26 Mothers-In-Law Who Treated Boundaries Like Suggestions And Privacy Like A Joke (Closed)

I am livid. I'm not asking for legal advice or anything or for someone to tell me to just move out. I can't. I just need to type this out. I went for a walk but before I did, I put my headphones a certain way over the track pad to test if she had been going through my stuff like I thought and sure they were moved and a different tab was open than what I had left. Best part is I had my diary up and there are some not very kind things about her in it.

So my MIL has this “thing” where she just can’t sit still. Every time she visits, she starts “helping out” around the house. Except her idea of helping is… moving everything I own.

Like, she’ll rearrange my spice rack, move the couch two inches “for better energy flow,” and once color-coded my bookshelf by vibe.

But last weekend was the last straw. I came home from work and found her in our bedroom, folding my laundry which would’ve been fine except she was also “tidying up” my underwear drawer. She said it looked “chaotic” and that she “couldn’t relax knowing it was like that.”

When I told her that was a boundary, she literally said, “Well, if you kept things properly, I wouldn’t feel the need to fix them.”

My husband thinks I’m overreacting, but I told him next time she visits, I’m locking our bedroom door and maybe the whole house.

My MIL has a huge history of drama with her husband’s side of the family and doesn’t talk to any of them. She expects her kids to also not talk to them ( they are all early - late 20s ). My boyfriend took me to go meet them and imo they were all nice to me but thats besides the point. my boyfriends grandma sent me a christmas card this year that i tucked away in my dresser cause i didnt want his mother to find it. today she came downstairs asking if i met her and i said yes. she said oh i didnt know u met her i found the card. i feel like this is a huge invasion of privacy and makes me think she has done this before if she finally found something to “use” against me. she is now slamming doors because of this. ive asked my boyfriend to talk to her and he said if he does she will blow up. im just feeling really creeped out and that my privacy was invaded.

update

boyfriend tried to talk to her today about it. she made it into a screaming match and then came upstairs and started yelling at me. Im crossing the line. I will not have a monster mil and put up with this for the rest of my life. she then called my boyfriend outside and shamed him for accusing her of going through my things. He can either go no contact with her or we will break up. Im done tip toeing around her.

Hey everyone, I’m honestly very over my MIL and her 1 week visit for the Christmas holidays. Initially she was supposed to be staying from the 22nd until January 3rd, but by the grace of God she will be leaving the 1st of January since she has a friend willing to drive her back to her city (she lives 2 hours away, so we only see her in the summer and Christmas time). Anyways, my JNMIL went through my purse without my permission and I just wanted to know if I’m overreacting and how you would react. For Christmas, one of my aunts had purchased a hat for DS, that DH and I agreed was too big for the baby. I had put the hat in my purse last night WITH THE GIFT RECEIPT so that I could exchange it for a better size today. FF to today, I had to take my MIL to purchase groceries with DS. I was cleaning the ice off my car and came back in the house to see DS wearing the hat with the tag removed. I explained to her that I was going to exchange the hat (THAT IS LITERALLY COVERING HIS EYES), and she claims oh no it’s fine he will grow into it. Like that’s not her decision to make.. please i honestly don’t know how much longer I can do it with her.

My 70 YO MIL came over to watch my younger daughter (11 YO) while my husband and I went out to dinner. My older daughter (13) was at a friends house the entire time. When we returned home around 10 pm, my MIL mentioned that she had helped “pick up” my older daughter’s room. She mentioned it and I wasn’t really paying close attention. Later, shortly after she left, I started to question why she would even be in my daughter’s room. I don’t believe she did it with the intention to help or “pick up” bc when she watches our kids she NEVER picks up anything. This particular night she did not clean up the mess from dinner (which we prepared for my daughter and her before we left). There was salad, dressing, her plate with foot on it, cups, everything on the counter. The living room was messy, etc. I think she was snooping around, and that makes me feel like she violated my daughter’s privacy. She is concerned with the current Republican talking points, “culture wars” type stuff and I wouldn’t doubt if she was looking for evidence of something she could find wrong or sinful that she could share with her friends at Bible study. (This shouldn’t matter, but she should have zero reason to be suspicious of my daughter. She is a terrific, student, athlete, musician, friend, leader, and we are very involved in her life. She doesn’t even have a smart phone yet.)

My husband thinks she definitely wasn’t cleaning but it was just innocent “nosiness “. I don’t trust her and don’t want her in my home. Am I overreacting?

So for background, my father is a monster who's currently rotting in jail for the rest of his life (hopefully if our justice system doesn't fail his victims) and I last spoke to him when I was 15, I'm 24 now. I never hid this from my future husband (FH), he knows why my father is in jail and not in my life. The rest of my FH's family just knows my father isn't in my life and hasn't been for nearly a decade.

My FMIL didn't really have any interest in me before I got engaged to her son but now she wants to know EVERYTHING about me and be my bestie. I have no clue why she's like this now honestly. I don't feel comfortable talking about my father with her so every time she's asked (twice) I told her he's not in my life and I don't want to talk about him. My mother also refused to talk about my father when my FMIL asked her about him.

Instead of letting it go she somehow found him, I say somehow because in the country I live in we don't have easy access to criminal records like other countries. Not only did my FMIL find my father she decided to secretly send him letters, call him and finally visit this monster (not sure how many times).

We only found out because my father sent me a letter to congratulate me on my new job and upcoming nuptials. FMIL not only got in contact with my father, she's given him information about my life, my address and my phone number. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm seeing her in an hour...