘Liza, I love you more than anyone in the world and I’m gay,’” she wrote.
Minnelli later revealed that Allen explained he genuinely loved her but had been struggling with feelings he could not change.
“He said he had tried desperately to be monogamous, but his feelings for men would not go away,” she recalled. “It was a fact of his life and now mine.”
Despite the painful revelation, Minnelli said the discovery did not immediately destroy their bond. “We still felt enormous love for each other,” she wrote. “Neither of us wanted the marriage to end.”
The couple eventually divorced in 1974, but they remained close and continued to respect one another.
Reflecting on the experience years later, Minnelli told The Advocate, “I married Peter, and he didn't tell me he was gay. Everyone knew but me.”
Allen later entered a long-term relationship with model Gregory Connell. He passed away in 1992 at the age of 48 from AIDS-related complications, while Minnelli has continued to speak warmly about the love they shared despite the heartbreak that ended their marriage.
10points
#2 Michael Stipe
R.E.M. frontman Michael Stipe has a slightly different story from others on the list.
While he was never married to a woman, he spent years in high-profile relationships with women, including author A.M. Homes, before publicly discussing his s*xuality during the height of the band’s fame.
In 1994, with R.E.M. at the peak of its success following the release of Out of Time and Automatic for the People, Stipe decided to speak openly about his se*xuality.
During the promotional cycle for Monster, he revealed that he had been attracted to both men and women throughout his adult life.
“I said simply that I had enjoyed s*x with men and women my entire adult life,” Stipe later recalled. “It was a simple fact, and I’m happy I announced it.”
At the time, public figures rarely spoke openly about their s*xuality, particularly in the rock world.
Stipe said coming out brought a sense of relief.
“My band, my family, and my friends had my back, as they always had,” he wrote through The Guardian. “It was a great relief.”
Years later, he pushed back against the idea that he had been hiding who he was.
“I was never closeted,” he told Billboard in 2019. “You can never find a single picture of me pretending to have a girlfriend or being somebody that I’m not.”
Stipe explained that his decision to speak publicly was largely about honesty and privacy.
“Part of being myself was me speaking publicly about my s*xuality for the first time,” he told NME in 2019. “It reached a point where that was ridiculous and I decided to speak publicly about it.”
Looking back, he remains proud of the decision.
“These 20 years of publicly speaking my truth have made me a better and easier person to be around,” he wrote. “I am proud to be who I am, and I am happy to have shared that with the world.”
While he was never married to a woman, he spent years in high-profile relationships with women, including author A.M. Homes, before publicly discussing his s*xuality during the height of the band’s fame.
In 1994, with R.E.M. at the peak of its success following the release of Out of Time and Automatic for the People, Stipe decided to speak openly about his se*xuality.
During the promotional cycle for Monster, he revealed that he had been attracted to both men and women throughout his adult life.
“I said simply that I had enjoyed s*x with men and women my entire adult life,” Stipe later recalled. “It was a simple fact, and I’m happy I announced it.”
At the time, public figures rarely spoke openly about their s*xuality, particularly in the rock world.
Stipe said coming out brought a sense of relief.
“My band, my family, and my friends had my back, as they always had,” he wrote through The Guardian. “It was a great relief.”
Years later, he pushed back against the idea that he had been hiding who he was.
“I was never closeted,” he told Billboard in 2019. “You can never find a single picture of me pretending to have a girlfriend or being somebody that I’m not.”
Stipe explained that his decision to speak publicly was largely about honesty and privacy.
“Part of being myself was me speaking publicly about my s*xuality for the first time,” he told NME in 2019. “It reached a point where that was ridiculous and I decided to speak publicly about it.”
Looking back, he remains proud of the decision.
“These 20 years of publicly speaking my truth have made me a better and easier person to be around,” he wrote. “I am proud to be who I am, and I am happy to have shared that with the world.”
6points
#3 Duncan James
Blue singer Duncan James spent years trying to maintain the image of a straight boy-band heartthrob while privately struggling with his s*xuality.
