Not every friendship needs to have matching necklaces to be meaningful. If you care deeply about a person, support them on their best and worst days and can spend hours giggling about the silliest things, that’s all that matters.
But unfortunately, not all friendships are perfectly balanced. And sometimes, you're forced to swallow a bitter pill after realizing that someone you considered a close friend never actually cared about you at all. Redditors have been sharing stories of former friendships that blew up in an instant, so we’ve gathered their most heartbreaking tales below. Keep reading to also find a conversation with Dr. Therese Mascardo, PsyD. And let these stories be reminders of what you deserve in your own relationships, pandas.
#1
I was gaming with my best friend and my wife was sitting on the couch next to me just reading a book. She was super content just letting me game. She just wanted to be spending time with me. My friend had a not even one year old kid that he just stuck in a bouncing chair in the side of the room while we played. He said the kid loves that chair and is in it a lot, so he just games.
The kid starts whining a bit, but he gets ignored. I'm thinking "We'll probably hit this checkpoint and he'll go tend to his kid." Nope. Several good stopping points had passed and the kid was fussing even more now. So my buddy says to my wife "[my wife's name], there's formula in the cupboard and the diaper bag is over in the corner there. He's probably just hungry and has a poopy diaper if you wanna feed and change him."
I looked at this guy like he'd just slapped her, turned my game off and said "How about instead of asking my wife to do it, you put down your game and take care of your own child?"
A bit of a harsh response, but he looked so butt hurt that I'd just told him to take care of his own child instead of game all day. I packed my stuff up and we left. I haven't spoken to him in 3 years.
TL;DR My former best friend told my wife to feed and change his infant child so he could keep playing video games. We don't speak anymore.
The kid starts whining a bit, but he gets ignored. I'm thinking "We'll probably hit this checkpoint and he'll go tend to his kid." Nope. Several good stopping points had passed and the kid was fussing even more now. So my buddy says to my wife "[my wife's name], there's formula in the cupboard and the diaper bag is over in the corner there. He's probably just hungry and has a poopy diaper if you wanna feed and change him."
I looked at this guy like he'd just slapped her, turned my game off and said "How about instead of asking my wife to do it, you put down your game and take care of your own child?"
A bit of a harsh response, but he looked so butt hurt that I'd just told him to take care of his own child instead of game all day. I packed my stuff up and we left. I haven't spoken to him in 3 years.
TL;DR My former best friend told my wife to feed and change his infant child so he could keep playing video games. We don't speak anymore.
116points
#2
She got married. I was just friends with this girl from law school. She was a cool girl and we lived in the same city after law school.
We never had s*x. We had never seen each other naked. I was dating someone else at the time. She was dating this guy. I met her parents as just a friend - was friends with her sister.
So for about 6 years we were just pretty cool friends. She gets married... her husband then texts me and tells me to stay away from her.
I text her and say, yo, your husband is telling me not to speak with you anymore, is that what you want?
I got no response.
Cool.
A few weeks pass and I call friend's sister and see if she wants to grab a drink as I was in the area.
"You got some f*****g nerve calling me."
"Um... what? Listen, I know XX doesn't want me to speak to her but not sure why we can't be friends."
"Are you f*****g kidding me? You ruined her life and are trying to ruin her marriage with what you did to her!"
*WHAT??????????*
"I'm sorry, I have no idea what you are talking about... I have always had her best interest at heart so I dunno."
"Yeah, well... then why didn't you tell her you had herpes before you f****d her."
"Wait what??? She and I never had s*x and I don't have herpes so I'm a little confused here."
"Stop f*****g lying - HUSBAND told the whole thing and she never denied it so f**k you, don't f*****g ever speak to us again!"
Alright...
Come to find out - that a*****e had herpes and didn't tell her and he gave her herpes and when it got out that she had herpes somehow, he blamed it on me and she just let the lie take hold because it was easier than her family hating her husband.
Alright - cheers... consider it a parting gift.
We never had s*x. We had never seen each other naked. I was dating someone else at the time. She was dating this guy. I met her parents as just a friend - was friends with her sister.
So for about 6 years we were just pretty cool friends. She gets married... her husband then texts me and tells me to stay away from her.
I text her and say, yo, your husband is telling me not to speak with you anymore, is that what you want?
I got no response.
Cool.
