"What Did 'That' Parent Do That Ended Your Relationship With Them?" (30 Answers)

We spoke to Dr. Gleb Tsipursky about this topic and he had some very interesting insights on the relationships of kids and parents: "One of the major mistakes parents often make while raising their children is failing to provide them with a balanced environment of support and independence. It's crucial to understand that children need to be allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Overprotecting or micromanaging their lives can hinder their ability to develop essential problem-solving skills and resilience. Additionally, not acknowledging or validating their emotions can lead to emotional intelligence deficits in the future."

Dr. Gleb Tsipursky shared his own run-ins with "bad" parenting: "In my experience, one of the most damaging things parents can do to their relationship with their children is to consistently prioritize their own needs and desires over those of their children. I've encountered situations where parents, due to their own ambitions or insecurities, have imposed their own dreams and aspirations on their children, disregarding the child's individual interests and abilities. This can lead to resentment and can significantly strain the parent-child relationship."

The expert gave some tips for those who want to nurture a great relationship with their kids: "When aiming to foster a great relationship with your children, it's important to remember that respect is a two-way street. Just as we expect our children to respect us, we must also respect them. This includes respecting their individuality, their feelings, their opinions, and their space. It's also crucial to maintain open lines of communication, to listen actively when they speak, and to be honest yet age-appropriately tactful in our responses."

"If parents want to raise children who enjoy their company, they should strive to create a home environment that encourages open communication, mutual respect, and genuine interest in each other's lives. Spend quality time with your children, engage in activities that they enjoy, and show interest in their passions. Encourage their independence and decision-making skills, but also provide guidance and support when needed. Most importantly, be a role model for the values you wish to instill in them. Remember, children are more likely to learn from what they see you do than from what you tell them to," shared Dr. Gleb Tsipursky.

We also managed to get an interview with the online user who asked the question: “I asked the question because I know it’s a prevalent issue that isn’t discussed enough or is often dismissed when discussed. I personally have had my fair share of experiences with my own family that made me feel alone, and I felt that fostering an environment that started a conversation about it among a diverse group would help myself and others who grapple with the issue.”

They continued sharing why they asked the question and shared some personal experiences: “My parents very much teetered on the edge of being physically abusive - they would tamper with dental tools, which resulted in my not being able to eat or talk due to pain. They would frequently put me down and tell me what was and wasn’t right, but not based on morals - rather what they wanted for me and what they regretted doing/not doing in their own childhoods. They would throw me in a psychiatric ward for minor reasons claiming that I was suicidal, whether or not that was the case. It was very alienating to walk on eggshells for so long - I forgot what was and wasn’t normal to others and had a hard time coming to terms with how irregular my upbringing was.”

They shared what is important to keep in mind to have a good relationship with your kids: “I believe the most important thing is to hold on to your own childhood memories: How isolating was it to completely disagree with a parent? How hard was it to tell said parents your secrets or fears? How much difference do you feel about controversial topics as a new adult?"

"Just remember what it feels like to be in their shoes. Even when you think they may be going down the wrong path, approach it like a friend, be kind and patient, and don’t force them into your lifestyle. Gentle parenting truly fosters trust and a feeling of safety. It is 100% the best way to ‘get your way’ over the harsh ‘live as if you’re an extension of me’ parenting. Your child will not agree with you on everything, but with time and patience, they will start to understand your perspective more and more (if you let them), and THAT is what gives them the tools to make those important decisions.”

The user also gave some tips for parents: “Treat them with the respect you would show another adult because even if they’re your child, you need to earn that respect. Love comes easily, but respect takes action over words. Show them that you see them as an equal, and they will do the same!”

They also shared their opinion on some major mistakes parents make with their kids: “I think sheltering your kids too much creates adults that are totally unequipped for the real world. They lack critical thinking skills and will question their every move. Every word you say to a kid sticks with them, some more than most, so teach them right from wrong but also that gray area of life, so they can feel confident in their abilities to be independent. Obviously as well, don’t just fully let them do their own thing with no guidance. Find a balance and stick with it, be consistent. I’m sure there are countless other important factors, but the above was huge for me. I moved out and was just so lost, doubtful of myself, and truly had no idea how to operate in this difficult world on my own. I jumped from relationship to relationship, just trying to find validation in myself. I had no clue how to function for a long time. Thankfully, I’ve found my way, but my peers were way ahead of me in so many ways because my parents did so much for me in the wrong ways - ways that prevented me from learning my own critical life skills.”