Some people manage to get a divorce and still keep in touch and be friendly. But many of them can’t even face each other without being at one another’s throats. It gets especially messy when kids are involved because parents have to decide which one of them has their custody and when the other parent will get time to spend time with them.
But there is something even worse than fighting over custody: when one of the parents willingly signs out of their children’s lives. This was the case for Reddit user Winter_Apple_6053 who divorced her husband and got full custody of her children because the dad just didn’t want to parent anymore, but made it seem to everyone that his ex-wife took his children away from him.
More info: Reddit
Woman exposed her ex-husband to his mom about not wanting to care for his children and people keep telling her that she shouldn't have done it
Image credits: Simóca & Annus (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) is a 45-year-old mom who just divorced her husband. They started dating when she was 15 and married not long after when she turned 16. Many people were surprised she got married so young, so in several responses to comments, the woman explained that she got pregnant and her Christian parents kind of forced the couple to get married; however, they didn’t have that child as they chose an abortion.
Later, she stayed with her husband because apparently he was loving and caring, so there was no reason to get a divorce. They were together for 30 years and have two children: a 5-year-old son and a 12-year-old daughter.
The woman had been with her husband almost for 30 years and had two children together, but their marriage came to an end
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
There weren't any drama or scandals; on the contrary, even the custody question was solved very quickly as the dad didn't to have any rights to his kids
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
For reasons untold in the story, the couple got a divorce. It was going smoothly and when it came to talking about the children’s custody, it was even easier, legally speaking, because the dad refused any rights to his children.
The mom didn’t argue with that and wasn’t planning on forcing him into his children’s lives when he didn’t want to as she had the experience of having a parent who didn't care about her.
The man didn’t even try to pretend that he had a valid reason for such a decision and just told her he was done with parenting altogether.
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
That is why the OP was so confused when her ex-MIL told her that he was heartbroken about not being able to see his children
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
According to Erlich Law Office, in more than half of custody cases, both parents agree that the mother should be the custodial parent. 27 percent of fathers don’t have any contact with their children at all and 51 percent meet their children once a week or even less frequently.
However, more men are becoming single fathers. For example, in 1960, only 8 percent of households in the US were headed by a single father, and in 2011, the number was 25 percent.
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
As the ex-MIL didn't believe it when the OP said that not seeing his kids was his decision, she called him and put it on speaker
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
The father in this story is one of those 27 percent of men who aren't involved in their children’s lives. That is why the OP was really surprised when she heard from her ex-mother-in-law, Denise, about how distraught the man was at not being able to see his children. She claimed that her son was crying about it and he thought she was a horrible person for taking full custody of them. Winter_Apple_6053 was confused because there were no indications of this before that and her ex-husband had never tried to contact her to discuss the matter.
Denise didn’t believe the OP’s words as she couldn’t imagine her son saying such things about his own children. So the mom found a simple solution–to call her ex-husband and have a conversation about seeing his children while the phone was on speaker for the MIL to hear.
He confirmed everything the OP had just said without knowing that his mom was listening to their conversation
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
The OP invited the dad to see his son’s soccer match and added that he would be happy to see him. The man immediately declined and reminded her that they'd already discussed this. So Winter_Apple_6053 brought up birthdays and holidays as maybe his family would like to spend time with the children.
It seems that the man had convinced his family that the children aren’t even his and told his ex-wife about this, which is not true, as explained by the OP in the comments. She supposes that he told his family that so that she wouldn’t want to contact the family.
The OP didn’t give up and suggested that, knowing that his mom really loved her grandchildren, maybe she still would want to stay in contact. The ex-husband was confident that his mom loved him more than her grandchildren and for him, that meant that there’s no need to bring it up again.
The man was kicked out of his house and treated with silence from his family, possibly even taken off his mom's will
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
The ex-mother-in-law didn’t show her emotions to the OP and promised to get in touch later. The next thing Winter_Apple_6053 knows is that her ex-husband was kicked out of his parents' house because of what he said to her over the phone.
Not only was he kicked out of his parents' home, but other relatives also were not on speaking terms with him. On top of that, he will probably be taken off his mom’s will, so he was really mad and let the OP know that.
Now the OP worries she ruined her ex-husband's life so she wonders if she shouldn't have said anything even if he made her look bad
Image credits: Winter_Apple_6053
Image credits: Tracy (not the actual photo)
The ex-husband’s friends keep telling Winter_Apple_6053 what a horrible person she is for saying anything to his mom and that because of her, his whole family hates him. Even her own friend thinks the OP shouldn’t have said anything because it brought such serious consequences.
So the OP started to think that maybe she should have stayed silent, but redditors are convinced she did the right thing. The OP’s ex-husband manipulated his family into thinking she was a bad person and she only defended herself and didn’t even need to do anything–the man did the talking for her himself.
Redditors came to OP's defense and thought that she just revealed the truth and cleared her name, which is fair