A few weeks pass and I call friend's sister and see if she wants to grab a drink as I was in the area.
"You got some f*****g nerve calling me."
"Um... what? Listen, I know XX doesn't want me to speak to her but not sure why we can't be friends."
"Are you f*****g kidding me? You ruined her life and are trying to ruin her marriage with what you did to her!"
*WHAT??????????*
"I'm sorry, I have no idea what you are talking about... I have always had her best interest at heart so I dunno."
"Yeah, well... then why didn't you tell her you had herpes before you f****d her."
"Wait what??? She and I never had s*x and I don't have herpes so I'm a little confused here."
"Stop f*****g lying - HUSBAND told the whole thing and she never denied it so f**k you, don't f*****g ever speak to us again!"
Alright...
Come to find out - that a*****e had herpes and didn't tell her and he gave her herpes and when it got out that she had herpes somehow, he blamed it on me and she just let the lie take hold because it was easier than her family hating her husband.
Alright - cheers... consider it a parting gift.
102points
#3
My cousin and I were inseparable as teens. He went on his mission (Mormon) and I went to hang out for a few days when he got back, I was so excited. I got there, paid for all the fun stuff we went out to do, no problem. His childhood friend and I were trying to get him to go for a walk to this cave we used to go to and he decided to tell me what a piece of trash I am and I'm going to hell because I'm gay. I didn't say a word as I drove him home immediately. I said "get out" and haven't talked to him in the 8 years since then, f**k him.
94points
To learn more about this topic, we got in touch with psychologist, author and speaker Dr. Therese Mascardo, PsyD. She was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss why going through a friendship breakup is so painful.
"Because we don’t expect it," the expert says. "With romantic relationships, we’re conditioned to the reality they might end, but often believe close friendships are forever."
"Losing a friend feels like losing a piece of yourself. It’s not just about the person; it’s about the memories, the inside jokes, the version of you that only existed with them," Dr. Mascardo continued. "There’s no cultural script for mourning a friend, which makes the grief feel even lonelier. Friendship breakups hurt because no one prepares you for them, and because they often take a piece of your past with them without offering any closure."
#4
My one guy friend(24) told me(25F) on NYE that 2020 was the year he was going to f**k me, even if it requires r**e. So I blocked him everywhere and cut all contact. He has since tried to reach me through other ppl to "apologize" but a b***h ain't got time for that foolery.
93points
#5
'all women secretly want to be r***d.' I pulled over and told him to get out. Haven't answered his calls since.
Report
92points
#6
After i spent all day using my truck and trailer helping him haul tables and chairs and a giant archway to the church for his wedding that i was supposed to be a groomsmen.
Him "Hey dude, i really appreciate you helping me move this stuff, i couldn't get anyone else to help, here's $20 for the gas"
Me "woah dude, I'm IN your wedding, I don't need money to help make this happen"
Him- "yeah dude so hey, brent (his soon-to-be wifes best guy friend/100% ex f**k buddy/guy he's known for less than 3 months), really wanted to be in the wedding and i was wondering if it would be cool if he took your spot and i can see if any of her cousins backed out and if there's a seat open somewhere"
This was the day before the wedding.
I had been best friends with that guy since kindergarten, his wife didn't like me because I knew about her wild past from a different circle of friends so this was her attempt to push me out.
He caved but none of the other people involved would help move s**t so he waited until last minute to get me to help.
Haven't spoken to that guy since, and last i heard she quit her job and sucks d**k in his house all day while he's at work. They deserve each other.
Edit- i feel like i need to add, two days after the wedding the church venue called me frantic, apparently no one picked up the chairs, tables, and archway from the church venue and those f***s gave my number and told them I was supposed to be picking them up. That didn't happen.
Him "Hey dude, i really appreciate you helping me move this stuff, i couldn't get anyone else to help, here's $20 for the gas"
Me "woah dude, I'm IN your wedding, I don't need money to help make this happen"
Him- "yeah dude so hey, brent (his soon-to-be wifes best guy friend/100% ex f**k buddy/guy he's known for less than 3 months), really wanted to be in the wedding and i was wondering if it would be cool if he took your spot and i can see if any of her cousins backed out and if there's a seat open somewhere"
This was the day before the wedding.
I had been best friends with that guy since kindergarten, his wife didn't like me because I knew about her wild past from a different circle of friends so this was her attempt to push me out.
