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Some of us manage our anger well. And some of us really don’t. It all comes down to emotional regulation. And sometimes, our current mood or the way our day is going, or not going, can play a part in whether we want to roll our eyes at something, or punch the wall in a fit of rage. Not advised.
Anger is a completely normal, human emotion. We are meant to feel it, in healthy doses. Lest we bottle everything up and one day explode like a pressure cooker. It's how you manage the infuriating moments that matters. Not controlling your anger can cause destruction that'll have a negative impact on your daily life, personal relationships, work, mental health and general wellbeing.
There's a whole lot happening in our bodies when we get mildly annoyed or highly p*ssed off. According to the American Psychological Association, just like other emotions, anger is accompanied by physiological and biological changes. When your blood boils, so to speak, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
Dr Jerry Deffenbacher is a psychologist who specializes in anger management. The expert says some people are more “hotheaded” than others are. Basically, they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does.
Think about how different people react to someone cutting in front of them in traffic. One might shrug it off and turn the soothing music up. Another might fly into a fit of rage and jump out of their car wielding a baseball bat.
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"People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance," notes the APA site. "They can’t take things in stride, and they’re particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake." Here's looking at you, Karen.
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On the other end, there are those who don't have big angry outbursts, but rather live their lives chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don’t always curse and throw things, says Deffenbacher. Sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or even get physically ill.
You tolerance to highly infuriating situations might be genetic. The APA notes that previous research has revealed that some babies are "born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age."
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The way we are brought up, or who and what we are exposed to can also play a part. Some of us are taught that anger is is negative and we shouldn't express it. We therefore don't learn to channel our anger properly.
Others learn that it's okay to show your emotions. Whether they be anger, sadness, or pure joy. And they also learn to regulate their emotions so that they don't have big outbursts.
The APA's site reveals that people who are easily angered often come from families that are "disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications."
