30 Things Immature People Think Are "Signs Of Maturity"

To learn more about the idea of maturity, we reached out to Modern Therapist's clinician Vanessa Frazer, LCSW. Modern Therapy is a group mental health practice that offers online talk therapy, coaching, mental health courses, and business services, and Vanessa works there exclusively as a talk therapist. When asked what maturity means to her, she told Bored Panda, “Maturity means being physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually developed. This occurs over the course of one’s lifetime and requires a high level of self-awareness,” Vanessa explained. “Mental, emotional and spiritual maturity is an ongoing process that requires an open mind & a willingness to learn. It involves engaging in a state of deep reflection to understand who you are. We need to continually grow and evolve in all areas of our life in order to gain true maturity.”

We also asked Vanessa about things that are often falsely perceived as maturity. “Society often dictates what maturity means, in the sense of accomplishing adult goals,” she said. “Therefore, people often falsely equate completing high school or college, becoming established in a career, getting married, having children and becoming financially stable as signs of maturity. Although these are accomplishments to be celebrated, they do not equal maturity.”

“I always believed that once we hit a certain age, life falls into place & maturity soon follows. What I’ve realized is that age has nothing to do with maturity,” Vanessa shared. "Your own self-awareness, confidence, sound decision making skills, judgment and ability to examine your own inner self is what leads to maturity and growth.”

“People tend to assume that achieving a level of success or behaving in a certain manner is a sign of maturity. This is not necessarily true,” Vanessa went on to say. “Achieving success is an accomplishment, but does not indicate that someone is mentally or emotionally mature. It’s possible that a CEO of a very successful company is immature in nature, but has figured out a way to climb the proverbial ladder to obtain success."

"This can be confusing because the CEO is financially successful, however emotionally, mentally & spiritually they may be lacking," Vanessa noted. "It’s important to remember that career success does not equate to maturity. Real maturity is defined by your relationship with yourself & others, your capacity and willingness to grow and ability to examine yourself to make positive personal changes.”

We also asked Vanessa how people can become more mature without feeling pressured to do the things society perceives as mature. "In order to become more mature, the best thing that anyone can do is learn who they are as a human," Vanessa told Bored Panda. "Find your identity and embrace it! Learn to love yourself so you can share your love with others. Identify your strengths and weaknesses and then use your strengths to your advantage. Learn to be independent but also acknowledge that at certain times in life, you will need help. Become your biggest advocate and act assertively to ensure that your needs are met."

"Don’t give in to peer pressure, and be aware that social media is a fake reality that you should not compare yourself to. Engage in healthy relationships with boundaries and effective communication skills. Be open to constructive feedback and view it as an opportunity to grow. Learn to understand your emotional triggers so you can process and express feelings in a healthy manner. It’s important to take accountability for yourself, acknowledge mistakes and learn from them. Most of all, live authentically and be true to yourself and maturity will follow."

If you would like to gain more wisdom from Vanessa or any of the team at Modern Therapy, be sure to visit their website right here.

We also reached out to author and blogger Hanan Parvez to hear his thoughts on this topic. Hanan has a MA in Psychology, and explores a wide range of topics on his site PsychMechanics. When asked what maturity means to him, he shared, “Maturity is behaving in an age-appropriate manner. Maturity comes down to being socially smart in the society you find yourself in. That consists of conforming to social norms to some degree,” he explained. “When you behave in ways your society considers mature, you are mature.” He also noted that most societies consider responsibility and wisdom to be mature.

When asked about things that are often mistaken for maturity, Hanan told Bored Panda that there’s not a lot of gray are on the topic. “I don't believe you can falsely see anything as maturity. You're either socially smart, or you're not. Some behaviors are universally seen as mature, and other behaviors are widely seen as immature.”

Hanan does not necessarily agree with all of the responses on this list. “There are good reasons why society equates certain behaviors (getting a job, getting married, having kids, etc.) to maturity,” Hanan explained. “Careers, relationships, and having kids come with a lot of responsibility. These things can potentially turn anyone into a significantly better human being. That's ultimately what society wants: You becoming better so you can make others better. You becoming a valuable member of society. I'd go as far as to say that wanting to act maturely is what drives human progress,” Hanan added.

“Developmental and evolutionary theories in psychology tell us that there are different needs that we ought to be meeting at different life stages,” he told Bored Panda. “If you're in your 20s and 30s and ought to be fulfilling the need for intimacy but are doing what children do, your psyche is bound to be distressed.”

We then asked Hanan how people can manage actually becoming more mature without feeling pressured to do the things that society perceives as mature. “It's hard,” he says. “If you're not going to take much responsibility in life, why be mature? Why bother? Why improve yourself? You can only improve yourself for yourself so much.”

“When you improve yourself for others, your self-improvement can skyrocket. Hang out with people who're wiser and more responsible than you. You'll learn maturity by osmosis. Or simply take up more responsibility,” Hanan added.

“It's interesting how aggressive people can get when deciding what's mature and what's not. Aggression is often a sign of underlying frustration,” he noted. “For instance, they'll do a childish thing and call it mature while bashing others who do another childish thing. Thankfully, you don't get to choose your brand of maturity. Society has already drafted the rules for that.”

If you’d like to hear more from Hanan, be sure to check out his blog PsychMechanics right here. 

What do you consider mature? We hope you enjoy reading through this list and that you’ll keep an open mind as you make your way through it. You might realize that some of these actions are often done by very immature people and that you’re not required to check any of these things off your to-do list to be considered mature. Keep upvoting the responses that resonate with you, and then feel free to share your own thoughts on the topic in the comments. What makes a mature panda? I would love to know!