He caved but none of the other people involved would help move s**t so he waited until last minute to get me to help.
Haven't spoken to that guy since, and last i heard she quit her job and sucks d**k in his house all day while he's at work. They deserve each other.
Edit- i feel like i need to add, two days after the wedding the church venue called me frantic, apparently no one picked up the chairs, tables, and archway from the church venue and those f***s gave my number and told them I was supposed to be picking them up. That didn't happen.
81points
So how can we know when it might be time to end a friendship? "Start paying attention to how you feel before, during, and after spending time with them," Dr. Mascardo shared. "If you feel anxious, emotionally drained, or like you have to shrink yourself to keep the peace, those are red flags."
"Friendships should be a safe space, not a performance or a transaction. It might be time to let go when trust has been repeatedly broken, boundaries aren’t respected, or the connection feels more like obligation than joy," the therapist continued. "It's healthy for relationships to have give and take, but when a friendship starts to drain your battery more than charge it, then it may be time to re-evaluate."
#7
So, my friends and I all found out that another friend (from here on known as BG for Birthday Girl) had never had a surprise birthday thrown for her, and it was her dream. So we decided to make that happen! My husband planned a big get together at another friend’s house, we invited lots of friends, bought lots of food and even barbecue equipment, and really went all out.
BG found out about the surprise party a few weeks beforehand by accident, and was thrilled! Like, broke down sobbing she was so happy because no one had ever done it for her before. Awesome! We were hyped!
2 days before the party, she texts my husband that she’s changed plans and is going bowling with another friend instead. But we’re invited to come! 8D
....uh? What????
We were floored. And pretty pissed. And lots of people were already committed to coming to this thing! So we just had the party without her, and she texted us some super angry messages because we didn’t show up for bowling.
Now no one is friends with her.
BG found out about the surprise party a few weeks beforehand by accident, and was thrilled! Like, broke down sobbing she was so happy because no one had ever done it for her before. Awesome! We were hyped!
2 days before the party, she texts my husband that she’s changed plans and is going bowling with another friend instead. But we’re invited to come! 8D
....uh? What????
We were floored. And pretty pissed. And lots of people were already committed to coming to this thing! So we just had the party without her, and she texted us some super angry messages because we didn’t show up for bowling.
Now no one is friends with her.
81points
#8
Senior year of high school, I planned a small roadtrip to a nearby city for me and my friends. Everyone was super excited. I planned activities, restaurants, sightseeing, looked at Airbnbs, etc.. One by one, they all told me they didn’t have enough money and couldn’t go. I said it was fine, so I cancelled the trip. Found out via their Snapchat stories that they lied to me and went on the trip I planned without me, including all the activities and restaurants I had suggested. They posted a lot of the pics on Snapchat and instagram too. Never spoke to them again.
81points
#9
Didn't love my dog when he was dog sitting, carelessly let her run away, then failed to look for her. My surveillance cameras caught it all... I was PISSED. Friendship over.
78points
We also asked the expert for her advice on how to end a friendship. "There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. If the friendship was deeply meaningful, a compassionate conversation can offer both people clarity and closure," she says. "But in cases where there’s emotional harm, manipulation, or the dynamic has faded naturally, a gradual disengagement can be more appropriate."
"You don’t owe everyone a detailed explanation—especially if doing so would reopen wounds. You can honor the role someone played in your life without inviting them back into it," Dr. Mascardo noted. "Ending a friendship isn’t about trying to hurt the other person, it’s about protecting yourself and your peace."
#10
This was the fastest for me. I was being stalked and harassed in high school. I went to the administration and they called in the police. My best friend said "I don't know why you have to make it such a big deal." Never spoke to her again.
78points
#11
I was 16 and had my first boyfriend. I confided in my best friend of a decade that I was really upset because he got annoyed at something I said at Baskin Robins and threw me against a table and then down on the floor, and that it wasn't the first time he'd shoved me around.
She told me that she didn't want to hear it and that I had no right to complain because unlike her, at least I had a boyfriend.
That was pretty much that for our friendship.
Edit to add: so people can stop freaking, yes, I broke up with him, and it was like 2 and a half decades ago. I'm in a safe and loving marriage.
She told me that she didn't want to hear it and that I had no right to complain because unlike her, at least I had a boyfriend.
That was pretty much that for our friendship.
