Divorce can be a messy and painful process, especially if there’s an affair involved. Betrayed partners have to wade their way through the legal system on top of all the other upheaval, all while doing their best to keep their kids out of it.
One woman who divorced her husband for cheating is now having to put up with him demanding she treat his new kids as she would her own. She told him there’s no way that’s ever going to happen but still turned to the internet to ask if that was a jerk move.
More info: Reddit
Life after a devastating divorce is difficult enough, but this woman’s ex is intent on making it even tougher
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
He’s started a new family and now expects her to treat his new kids as if they were her own
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
He complained that when her parents saw him, his new wife, and all the kids in public, they only hugged their bio grandkids
Image credits: volodymyr-t / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Incensed, she told him straight up that his newest children mean nothing to her and her extended family
Image credits: SweepBridgeEdge
Now her ex is texting her constantly, telling her how wrong it is, so she’s turned to netizens to ask if her reaction to his request makes her a jerk
After a brutal divorce filled with emotional violence and betrayal, OP kept things civil, if only for the sake of the kids. Her ex admitted to cheating and crushed any hope of a friendly split, but she never spoke badly about him to their kids and kept their shared parenting structured and respectful from her side.
As the years passed, OP’s ex tried to pretend everything was fine. He acted buddy-buddy and even invited her and her extended family to the baby shower. However, after everything he said and did, her family wanted nothing to do with him - or his new life.
Things came to a head during a school meeting. Her ex complained that her family hugged only their biological grandkids in public while ignoring his other kids. He claimed they were “all one family now.” That’s when she snapped.
OP told him the truth: his new kids are nothing to her. Not out of cruelty, but because he destroyed any chance at a blended, peaceful connection. She reminded him that being co-parents doesn’t mean pretending they’re one big happy family - it means handling what’s necessary for the kids.
Now he’s blowing up her phone, saying she’s cold and that the kids are picking up on the distance. She’s choosing silence for now but is asking the online community if it was wrong to speak so bluntly, or if her reaction was the honest boundary-setting this situation desperately needed.
It seems OP's ex expects her to conveniently forget all the trauma he inflicted and just be the bigger person. So, what’s the best way for her to deal with his emotional manipulation? We went looking for answers.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In her article for VeryWellMind, Wendy Wisner writes that some people seem to thrive on drama and manipulation. According to Wisner, getting others to respond to their toxic behaviors often leads to more of the same, which is why sometimes, refusing to engage with them is an effective way to protect your energy and well-being.
The gray rock method, aka gray rocking, is a strategy you can use to manage toxic, threatening, or manipulative behavior. This approach involves deliberately disengaging so that the narcissist loses interest - you're effectively cutting off their "narcissistic supply" while creating a strong boundary.
In her article for PsychCentral, Jenna Fletcher writes that gray rocking someone can make them feel bored, frustrated, angry, or confused.
According to Fletcher, when they don’t get the desired reaction, they might try different approaches to get you to respond. For example, they might create a crisis to draw support from you, treat you nicely so you let your guard down, or attempt to escalate the situation.
Considering what OP tells her readers, she seems to have a pretty good handle on gray rocking as it is. Her entitled ex needs to grow up and make amends for the past or quit his whining.
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think her jerk husband’s demands are in any way fair, or is he barking up the wrong tree? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, the vast majority of readers concluded that the woman was definitely not a jerk and that her ex must be hopelessly delusional
