It’s true that you never fully know anyone. Even if you see someone as your best friend in the world, there are still at least a few things they keep to themselves. And you can't be mad about that as there's most probably a good reason for hiding these things.
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However, sometimes a person decides to hide not just tiny things but a huge part of their life. For example, if a person moved to another country or city to start everything from scratch, be ready to learn a lot of new things about them once you meet their family members or their childhood friends.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes even growing up in the same household, memories from childhood and one's parents can differ
Image credits: Axville (not the actual image)
Brother wonders if he was being a jerk for uncovering sister’s lies at her engagement party and embarrassing her
Image credits: u/wyal_
Image credits: Steven Van (not the actual photo)
He and 2 other brothers came to their sister’s engagement party and were confused after hearing that people were surprised to learn that the woman has siblings
Image credits: u/wyal_
Image credits: Raj Rana (not the actual photo)
Turns out their sister told her friends that their parents were extreme workaholics
Image credits: u/wyal_
Later on, he started sharing stories of them growing up to that led to his sister’s tears as she was trying to separate herself from her ‘golden children’ brothers
A few days ago a Reddit user shared a story about how he embarrassed his sister by sharing childhood memories that uncovered her lies. He asked community members if it was a jerk move and the post went viral instantly as in just 2 days it had almost 12K upvotes and more than 3.2K comments.
So to begin with, three brothers, after their plans had changed, managed to come to their sister's engagement party. Well, they weren’t really invited, but also they weren’t forbidden to go, just that they didn’t really know anybody there. However, not long after, they heard a few people commenting on the family photos on the wall as they were surprised that the bride-to-be had siblings.
Additionally, turns out that the sister had told everybody that their parents were extreme workaholics. However, OP highlighted that their parents used to be with them at home as much as possible, drove them to sports practice and it was his sister who distanced herself from the whole family. While speaking with one person, OP noticed that more people kept gathering around, so he ended up sharing memories from childhood and surprising his sister’s friends as it was the opposite of what she told her friends.
After the event, his sister ended up crying as she was embarrassed in front of everybody, because all that work that she put into separating herself from her ‘golden children’ brothers had been destroyed. Community members voted that OP was not being a jerk in this situation, however there were different opinions in the comment section.
Folks online were confident that her part of the story would have been different. “you need to really consider that your sister may have had a completely different experience of childhood than you and your brothers,” one user wrote. Another added: “We don't have enough info to know, but this scenario fits best with the post. Spoilt youngest child vibes are strong in the post.”
Image credits: Inga Silvestrova (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda got in touch with Dr. Jane Greer, who is a marriage and family therapist, psychotherapist, author, radio host, and creator of “SHRINK WRAP".
“Very often, the sibling that distances themselves will seek support or an alliance from their other sibling. This can put both the sibling and also the parents in an uncomfortable position, and in opposition to the other person,” Jane starts. Speaking about how to navigate these complexes, the therapist says that it’s important to be friendly, extend yourself and stay away from arguments with siblings or parents.
In her book "Adult Sibling Rivalry”, she discusses how faulty communication skills are the major factor leading to siblings' ‘cold ward’. “Improving your communication skills is a question of being open. The goal is to try to understand how your sibling feels, without having to agree with it or defend yourself,” Jane emphasizes.
Now, speaking about cases where siblings have differing perspectives on their family's upbringing, Jane highlights that it’s important to remember that every person will have unique memories and perspectives of family life. “Parent-child dynamics can be largely shaped by gender, birth order and the family roles each takes on.”
So, instead of trying to convince siblings to share your version of events, be open to how they perceive what went on between each parent. The truth of each sibling is just as valid as the other one.
Finally, Jane shared advice for siblings who find themselves growing apart due to geographical distance or other life circumstances “Creating quality relationships with family members, especially those who are geographically far away or are too busy, should be prioritized,” she shares. Setting regular times for virtual meetings can help ensure the relationship remains strong. Additionally, planning a vacation together is also an important aspect.
“Staying connected is based on connecting, so life events or living far away from a sibling does not have to cause distance in your relationship.” Thus, as we can see, folks in the comments shared an important aspect - siblings, despite growing up together, can have different memories about their childhood and parents.
Also, Jane's latest book “AM I LYING TO MYSELF? How To Overcome Denial and See The Truth” is now available! Check it out!
People had various opinions; however, most of them said that most probably the sister had a different childhood than her brothers
