#1
In the morning when they woke me up to kick me out and I asked what I was [spiked] with so I could file a police report, I was informed that they didn’t bother with a tox screen or even a basic test to check my BAC. As drunk as they thought I was, alcohol poisoning should have been a major concern but they literally didn’t care enough to do the most basic due diligence.
If you've ever felt like your doctor, or another medical service provider, isn't taking you seriously, there's a good chance it's not all in your head. In fact, it's more common than you might think, and there's even a term for it: medical gaslighting.
The Cleveland Clinic defines medical gaslighting as when a healthcare provider’s behavior makes you feel unheard, unimportant, or unwelcome. It may even get to the point where you question whether your symptoms are real.
Anyone can fall victim to medical gaslighting, but research shows that women and people who already face barriers in the healthcare system are most at risk.
“It’s often a side effect of the physician not being well-versed in the background of their patient,” explains Ohio-based psychologist Dr. Chivonna Childs. “Historical stereotypes may not be blatant anymore, but their undercurrents still exist. And implicit bias can impact the care you get.”
#2
She [passed away] on the waiting room floor hours later, at 38 years old. Massive heart attack.
#3
Medical gaslighting is not always intentional.
"The health care provider might have poor communication skills, or have limited time to speak with a patient, or not be medically knowledgeable enough to know what to do," says Dr. Jonathan M. Marron, a physician and director of clinical ethics at the Harvard Medical School Center for Bioethics.
Because many of us trust our doctors, it may not be easy to recognize when they are gaslighting us. But experts say there are a few red flags to look out for...
#4
The third and fourth times were actually in the same day. It wasn’t until I was screaming I was going to [pass away] that they were fed up with me and sent me in an ambulance to another place. They checked me at the new hospital and I went in for surgery. My last ovary had- you guessed it- twisted on itself and they couldn’t save it in time. Went into surgical menopause before the age of 40 due to that. I’m still not over it.
#5
#6
The first red flag is if your health practitioner diagnoses you without a thorough examination. Another is if they dismiss or downplay the importance of your symptoms, or refuse to address certain topics or concerns. They might also make assumptions about you, tell you your symptoms are “all in your head,” shame or blame you for your condition, or make rude or condescending comments about you.
Talking over you or ignoring you altogether is another bad sign, as is a doctor ignoring your requests for tests or referrals without giving a valid reason. Lastly, if they try to talk you out of getting a second opinion, medical gaslighting could be at play.
#7
#8
His GP who sent him rang to ask how he was going, my mum said he hadn't even been seen. GP called the emergency dept and went off. He finally got seen maybe an hour later. He eventually got admitted, diagnosed with a terminal illness and [passed away] just over a week later. He never left the hospital.
The worst part is that the nurses were laughing about him and how his GP called to put up a stink a few weeks later. We know a nurse who works there, she heard them and told them to shut up and that he actually [passed away]. She went off at them.
My mum wishes she put in a formal complaint at the time but she was just to overcome with grief to do anything.
#9
We only waited for about 10 minutes before they wheeled me back. Different wheelchair, lol.
Anyway, I had a perferation in my large intestine. I was slowly dying in the US hospital, but the Canadians saved my life. My insurance refused to cover it, so I was out about 4 grand. Best money I've ever spent.
One way to avoid being medically gaslit is to arm yourself with as much information as possible and to go to your doctor's appointment fully prepared. Dr. Marron suggests taking a few things along with you.
One is a journal tracking the symptoms you've been having, and another is a short list of questions for the clinician. He also says you should prepare a brief and precise expression of your medical concerns, and as a backup, take a friend who can support you, take notes, and observe your interaction with the clinician.
#10
#11
#12
Dr. Childs agrees. “We only hear a fraction of what our providers say to us,” says the expert. “If we’re nervous, upset, it’s bad news, or you need surgery, it helps to have somebody else there to hear what the doctor is saying and pick up any pieces you may have missed.”
She stresses that helping you is your provider’s job. So if they don’t discuss a treatment option with you, ask why. If you need a translator, request one. If they ask you to sign a consent form, read it first. And if you’re uncomfortable, say so.
"Don't leave without understanding the big-picture plan and next steps," adds Dr. Marron.
#13
When I got back to the ED the neurosurgery team was waiting for me. The spinal compression was so severe I needed surgery.
#14
#15
If you feel like you've been the victim of medical gaslighting, trust your gut. Firstly, don't be afraid to get a second opinion, and if you want to take it even further, you can contact the ombudsman.
"An ombudsman is like a professional mediator who works at a hospital. If you’re unsatisfied with the care you receive at a hospital, it’s their job to help you," explains the Cleveland Clinic site, adding that if there isn’t an ombudsman at your medical facility, you can ask to speak with the manager of the practice or a patient services representative.
“If you make a complaint, they’ll address it with the doctor and try to resolve the situation,” says Dr. Childs.
#16
#17
It was Sunday, My husband freaked out that I needed to go to the ER NOW. Apparently his mom had spent a week in the hospital with catscratch fever before.
My finger was painful and rapidly swelling (although its a small area so compared to like a big bleedling wound it didn't look like much).
Urgent care was closed, so I went to the inner city ER on a Sunday evening for a little tiny pinprick on my finger.
The triage nurse laughed at me, the intake nurse laughed at me, the nurse in my room laughed at me. I herd two people in the hallway asking if I was "the one with the finger" and laughed.
The doctor came in and told me I absolutely did the right thing to come in, that it looked nasty and infected and prescribed me antibiotics and off I went. He said I saved them all days if not weeks of caring for me in the hospital by getting in for antibiotics now.
#18
Oddly enough I could not walk off the massive lower back hemorrhage that the very next day finally fully paralyzed me from the waist down. I instead had an emergency sugery within hours of my consult with nurosurgery and spent the night on an ICU stepdown unit. Had doctors listened to me once in the three years and five ER visits prior to paralysis about the severity of my back pain I might not have, you know have life long problems. But hey, I get to [urinate] standing up now so thats pretty fun I guess.
#19
After a couple of agonising days in hospital I was sent home. Only for it to flare up again about 4 months later. At A&E the doctor told me I had a "textbook array of symptoms of appendicitis", with a heavy dose of scepticism. As if a very common illness presenting with common symptoms is something to be wary of. They eventually operate, and the surgeon makes a point of how necrotic my appendix was, and how surprised he was I hadn't developed peritonitis or other complications.
Sadly this is all too common and experience. I know a woman who [passed away] of it in her late 30s, after being repeatedly dismissed.
#20
The nurse came in and manhandled me, trying to get me to stand up and walk to the x-ray room. I obviously couldn't, screaming out in pain as she did. She rolled her eyes, and went to get the mobile x-ray machine. She brought in two other nurses to hold me down and force me into different positions.
I couldn't help but scream each time they moved me. She told me to stop, and yanked my leg forward to get a better image. The pain was blinding and I stopped breathing. She said, "That's better."
She then walked around to look at the images, and I've never seen color drain from someone's face so literally. She bolted out of the room. One of the other nurses walked around to look at the image, motioned for the other one, and they just stared at it together until the doctor barged into the room, anesthesiologist in tow, and within about a minute I was under.
When I came to (it was instant to me, but apparently was about an hour) they had splinted my leg, and scheduled me for surgery. Never saw that first nurse after that, but you better believe I made a complaint.
EDIT: To anyone else insisting she was a radiology technician, no, I learned she was a RN when I made the complaint. That state doesn't have strict guidelines concerning X-rays (NC). And I didn't see her again because they pretty much immediately after that had me sent to a different nearby hospital because they had an OR available sooner. The second ambulance ride was easier because my leg was stabilized.