You’ve got the perfect ring picked out, you’ve chosen the best possible place to go down on one knee, and you know exactly what you’re going to say when you’ll look deep into your partner’s eyes and tell them that you love them, asking them to marry you. There’s just one tiny snag, though: they said ‘no.’ And now you’re heartbroken and posting about it on the internet.
Internet users have opened up about the proposal rejections they’ve given, experienced, or witnessed on the massively popular r/AskReddit online community, and their stories are captivating, emotional, sad, and dramatic. You might shed a tear (or even accidentally laugh at how awkward and ridiculous some of these situations are). Have a read below and let us know what you think about them in the comments. And if you’re feeling up to it, share your own experiences proposing or being proposed to as well.
Meanwhile, be sure to read Bored Panda’s interview with Anna and Sarah from The Wedding Society about proposals, what we should avoid doing, and how to control our nerves before popping the question.
#1
Obligatory not me proposing but I was a witness
She hates big surprises and being pressured into things. He proposed at a surprise party in front of all their friends (including me) and families. She said "Here and now, no".
Then she dragged him out of there by the collar to an empty room, told him EXACTLY how he'd messed up, stating "I've never doubted that I wanted to be with you forever until you pulled that". He apologized. Then got down on one knee and gave her the quiet, private proposal she wanted, to which she said "like this, hell yes".
Then they return to the party to celebrate and announce that they were engaged.
It was one of the most awkward 15 minutes of my life but I have never respected her more!
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276points
#2
Was dating the girl next door, when i went away to Boot Camp. Got out of Boot, went to Tech School in Texas. Was able to come home, which was in Rhode Island, every couple of months or so. I asked her to marry me. She said no, we were too young, and I was only asking since I was away and lonely. I persisted, but she was resolute. Got out of Boot, and was at my first Duty Station, a year after I had gone in. I asked her again. She said no, still too young to know what we were doing. Got in a fight, kinda had a "break" in the relationship for a while. Got back together, and I decided not to ask again, as she was obviously not going to marry me.
Six months later, she said to me, "So, did you give up on marrying me?" I said "Pretty much, yeah"
Her: Well, my answer might be different now.
Me: Can't risk it, my fear of rejection is insisting I never ask again.
Her: No, really, I might have changed my mind.
Me: Sorry, twice bitten, yada yada.
She basically had to guarantee me should would say yes before I would ask her again.
Today, I woke up, rolled over to give her a kiss, and realized this is our 41st Christmas together, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
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255points
#3
I was in a restaurant and a homosexual couple was at the table next to ours. One guy made the proposal, the other one rejected him because he wanted to propose, had the same plan, goes on his knees, and proposed to him. After that, they were arguing about who is allowed to propose, both were prepared and both bought rings.
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211points
Anna and Sarah from The Wedding Society were kind enough to walk Bored Panda through the biggest pitfalls that we should avoid if we’re considering proposing to our partners. Timing, for instance, is a very important part of this.
“Generally, we’d advise not to take someone else’s moment away from them. Don’t tag onto another event—just work on creating a moment that’s dedicated wholly to you both. Also, don’t take risks that you think might not work. If it ‘could be brilliant or be a disaster’…. maybe workshop some other options,” they warned.
#4
I was in a gondola going up a ski slope and there was a couple in it with me. The guy Decided to propose halfway up and the girl replied with "I know you have been cheating on me bastard" then slapped him. Then we had to sit there in awkward silence for 15 minutes up the mountain. It was hilarious
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180points
#5
I don't remember.
I woke up after a surgery and apparently I was madly in love with the nurse because she brought me a dull sandwich and a cup of coffee. My parents say that I told her she was the best human being I've met, and that she should be crowned queen of the world. Then I asked if she wanted to marry me so I could be king, but she was already married.
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143points
#6
A more gay, funnier, and subverted side to this story, but I did a sort of non-traditional proposal to an ex-girlfriend of mine when I was around my mid-20’s, because she loved surprises and I REALLY wanted to surprise her with this.
