50 Times People Saw The True Colors Of Their “Friends” And Shamed Them Online

No man, or woman, is an island. We all need other people around us. Maybe not all the time. But definitely some of the time. Several studies show what a few of us might already suspect or know. People with close, good friends are happier and less lonely. Dr Miriam Kirmayer is a clinical psychologist who specializes in friendships and social connection. She says loneliness is literally bad for our health.

Kirmayer writes in The Guardian that loneliness can lead to anxiety and depression. It lowers our immune response. It negatively affects our brains. And it increases our risk of chronic health conditions including high blood pressure. “Research suggests that chronic loneliness may be as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day,” said Kirmayer. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

The American Psychological Association explains it like this: “Friendships protect us in part by changing the way we respond to stress. Blood pressure reactivity is lower when people talk to a supportive friend rather than a friend whom they feel ambivalent about.” One study found that having a friend next to us while completing a tough task had less heart rate reactivity than those working alone. While another study saw people judging a hill as less steep when accompanied by a friend.

Bad friends could even unalive us. But not in the way you might think. An American study of more than 308 thousand people found that adults with no close friends, or bad friends, were twice as likely to die prematurely. A separate study of more than 480 thousand British people found that a lack of quality friendships and relationships increases our risk of heart attack, stroke and early death. If you needed a reason to trade in those toxic or fake friends for some genuine ones. This might be it.

Kirmayer notes that it’s more about quality than quantity when it comes to friendships and connections. Meaning, don’t expect to be happier and healthier just because you surround yourself with a whole bunch of people. Or strangers on social media. You could be doing more harm than good. So choose your crew wisely. That's not to say strangers can't bring unexpected joy to our lives. Now and again. As these people found out...

“When we equate aloneness to loneliness, we act in ways that further our feelings of disconnection. We hold on to relationships that are imbalanced, draining, or unhealthy. We prioritize likes and follower counts over meaningful, reciprocated connections,” writes Kirmayer. “We tiptoe around conflicts, instead of addressing them in constructive ways… And we insert ourselves into social situations that make us feel uncomfortable, unsafe and unheard.”