Edit to add: so people can stop freaking, yes, I broke up with him, and it was like 2 and a half decades ago. I'm in a safe and loving marriage.
73points
#12
I got se***lly a**aulted by two guys in a summer camp and told it to my best friend. After calling me stupid for letting that happen, she apologised and I forgave her. Then I saw her parents who asked how summer camp went and all she did was turn to me and go "well, you made many friends, didn't you ? Don't you wanna tell my parents about it ?" with a big smile on her face. I don't feel too bad about thinking that she can f**k off in hell.
69points
Finally, the therapist added that it can be hard when a friendship breakup doesn't have closure.
"It's important to keep in mind that these breakups aren’t failures or reflections of our worth. They’re transitions. People evolve and grow, and not always in the same direction," Dr. Mascardo explained.
"It’s okay to grieve, miss them, and still know it was the right decision. Healing doesn’t always look like closure, sometimes it looks like moving forward with self-compassionate acceptance," she continued. "Losing a friend doesn’t mean the bond wasn’t real, it just means your paths are no longer aligned."
#13
I have a story that I don’t really like to talk about. This has been a recent event in my life and is serious. My friend that I am no longer friends with is someone that I have known for years. We are neighbors and practically grew up together.
He was a relatively normal person and had good morals up until he was introduced to social media. He used yolo on Snapchat as well as Instagram. He mainly used Snapchat and yolo.
At this time, his parents were typically not home or helping with taking care of the recent baby brother he received so he had plenty of free time and that free time he used to post yolos. Before he used social media, he was really into the joker for some odd reason. He’d act like the character for no reason and act strange towards strangers and ppl he knew. He even acted that way towards his girlfriend. He ended up losing her because he was acting oddly towards her. All whilst this was happening, he was saying horrifying things on Snapchat. I thought that what he was posting was very disturbing and I got tired of it. He also threatened to k**l people and hurt people.
I ended up taking screenshots of what he was posting and showed the school administration to see if they could help him. He ended up getting suspended for a substantial amount of time and thankfully stopped what he was doing. I am not longer his friend because I can’t take any chances of him finding out and hurting me.
TL:DR
My friend acted like the joker and threatened to k**l people so I told the school and got him suspended.
Call me a snitch all you want, but it would’ve gotten worse if I didn’t do anything.
He was a relatively normal person and had good morals up until he was introduced to social media. He used yolo on Snapchat as well as Instagram. He mainly used Snapchat and yolo.
At this time, his parents were typically not home or helping with taking care of the recent baby brother he received so he had plenty of free time and that free time he used to post yolos. Before he used social media, he was really into the joker for some odd reason. He’d act like the character for no reason and act strange towards strangers and ppl he knew. He even acted that way towards his girlfriend. He ended up losing her because he was acting oddly towards her. All whilst this was happening, he was saying horrifying things on Snapchat. I thought that what he was posting was very disturbing and I got tired of it. He also threatened to k**l people and hurt people.
I ended up taking screenshots of what he was posting and showed the school administration to see if they could help him. He ended up getting suspended for a substantial amount of time and thankfully stopped what he was doing. I am not longer his friend because I can’t take any chances of him finding out and hurting me.
TL:DR
My friend acted like the joker and threatened to k**l people so I told the school and got him suspended.
Call me a snitch all you want, but it would’ve gotten worse if I didn’t do anything.
Report
66points
#14
I posted on Facebook something along the lines of "Congratulations to my friends John and Mike for finally getting married!" and she posted a long homophobic/religious rant comment about how all lgbtq people are going to hell and so will anyone associated with them.
Thinking that there had to be some form of miscommunication going on, I emailed and asked her why she wrote that. Turns out in all our years of friendship, we had never discussed anything lgbtq related (which is really weird now that I look back on it) and that was how she really felt.
So, uh, bye. Never spoke to her again.
Thinking that there had to be some form of miscommunication going on, I emailed and asked her why she wrote that. Turns out in all our years of friendship, we had never discussed anything lgbtq related (which is really weird now that I look back on it) and that was how she really felt.
So, uh, bye. Never spoke to her again.
65points
#15
Had a dude I was friends with in the military. Pretty cool guy, looked out for everyone, tried to take care of everyone. He was all around a great guy.