She got all flustered and scared, because her family was all homophobic conservatives and she never did end up telling them that she was dating a girl (I have a pretty masculine name) and she was worried about me because she didn’t want me to get insulted or hurt by her family.
It ended with her trying to think up the best hypothetical ways to tell her family that she was “marrying a girl” with the most minimally worst result because she didn’t want to reject me since she really did love the idea of us being married, and me telling her that if she wasn’t ready to marry because of whatever reason then she can say “no.” Which ended with us not being engaged that day.
The funny thing was that she was normally the more relaxed out of the two of us, and seeing her freaking out and being all nervous like that was both endearing and concerning because I never expected her to act like that.
Sadly, we did end up breaking up and she’s now currently married to a man (we’re both bi, LOL) that she’s more than happy with; and whom I like as well because he really does treat her well and she does deserve the absolute BEST.
But damn, sometimes I really do miss those times. She was one of the best partners I’ve ever had; but if she’s happy with her life, I am too.
141points
I was curious whether the people considering proposals should worry about being originality. Or if originality is even possible in this day and age. (Remember, there’s nothing new under the sun!) Anna told me that authenticity, not originality, is key here.
“Instead of focusing on being original, focus on being authentic. If someone wants to truly spend the rest of their life with you, then all they really want to hear in that moment is what they mean to you. The right kind of fiancé doesn’t need to be impressed by the proposal in order to be won over,” she said. However, she added that we really ought to try, not just wing it: “That said, turn off Netflix and get off the couch. Make an effort, ya know?”
#7
She told me that she was so desperate to get married she would marry anyone who asked as long he wasn't the biggest loser on the entire planet. I learned something about myself that day.
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127points
#8
Not myself but I did watch one once and it's god awful. Guy just won an amateur bodybuilding contest and his partner came up on stage with him. He immediately drops to one knee and asks for her to marry him. She doesn’t say a word and starts to shake her head no and he starts to weep on stage while still holding the microphone.
Nothing like watching a grown man oiled up in a banana hammock ugly crying in front of an arena full of people.
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122points
#9
My grandfather proposed to my grandmother in a hot air balloon. She said yes, and she claims the balloonist said, "Thank God! You don't know how many people propose up here and then we have to spend 2 hours of awkwardness up here if she says no!"
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121points
What many people think of when they’re planning how they’ll propose is how nervous they might get. Especially if they’re shy. Luckily, Anna and Sarah had some wise words of advice for us.
“If you’re nervous, eliminate the crowds or witnesses. Instead, record the moment from an inconspicuous place, so neither of you is aware that the device is there,” they suggested. “Then you‘ll have a record of the moment between you both to share as you like.”
They noted that even the most confident people feel nerves when trying to say the right thing. “Writing it down and reading it aloud helps a lot because you’re not focusing on what you might be forgetting and you know you’re not leaving anything out.”
#10
A guy proposed to me a couple of years ago. He was just depressed about the lady he was actually in love with rejecting him. And unless I'm mistaken his thought process was: "well this girl liked me a few years ago and has been a halfway decent friend, maybe since I can't have true love and she doesn't seem to have any prospects we can just settle on each other..." I did not agree.
112points
#11
I was meeting up with an old friend, Joe, from back in the day. We were at the part of the catch-up where we were talking about relationships etc. I told him about my long-term boyfriend (8 years) and our house and dogs. But he just couldn't fathom that Nathan and I weren't married and that I didn't care that we weren't. No matter what we talked about next, he'd always bring it back to, "you must be so unhappy he doesn't love you enough" and "what a shame a nice girl like you is stuck with him." Got quite annoyed but sort of forgot about him and the whole thing pretty quickly.
Fast forward to a year later, and I was at a friend's wedding with my partner. Joe was also there. Nathan had just gone to grab us some drinks and came back to Joe down on one knee proposing to me, with a ring and everything. He was saying how he could make me so much happier and give me the life I'd always wanted with children and I'd never had to work again. Which if you know me, is very not me. I was just looking at him with my mouth open, completely taken aback.
Nathan just looked from me to him then back to me. I had a deer in the headlights look. I honestly had no idea what to say or do. I scrambled out of my chair and said, "no thanks Joe. I'm good." Downed my champagne and ran to the dance floor. I've never been happier to dance my whole life, and I really don't like dancing in public.
