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There are more than one or two threads on the Internet dedicated to such situations, and every time I read people's revelations about these seemingly ordinary — but no less offensive — cases, I feel uneasy. I just realize that something similar has happened to me. And, well, and by the way, to each of you, I think — regardless of how incredibly successful you actually are.
#4
It's nice, but it's also hurtful.
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Small edit: Since i have a lot of people who think Im just a whiny a*****e. Let me clear this up. Im not saying my friends uninvited me with Malice. They just wanted room for someone else. So the easiest way was to drop me from the trip. Thats why I feel like the last to be picked. Because to them I was just a filler friend.
Some experience something similar in friendship, or at work with their bosses and colleagues — and some even understand that their relationships were actually formed using to this very sad principle. These realizations come in literally one unexpected moment, leaving us at a loss, and breaking through any emotional armor that many adults create for themselves.
In fact, despite long centuries of social improvement and development, people often remain very cynical and unceremoniously practical. And it's precisely the realization that, for example, they are friends with us not because we are so cool and interesting to talk to, but because they want something from us — that is incredibly painful.
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Especially when the whole group is heading out to lunch and you're sitting at your desk and they're either totally unaware of you at all - or worse - someone makes eye contact by accident and then is like "Oh, uh, do you want to come?".
#9
Take your consolatory offer to buy me a drink and shove it, Brad.
"Let's try to look at it from the other side," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. "Yes, this feeling can be very offensive, but it means, however, that your eyes are opening to the real state of things. This veil of hypocrisy on the part of others is dispelled.
"In the end, being in the dark all your life about who you really are and how people around you treat you is also not very good. After all, unlike a school gym class, where you only have one option to change the situation - start training hard, here there are other options."
#10
That happened to my wife. She's not usually hyper sensitive socially but she cried all the way home after that.
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"You can change not only yourself, your soft skills, but also your environment. Find people who will appreciate you for the set of qualities that you have here and now — and not pretend. Yes, this is sometimes way more difficult than adapting to the surrounding world, but this is also an option. Available precisely in adulthood. Although, the older we get, the more difficult it's to do," Irina Matveeva ponders.
To what extent we are ready to change ourselves or our environment is another question. We are often just happy to deceive ourselves, or accept everything as it goes. Call it "worldly wisdom." Be that as it may, everyone chooses for themselves...
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In fact, we sincerely believe that you will be interested in reading this selection of stories from netizens, comparing them with your own experience and, perhaps, sharing your personal tales in the comments below. Also, how you dealt with these feelings — and maybe, who knows, the sympathetic people in the comments will help you cope. In the end, hope is actually what stays with us until the very end.
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The bonus is when they end up in a relationship with someone in 2 weeks after you parted ways.
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