“The Entitlement Is Unreal”: Woman Steals From Colleagues, Believes She’s Doing Nothing Wrong

Even if your job does not entail a lot of teamwork, you might have to interact with co-workers on a daily basis nevertheless. And sometimes, the interactions are not all positive.

This redditor, for instance, had to confront her co-worker after realizing that she’s been taking things from people’s desks without asking. Though, even after said confrontation, the woman saw no problem in what she was doing.

Scroll down to find the full story and Bored Panda’s interview with a licensed clinical psychologist, Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D., who was kind enough to share his insight on the matter.

Sometimes, one aggravating co-worker is enough to ruin a perfectly fine day. For this redditor, it was her colleague who would take what’s not rightfully hers, consequently ruining people’s day and making them feel understandably uncomfortable.

“People who have a sense of entitlement follow their own (self-interested) rules and can—and frequently do—violate the boundaries of others,” Leon F. Seltzer told Bored Panda. “This is a clear narcissistic trait, and though they may not meet the criteria for a full-blown narcissistic personality disorder, unquestionably they do possess one of the key narcissistic traits.”

Trying to put yourself in the shoes of the thief’s colleagues would probably make you uncomfortable, too, as the last thing you expect to happen at work is dealing with a thief. Unfortunately, in reality, it’s not as uncommon as you might think.

A survey of over 1,000 office workers in the UK found that more than one-in-seven of them have had their belongings stolen by a co-worker. (The survey also revealed that men were more likely to become the targets of workplace theft than their female counterparts.) A similar number of people consider such theft a very serious matter, whether it’s a pen or money being taken, YouGov reports.

According to YouGov, pens and pencils are the things that co-workers tend to purloin the most often, followed by note pads and printer paper respectively. The items that are stolen less frequently seem to be of a greater value, including such things as memory sticks, computer equipment, and even money or the computer itself.

Employees stealing from one another isn’t the only theft-related problem workplaces face; some of them suffer from employees stealing from the company itself. Some statistics suggest that three-in-four employees have admitted to stealing something from their employer and roughly 38% admit having stolen at least twice.

According to the 2018 Report to the Nations on Occupational Fraud and Abuse, even though the percentage of occupational frauds referred to law enforcement has declined by 16% over the last decade, such fraud remains extremely costly: the report found that roughly one-fifth of occupational frauds caused at least $1 million in losses.

While stealing co-workers’ K-cups and pens might not result in millions of dollars in losses, it can have a significant detrimental effect on employee morale and people’s emotional well-being. The OP pointed out that after learning that their belongings have been messed with, the employees in her company felt shocked, angry, and violated, and rightfully so.

“It would certainly make the workplace feel less trustworthy,” Seltzer agreed. “To be optimally productive, professional colleagues need to work as a team and I can't think of anything that would undermine this orientation more than for one person to treat others as objects to take advantage of for their own selfish purposes.”

When discussing the possible ways of dealing with such a person in the workplace, the expert emphasized that anybody who can behave like this and think it's okay to do so would be extremely difficult to reach. “The only thing that could work would be to ask her whether she'd be okay with her colleagues removing items from her desk without asking. If she says ‘no’, that's a good indicator that she doesn't think others are entitled as she does herself, suggesting the probability that she does have a personality disturbance.

“However, it's also important to consider that narcissists are frequently pathological liars, so she might say it would be fine with her but react very negatively if others put her alleged position to the test,” he added.