Sometimes, when telling a story, we might feel the urge to embellish it a little. This could be because we want to make our story more colorful and interesting, or we want to appear better.
But there are much deeper reasons as well.
A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that people frequently exaggerate routine experiences out of a strong desire for social connection and validation.
Unless you’re a literal saint, you’ve definitely lied before — even if it was just texting “on my way” while still sitting on the couch in your sweatpants.
Research shows the average person tells one or two small lies every single day. But what happens when that everyday habit collides with smartphones and social media?
Dr. Jeff Hancock, founder of the Stanford Social Media Lab, points out that lying online comes down to personal goals.
“When you consider a person’s goals — the technology, much like deception itself, simply becomes a tool for accomplishing those goals,” he says.
Research by Dr. Michelle Wright and colleagues revealed that people fabricate or stretch stories on social media mainly to boost their perceived popularity and win approval from others.
It is also a classic attention-seeking behavior, often driven by an unmet emotional need for recognition and status.
“The most common way that people transform boring stories into interesting stories is by exaggerating. Most people consider exaggerations to be lies because they intentionally mislead others to believe events occurred in a way they did not,” says Holly Cole, an assistant professor at Wesleyan College in Macon, Georgia.
It is no secret that the online world thrives on sensationalism, and drama attracts attention. And this endless drive to stand out in this overcrowded space makes it so very tempting to transform an ordinary story into a cinematic masterpiece. However, in addition to the algorithms, the digital medium allows us to twist facts and lie in ways we can never afford in reality.
For one thing, social media networks are engineered to promote exaggeration and distortion. Likes, shares, and reposts provide immediate and tangible feedback.
Then there is the shield of anonymity. When people post under screen names or in public forums, there are virtually no reputation costs if the story turns out to be fake.
Lying is also easier behind a screen than it is in real life.
In a face-to-face conversation, you have to improvise on the spot. Your body language, eye contact, and tone of voice are all on display, and any hesitation can give you away.
Online, communication is asynchronous. You get all the time in the world to draft, edit, and polish a tall tale before posting it. You can carefully construct the perfect retort and sculpt the narrative in your favor.
A little embellishment can definitely make a story fun, but outrageous lies usually backfire. For example, if a friend catches you in a huge lie, they’ll stop trusting what you say altogether.
Research by Professor Cole found that storytellers have to hit a “Goldilocks zone.” A slight exaggeration can boost your social status and make people like you more. But if you cross into obvious, full-blown fake stories, you’ll instantly damage your relationships.
“Our research suggests that the value of a story may not lie in the specific details it provides but rather in the quality of the story being told. Telling a boring story reaps little social benefits, but good stories create a connection between the storyteller and the listener,” Cole said.