During that period, he was in relationships with women, including Claire Grainger, with whom he shares a daughter, Tianie.
In 2009, James publicly came out as bis*xual, though he later said he identified as gay. Looking back, he admitted that the pressure of living a double life became increasingly difficult.
“I think being in such a public boy band, with the majority of fans being female, it was really hard for me to actually have the courage to come out,” he said. “I was scared on so many different levels.”
James revealed that during Blue’s peak years, rumors often linked him to famous women, including Geri Halliwell, Martine McCutcheon, and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson.
Rather than correcting them, he found comfort in the speculation because it helped hide his s*xuality.
“I remember when I was in Blue the first time around, there were all these rumours I was dating my friends Geri, Martine and Tara and I used to feel relieved,” he recalled.
Even after coming out as bise*ual, James said it took years before he fully accepted himself.
He later admitted that he often felt like a fraud while performing at Pride events because he was still hiding part of who he was.
“I was playing Pride with Blue and feeling such a hypocrite because everyone was celebrating their s*xuality and I was still in the closet,” he said.
Ovee time, James became more comfortable publicly identifying as a gay man. In 2019, he shared a photo with his boyfriend Rodrigo Reis and reflected on how much his life had changed.
“I didn't identify as a gay man for many years because of my own issues with coming out, but finally I'm happy in my skin,” he wrote. “This guy next to me makes me proud to be gay.”
Today, James credits Rodrigo and his support system for helping him fully embrace his identity. Reflecting on the journey, he said, “After years of feeling guilty about my s*xuality, I am happy at last.”
During that period, he was in relationships with women, including Claire Grainger, with whom he shares a daughter, Tianie.
In 2009, James publicly came out as bis*xual, though he later said he identified as gay. Looking back, he admitted that the pressure of living a double life became increasingly difficult.
“I think being in such a public boy band, with the majority of fans being female, it was really hard for me to actually have the courage to come out,” he said. “I was scared on so many different levels.”
James revealed that during Blue’s peak years, rumors often linked him to famous women, including Geri Halliwell, Martine McCutcheon, and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson.
Rather than correcting them, he found comfort in the speculation because it helped hide his s*xuality.
“I remember when I was in Blue the first time around, there were all these rumours I was dating my friends Geri, Martine and Tara and I used to feel relieved,” he recalled.
Even after coming out as bise*ual, James said it took years before he fully accepted himself.
He later admitted that he often felt like a fraud while performing at Pride events because he was still hiding part of who he was.
“I was playing Pride with Blue and feeling such a hypocrite because everyone was celebrating their s*xuality and I was still in the closet,” he said.
Ovee time, James became more comfortable publicly identifying as a gay man. In 2019, he shared a photo with his boyfriend Rodrigo Reis and reflected on how much his life had changed.
“I didn't identify as a gay man for many years because of my own issues with coming out, but finally I'm happy in my skin,” he wrote. “This guy next to me makes me proud to be gay.”
Today, James credits Rodrigo and his support system for helping him fully embrace his identity. Reflecting on the journey, he said, “After years of feeling guilty about my s*xuality, I am happy at last.”
Report
5points
#4 Caleb Shomo
Beartooth frontman Caleb Shomo came out as gay in May 2026 after being married to his wife, Fleur Shomo, for nearly 14 years.
The musician, who married Fleur in April 2012, said he decided to speak publicly after growing speculation about his personal life.
In a lengthy Instagram statement, Caleb wrote, “There’s been a lot of speculation surrounding my personal life as of late and I feel compelled to set the record straight before it affects those I love any further. I am a proudly gay man.”
The 33-year-old explained that accepting his s*xuality had been a long and difficult journey.
He revealed that he had spent years struggling with feelings he did not fully understand and often buried them through a*cohol.
“I spent a decade burying feelings with al*ohol,” he wrote, adding that getting sober helped him begin exploring his identity and eventually reconcile with his s*xuality.
Shomo also connected his personal struggles to the themes that have appeared throughout Beartooth’s music, including depression, self-hatred, hopelessness, and his religious upbringing.