Right up until you get him talking about women. As soon as he starts talking about females, he turns into the most downright misogynist pig ive ever met. As a guy I can understand some talking and elaborating when it comes to the other gender, but the things he would say makes people downright uncomfortable and are conversation stoppers. He had been told multiple times about it, warned and warned, and it still didnt stop. The worst part? He was married and continues to be. Dont worry, he cheats on her with as many females as he can find.
Hard no in my book.
Right up until you get him talking about women. As soon as he starts talking about females, he turns into the most downright misogynist pig ive ever met. As a guy I can understand some talking and elaborating when it comes to the other gender, but the things he would say makes people downright uncomfortable and are conversation stoppers. He had been told multiple times about it, warned and warned, and it still didnt stop. The worst part? He was married and continues to be. Dont worry, he cheats on her with as many females as he can find.
Hard no in my book.
65points
#16
My dad died a few years ago, and while everyone I know were sending us condolences, one of my best friends I’ve had since elementary school tried to send my mom d**k pics. He didn’t want me to find out but naturally my mom told me immediately. Haven’t talked to him since. No room for that kind of betrayal in my life. My dad had done a lot for him, too, including straight-up giving him money when he needed it. Just pure wtf. Sucks.
Report
65points
#17
In college, a former friend tried to have s*x with me (I'm also a guy) while I was black out drunk (He was not drunk). He did that despite knowing I am straight and had a girlfriend at the time. Lucky for me there were some actual friends that stopped him.
63points
#18
Friend had physically harmed another friend who was drunk because he thought nobody would notice.
Next day I confronted him, and after looking in my eyes and denying what I had seen for 30 minutes, it was like his mask came off. I have never understood the descriptions of the *coldness* of eyes until that moment. He just looked at me, smiled, and said "Honestly? I just don't care."
We are no longer friends. Everyone else eventually figures out that he was bats*it and takes a step back. He checks into a psych ward for 3 days, but *keeps the admittance bracelet on for the next three weeks*. Tells everyone he talks to, using my name, about this b***h who destroyed his life and caused him to attempt s*****e.
Don't be friends with psychopaths, kids. If they have alienated everyone they ever knew, the common denominator is them.
Next day I confronted him, and after looking in my eyes and denying what I had seen for 30 minutes, it was like his mask came off. I have never understood the descriptions of the *coldness* of eyes until that moment. He just looked at me, smiled, and said "Honestly? I just don't care."
We are no longer friends. Everyone else eventually figures out that he was bats*it and takes a step back. He checks into a psych ward for 3 days, but *keeps the admittance bracelet on for the next three weeks*. Tells everyone he talks to, using my name, about this b***h who destroyed his life and caused him to attempt s*****e.
Don't be friends with psychopaths, kids. If they have alienated everyone they ever knew, the common denominator is them.
55points
#19
I live in a small town. One of my employees is transgender and is self-conscious about small town folks staring at her and saying s**t. A friend of mine saw me at lunch with her and I introduced them. A few weeks later I saw my friend at another community function where he brought up my trans employee and said a bunch of disparaging things about her. I didn't make a big deal of it, but I have stopped asking my ex-friend to hang out and always turn down invitations to hang out. When I was a kid I was "different" and I want nothing to do with people who disparage people just for being different.
55points
#20
I was going through some s**t and needed to be talked down from s*****e one night. I told my friend I really needed help and someone to talk to she said "I'm really not up for that right now. You're on your own." I listened to this woman rant about her money troubles and helped her out. The one time I need some help, that took a lot in me to ask for, I get a selfish "sorry b***h. Not my job.". I haven't talked to her in 7 years and she can still go f**k herself. On the brighter side, I was too f*****g mad at her to k**l myself that night.
Edit: I didnt tell her I was s******l. I kept that part to myself, I just told her I needed someone to talk to because of my anxiety and depression were really f*****g with me and please don't leave me alone, I really needed to just be told everything was alright. She wanted to watch TV and not talk me and for me to "get over it" and it "wasn't her job to hold [my] hand."
Hope that clears it up.
Edit: I didnt tell her I was s******l. I kept that part to myself, I just told her I needed someone to talk to because of my anxiety and depression were really f*****g with me and please don't leave me alone, I really needed to just be told everything was alright. She wanted to watch TV and not talk me and for me to "get over it" and it "wasn't her job to hold [my] hand."
Hope that clears it up.
54points