Family is supposed to be the tightest unit, sticking together no matter what comes their way. Unfortunately, many people’s experiences with their loved ones aren’t like that at all; instead, they’re forced to deal with entitlement, jealousy, and sometimes even absurd conflicts.
This is what a single childfree woman had to deal with when her older sister found out she had bought a 3-bedroom house and expected to move her entire family into it. Even when the woman tried to set boundaries with her family, they guilt-tripped her and called her selfish for saying no.
Entitled loved ones can be tough to deal with, especially if they don’t ever seem to realize how absurd their expectations are
The poster shared that she finally bought her first home that had enough space for her 2 dogs and cat, but when her elder sister found out about it, she felt it was a selfish purchase
The woman’s sister got their mom involved and tried to bully her into letting her and her 3 children move in, as she felt a single lady didn’t need such a big space
Since the poster’s mother and sibling kept pestering her, she made a post about them online and later showed them the comments from netizens shaming their entitled behavior
The woman felt guilty about causing her sister so much pain, but also felt justified as her other relatives all took her side
When it comes to childless or childfree women like this, it seems like society always looks down on them or treats them with a lot of disdain. According to Alison Stevenson, women are often called selfish for not wanting the responsibility parenthood entails, for not wanting to invest their time and money into another life.” This ends up creating a huge divide between different groups of women merely based on their choice to procreate.
Researcher Seth J. Gillihan states that folks are so caught up in the idea that childfree people are selfish that they don’t stop to recognize that both lifestyle choices can coexist. This misunderstanding can create harmful stereotypes, confusion, and stop people from building deeper bonds.
In some cases, family members or friends might even berate someone for choosing not to have kids or expect them to give up on certain luxuries of life. In situations like this, childfree feminist Victoria Suzanne explains that it could be that “they envy us and it eats them up, so they want us to be just as unhappy as them.”
This is especially true if a loved one is acting on their jealous feelings, as studies have found that when this happens, especially between siblings, there can be a lot of fear, anger, and exclusion. Unfortunately, these emotions can also harm the family relationship, which can be hard to recover from.
Dealing with a family member who is envious and demanding can lead to some uncomfortable conversations and confrontations
Being the subject of someone’s envy can be tough, but if you observe someone feeling this way, it might help to address their emotions as soon as possible. According to Richard Zwolinski, when you talk to people and tell them what’s really been going on, this might be enough to take the power out of someone’s jealous gossip.
Even for the person struggling with the green-eyed monster, Philippa Perry says they should reframe their thoughts and see what they envy as something they could work toward. It can be hard to accomplish everything other people have done, but jealousy can be a wake-up call about what we want to achieve in life.
As for entitlement from loved ones and friends, the best way to deal with it is to set boundaries, which isn't easy, but it can be fulfilling and protect your peace in the long run.
Psychotherapist Barbara Heffernan also states that as you practice boundary-setting and work on your own self-esteem, it can feel very powerful. During that time, it’s also important to be compassionate with yourself and give yourself time to adjust, rather than expecting everything to turn out perfectly all at once.
In the end, it isn’t up to demanding family members to decide how a person enjoys their own home, but dealing with guilt-tripping and tough conversations like this can certainly be hard. That’s why the woman posted about her experience online, and netizens offered her a lot of support.
What else do you think the poster could do to deal with her spoiled sister and mother? Do share your thoughts on this story, as we’d love to hear your perspective.
People urged the woman to cut her toxic family members off, and questioned whether her sister was the golden child growing up