Looking ahead, he promised that his future music would reflect a more honest version of himself.
“I will only do what makes me happy at the deepest level and what is the most honest depiction of who I am,” he said.
His announcement also marked the end of his marriage.
In a separate statement, Fleur described the previous months as “a very disorienting and hurtful time to navigate.”
Despite her heartbreak, she expressed support for her former husband, writing, “I will always want to love, protect and support Caleb.”
She also reflected on their relationship, saying, “Our nearly 14 years of marriage was wonderful and full of so much fun, adventure & love.”
Caleb ended his message by encouraging others struggling with their identity to be patient with themselves, writing, “Holding these things in only hurts you and those around you. Love you all, and hopefully this is a step in the right direction to loving myself one day.”
The musician, who married Fleur in April 2012, said he decided to speak publicly after growing speculation about his personal life.
In a lengthy Instagram statement, Caleb wrote, “There’s been a lot of speculation surrounding my personal life as of late and I feel compelled to set the record straight before it affects those I love any further. I am a proudly gay man.”
The 33-year-old explained that accepting his s*xuality had been a long and difficult journey.
He revealed that he had spent years struggling with feelings he did not fully understand and often buried them through a*cohol.
“I spent a decade burying feelings with al*ohol,” he wrote, adding that getting sober helped him begin exploring his identity and eventually reconcile with his s*xuality.
Shomo also connected his personal struggles to the themes that have appeared throughout Beartooth’s music, including depression, self-hatred, hopelessness, and his religious upbringing.
Looking ahead, he promised that his future music would reflect a more honest version of himself.
“I will only do what makes me happy at the deepest level and what is the most honest depiction of who I am,” he said.
His announcement also marked the end of his marriage.
In a separate statement, Fleur described the previous months as “a very disorienting and hurtful time to navigate.”
Despite her heartbreak, she expressed support for her former husband, writing, “I will always want to love, protect and support Caleb.”
She also reflected on their relationship, saying, “Our nearly 14 years of marriage was wonderful and full of so much fun, adventure & love.”
Caleb ended his message by encouraging others struggling with their identity to be patient with themselves, writing, “Holding these things in only hurts you and those around you. Love you all, and hopefully this is a step in the right direction to loving myself one day.”
Report
2points
#5 Colton Underwood
Before coming out publicly, Underwood’s entire public image was built around finding a wife.
The former NFL player first appeared on The Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise before becoming the lead of The Bachelor in 2019, where he chose Cassie Randolph as his final pick.
Although the couple did not get engaged on the show, they continued dating after filming ended.
Their relationship lasted for more than a year before they announced their split in 2020.
In April 2021, Underwood came out as gay during an emotional interview with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America.
“I've ran from myself for a long time. I've hated myself for a long time,” he said. “And I'm gay.”
The reality star revealed that he had known he was different since childhood and spent years trying to suppress those feelings.
Growing up in a religious environment and later playing football also made it difficult for him to accept his s*xuality.
“I learned in the Bible that gay is a sin,” he said. Looking back, he added, “No wonder I held it in.”
Underwood later acknowledged that he knew he was gay during his time on The Bachelor and while he was dating Randolph.
He said he genuinely loved her but was not being honest with himself about who he was.
The COVID-19 pandemic became a turning point.
“It forced people to look at themselves in the mirror and figure out who they are and what they've been running from,” he explained.
Since coming out, Underwood has built a new chapter of his life.
In 2023, he married political strategist Jordan C. Brown, and the couple welcomed their son, Bishop, in 2024.
Reflecting on his life today, Underwood said, “I love the fact that I'm a gay dad. I want to show people and normalize the conversation around what that looks like.”
The former NFL player first appeared on The Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise before becoming the lead of The Bachelor in 2019, where he chose Cassie Randolph as his final pick.
Although the couple did not get engaged on the show, they continued dating after filming ended.
Their relationship lasted for more than a year before they announced their split in 2020.
