Toxic Masculinity May Be Well-Known To You, But Here Are 35 Different Forms Of Toxic Femininity

“Individuals raised in families and cultures where these rigid norms are perpetuated often internalize these restrictive values and power structures, role modeling, and blueprints learned from an early age,” one of Canada’s leading clinical psychologists Dr. Monica Vermani, C. Psych, author of A Deeper Wellness and TEDX speaker, shared with Bored Panda.

“When young girls, from an early age, are raised to dress, look, act, and respond in ways that are pleasing to others, when they learn to derive their sense of self-worth from others, and from superficial, materialistic, and highly polished — often impossible — beauty standards, this sets girls and women up for a lifetime of self-scrutiny, feelings of low self-worth, lack of self-actualization, and a life of serving others at the cost of finding value and meaning in their own lives.”

Dr. Monica Vermani, C. Psych. says that the media is a huge contributor to perpetuating toxic — and impossible to live up to — stereotypes of women. “Stereotypes — of the perfect body, the swift post-partum bounce-back, the perfect mother, the loving, long-suffering wife, the dutiful daughter, the cookie-baking, care-taking grandmother.”

Also, through the media, women are objectified, told they are not good enough, and pressured to act, look, and strive to please the men in their lives, to spend their time and energy striving to attain and maintain standards of behavior and appearance, not for themselves, but to please others. 

She notes that well-behaved women, that is to say, women who model behaviors like agreeableness, passivity, and a focus on pleasing others while subjugating their own needs and deriving a sense of self through their value as an object of desire to men, are celebrated and rewarded. 

“Furthermore, many social media influencers send powerful reminders of impossible beauty standards through their relentless creation of content that supports the impossible beauty standards for women, including unboxing fast fashion hauls and makeup tutorials, and commentary on the latest trends in fashion for women,” Dr. Monica adds.

Finally, when we internalize the rigid constructs of toxic femininity, we do it in order to conform, fit in and please others.

“As humans, we are social animals! We are highly motivated to be accepted, to fit in, and do so often without much thought or self-examination. We are hard-wired to seek connection with others. When the way we seek connection is dictated by toxic gender-specific norms, this is often how we engage,” says Dr. Monica.

She adds that unchallenged toxic views about how the world functions and how men and women should adhere to strict and confining gender-specific norms, behaviors, and standards are points that some people believe are worthless, just as an unexamined life is not worth living. Both men and women can start to understand their right to live their lives on their terms and enable themselves to live their lives on their own terms by questioning patriarchal conventions.

So, guys, just as toxic masculinity can be harmful to everyone — including the toxic male — for women and men alike, toxic femininity is both self-destructive and limiting. And what would you say is an example of toxic femininity that you notice in everyday life?