FunnyAPR 22, 2021

How To Call Someone Stupid In A Smart Way: 30 Clever Jabs

Robertas Lisickis, Damanjeet Sethi and Mantas Narkevičius

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Ever wondered how to call someone stupid in a smart way so that you don’t step on any toes? We’ve all been there, faced with moments where roasting someone’s intellect seems like the only plausible response. But let’s be honest, calling someone outright stupid won’t make you the life of the party.

What you need are some intelligent insults—the smart way to suggest someone might need an intellectual boost. We’re not advocating for mean-spiritedness, but some situations demand hilarious comebacks and great insults. But make sure to balance your fancy insults with wit and charm so they don’t cause any emotional bruises.

A Reddit user u/lientubay asked the world, “What’s the best euphemism for telling people that they’re stupid?” Over 60,000 people had apparently pondered the same question, and the thread skyrocketed. People from all around the world shared various ways of how to insult someone politely by using both modern ingenuity and old folk proverbs.

So finally, instead of awkwardly using the same insult over and over again, like “so is your face,” you’ll have a list of things to say when encountering a stupid person. What a tough world for us—intelligent people—this is. Thanks for making our life bearable, Reddit!

Now, scroll down below to learn how to tell someone they’re dumb in a smart way. Got any intelligent insults of your own? Share them with us in the comments.

More Info: Reddit

#1 Brains on the run, as always

In russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".

humphr1es, terren in Virginia

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478points

#2 Agree to Disagree, but Wrong Anyway

I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong

captainawesome1983, ResoluteSupportMedia

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360points

#3 IQ’s on vacation today

Sharp as a marble, that one.

randolotapus, James Samsonow

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350points

What Are Some Idioms for Calling Someone Dumb?

Every once in a while, someone has a less-than-genius moment. These idioms are designed for those times when you want to nudge someone’s intellect with a wink rather than calling them “dumb” and hurting their feelings.

There are several playful expressions around the world that people often use as funny ways to call someone stupid. Hence, if you’re seeking fancy ways to call someone dumb, here are some of our favorites:

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
The elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
One sandwich short of a picnic.
A few cards short of a full deck.
All foam, no beer.

However, there are more fancy words and ‘nicer’ ways to say stupid:

Dunderheaded
Anserine
Addlepated
Blinkard
Obtuse
Nescient

And, of course, let’s not forget the word ‘unintelligent,’ which might be the only politically correct word for stupid! These intelligent insults will let you question someone’s brainpower without ruffling feathers. But make sure to use them only with friends who appreciate a bit of humor.

#4 Brain Cells Throwing Shade

One of my personal favorites:

"They only got two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place."

NostalgicPotat0, Wikimedia Commons

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334points

#5 Master of Following Directions (Not)

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

dusty-kat, supafly

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271points

#6 Classic savage truth right there

Ahh yes, “it’s better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt”. A classic.

MidnytStorme

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262points

How Do You Tell Someone Off in a Classy Way?

Ok, now let’s look at it from another perspective. What if you are at the receiving end of these insults? This is your time to show that you indeed have a high IQ by giving a sassy retort to someone who insults you.

Instead of going full-blown confrontational, opt for a more refined approach that gets your point across. With the right words, you can crush your opponents with some of the best insults.

To stay classy, highlight their positive qualities before adding your deprecating remark. Or you could ask them to repeat and explain the insult, saying you didn’t understand it. This will encourage reflection.

Remember, timing is everything if you want to appear confident and classy with your clever comebacks. Flip the script of the original comment and watch your opponent turn red. Maintain eye contact, stand tall, and let your body language convey the same confidence as your words.

We leave you with the best insult we’ve ever heard. It’s from the TV show Madmen.

Michael Ginsberg: “I feel sorry for you.”

Don Draper: “I don’t think of you at all.”

Mic drop!

Now, continue scrolling below to brush up on funny ways to call someone stupid.