In April 2021, Underwood came out as gay during an emotional interview with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America.
“I've ran from myself for a long time. I've hated myself for a long time,” he said. “And I'm gay.”
The reality star revealed that he had known he was different since childhood and spent years trying to suppress those feelings.
Growing up in a religious environment and later playing football also made it difficult for him to accept his s*xuality.
“I learned in the Bible that gay is a sin,” he said. Looking back, he added, “No wonder I held it in.”
Underwood later acknowledged that he knew he was gay during his time on The Bachelor and while he was dating Randolph.
He said he genuinely loved her but was not being honest with himself about who he was.
The COVID-19 pandemic became a turning point.
“It forced people to look at themselves in the mirror and figure out who they are and what they've been running from,” he explained.
Since coming out, Underwood has built a new chapter of his life.
In 2023, he married political strategist Jordan C. Brown, and the couple welcomed their son, Bishop, in 2024.
Reflecting on his life today, Underwood said, “I love the fact that I'm a gay dad. I want to show people and normalize the conversation around what that looks like.”
2points
#6 Phillip Schofield
British television presenter Phillip Schofield publicly came out as gay in February 2020 after nearly 27 years of marriage to his wife, Stephanie Lowe.
The longtime This Morning host shared the news in an emotional Instagram statement, revealing that questions about his s*xuality had been consuming him for years.
“With the strength and support of my wife and my daughters, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am gay,” Schofield wrote. He and Stephanie married in 1993 and share two daughters, Molly and Ruby.
In his statement, Schofield spoke openly about the internal struggle he had been facing.
“There have been some very dark moments,” he admitted. “Today, quite rightly, being gay is a reason to celebrate and be proud. Yes, I am feeling pain and confusion, but that comes only from the hurt that I am causing to my family.”
He further praised Stephanie for standing by him throughout the process, calling her “the kindest soul I have ever met.”
In an interview with The Sun in 2020, he revealed that he had experienced same-s*x attraction long before his marriage but pushed those feelings aside because he was happy with the life they had built together.
“Whatever was there, I thought: OK, whatever this is, you stay back because I am happy,” he said.
Schofield also explained that living honestly had become increasingly important to him. “I was getting to the point where I knew I wasn't honest with myself. I was getting to the point where I didn't like myself very much because I wasn't being honest with myself.”
The announcement was met with widespread support from colleagues, friends, and viewers. His daughters publicly stood by him, with Molly writing, “Love you always, so proud of you.”
While Schofield said he was not ready to begin a relationship with a man, he emphasized that his family would remain close. “We will always be a family,” he said. “That is the one definite, constant, absolute positive thing.”
The longtime This Morning host shared the news in an emotional Instagram statement, revealing that questions about his s*xuality had been consuming him for years.
“With the strength and support of my wife and my daughters, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am gay,” Schofield wrote. He and Stephanie married in 1993 and share two daughters, Molly and Ruby.
In his statement, Schofield spoke openly about the internal struggle he had been facing.
“There have been some very dark moments,” he admitted. “Today, quite rightly, being gay is a reason to celebrate and be proud. Yes, I am feeling pain and confusion, but that comes only from the hurt that I am causing to my family.”
He further praised Stephanie for standing by him throughout the process, calling her “the kindest soul I have ever met.”
In an interview with The Sun in 2020, he revealed that he had experienced same-s*x attraction long before his marriage but pushed those feelings aside because he was happy with the life they had built together.
“Whatever was there, I thought: OK, whatever this is, you stay back because I am happy,” he said.
Schofield also explained that living honestly had become increasingly important to him. “I was getting to the point where I knew I wasn't honest with myself. I was getting to the point where I didn't like myself very much because I wasn't being honest with myself.”
The announcement was met with widespread support from colleagues, friends, and viewers. His daughters publicly stood by him, with Molly writing, “Love you always, so proud of you.”
While Schofield said he was not ready to begin a relationship with a man, he emphasized that his family would remain close. “We will always be a family,” he said. “That is the one definite, constant, absolute positive thing.”
-1point