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104points
#12
My dad actually was rejected by my mom the first time he asked. They were on a cruise and he proposed at dinner, in front of people, and she said no. She just wasn’t ready, and he was embarrassed lol. This is why I plan ahead and will never propose publicly
101points
#13
Not me, but my secretary's boyfriend proposed in grand fashion: Rented a white horse, suit of armor showed up at the office and performed the whole scene. His friends called the local news station and it was on the evening news. She smiled/grimaced through the whole grisly act and said yes for the cameras. Later, when they were home and alone, she let him down gently. They stayed together for a couple more months, but then she broke up with him when she found out he had gotten two women pregnant during their relationship.
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96points
#14
Older guys comes into the restaurant where my friend worked with a hot, much younger, girl.
He asks for a ring to be put into her glass of champagne and delivered to the table about halfway through the meal.
When it's delivered she obviously notices but ignores it.
She excuses herself to go to the ladies. On the way she gets her coat and tells the member of staff "tell him I said no" and leaves the restaurant.
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94points
#15
I witnessed a proposal that was shot down in a blaze of awkwardness. I was at the Cheesecake Factory sitting at a table where one side is a booth and one is a chair. The tables are super close together. The guy at the table next to me gets down on a knee between our tables (only he barely fit and kept bumping my table). She was horrified he was asking and said no.
They hadn’t even eaten yet so they had the rest of their meal while bickering about the proposal. He kept yell asking her what he should do with the ring now. Truly the most awkward meal of my life sitting less than a foot from that.
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91points
#16
A buddy of mine from college just got rejected while proposing. She was very, VERY adamant about getting married, having babies, looking at rings, the whole thing. Wanted to be a housewife and stuff bc she hated working as a teacher. They even talked about it and she'd said stuff like "I'd be prepared to say yes as soon as you ask." Pretty up the middle right?
Well, he proposed and she said she wasn't ready for the settled life, tried to keep the ring, broke up with him (she needed to find herself apparently?), And when she couldn't explain why to her friends and family, made up (and then recanted) an abuse saga to justify her leaving. Turns out she'd actually been low-key gold digging the whole time and was only dating him because it cut her rent in half and she could drive his truck (couldn't afford a car). She ended up with one of the 'nice guy' types but she's basically ripping that dude apart right now (and just crashed his car...). So bizarre and she seemed pretty normal when she was dating my buddy. Bullet dodged ig
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86points
#17
My boyfriend of 4 years and I went on a holiday together. I was still very in love with him at that moment and i thought he had the same feelings. The 3rd night I had a bad fever and told him he could go out if he wanted because I was going to bed at like 7pm. So he went to the hotel bar I think. I woke up at 4:00ish all sweaty and took a shower and he was still not back from drinking, so I went to the hotel bar (this was a big hotel so it was stil open and pretty crowded) and saw my boyfriend being a little to comfortable with some college-age girl. I asked a waitress of she had seen him do anything, and she told me they had been making out dozens of times. I was too shocked/hurt that moment for the confrontation so promised myself to break up with him as soon as we got home. 3 days later, while we were at another hotel, he asked me to marry him. The answer and the reason were pretty obvious.
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84points
#18
My boyfriend proposed after we had our first child. We’d been together 3 or 4 years at that point, lived together, planned to have the kid. I turned him down and told him it was because I thought he was doing it because of the baby. I wanted it to be because of me and not an obligation and I think I was a little hurt that he hadn’t asked before when it was just me in the equation. I told him If he waited one more year and still wanted to and asked again I would say yes. It took him three more kids and like 5-6 more years to ask again (so now we have been together for almost 11 years and have 4 kids), but we are finally getting married in two days :).
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80points
#19
My grandmother used to be a caretaker for an old optometrist who had ALS. She lived with him on a farm and one could definitely see they had loved each other. He asked her to marry him and she laughed, thinking he was just joking. He wasn't.
A few months later he passed away at the hospital, smiling because she was on her way to visit him.
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80points
