It's not a big secret that parenthood is a ridiculously hard thing.
It's impossible to foresee what the journey will be like as, frankly, no matter how prepared you think you might be – you'll never be truly ready to tackle the upbringing of a whole different person.
Everyone experiences life for the very first time, meaning that things are bound to go south at one point or another, especially if there're kids involved. It will feel lonely and isolating, tiring and overwhelming, you won't feel like yourself, and it'll be hard to recognize your instincts – yet, no matter how beat up you end up feeling, you know that, at the end of the day, you've done everything to make your offspring's life complete.
But, here's the thing, not every parent is ready to sacrifice their all – however, you'll always find someone who'll be happy to take the credit anyway.
More info: Reddit
You know what they say: "It is much easier to become a father than to be one"
Image credits: Tobias Dziuba (not the actual photo)
“AITA for embarrassing my dad on FB over his post about being a single dad?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members if it was a jerk move to publicly out his uninvolved dad on social media. The post managed to garner nearly 15K upvotes as well as 756 comments discussing the situation.
Teen ponders if it was a jerk move to publicly call out his uninvolved father on social media
Image credits: jackson_jr37
In the opening paragraph, the 16-year-old wrote that he had spent his whole life living with his grandparents. He hasn't seen his mother since he was a baby, plus, his father is also pretty uninterested, which is why he doesn't reside with him. The man would show up every now and then to take him to his house for the night – however, once he'd drop him back at his grandparent's place, he'd be gone again.
Needless to say, this kind of connection would elicit a lot of questions, and the youngster would frequently ask his father as to why he did not live with him; but, as he grew older, he came to understand that his dad preferred to have a solitary life.
Speaking of that single life, it was also said that his father had a "million" girlfriends, which is how he came to have 4 other kids whom he also doesn't pay much attention to because they are all living with their mothers.
Due to his mother leaving when he was a baby and his father's general lack of interest, the 16-year-old has always resided with his grandparents
Image credits: jackson_jr37
Bored Panda reached out to Mike Elliot, a licensed professional counselor in the state of Pennsylvania and the clinical director at a group private practice in Pittsburgh that specializes in neurodivergence (particularly ADHD and Autism), trauma and dissociation, and LGBTQIA+ issues.
"Yes, it most certainly can and generally does if it is prevalent throughout childhood. Trauma is anything that happens to us that we don't have the resources to manage. These resources can be internal, external, or both. Imagine you are bullied at school one day and don't know how to handle it. Then you come home but your parents are physically or emotionally absent. So instead of being able to work through the issue, it becomes an unhealed trauma," said Mike when we asked him whether parental neglect leads to trauma.
His dad had a "million" girlfriends, which is how he came to have four other kids, whom he also doesn't pay much attention to
Image credits: jackson_jr37
We also enquired as to why some uninvolved parents behave in this manner and whether there was a psychological reason for it: "It can happen for a lot of reasons. Perhaps their parents were absent and that has become the model for their parenting. Or perhaps they are suffering from an addiction or are severely depressed."
Later, when we asked Mike for suggestions for individuals who might be going through circumstances similar to the post's author, he said, "Seek help from a trauma therapist that can help you to heal the traumas of the past and teach you skills for managing your emotions in the future."
The conflict arose when the man made a social media post about the "sacrifices" of being a single dad
Image credits: jackson_jr37
Finally, BP asked the professional whether there's anything else he'd like to say, and he responded with: "No parent can be there for their kids all of the time. And it is good for kids to have to work through things on their own sometimes. But when parents are pervasively absent from their child's life, it can be very traumatizing. And children don't tend to think, oh, my parent is depressed and that's why they don't want to spend any time with me. Children tend to think that there is something wrong with them and if they were a better kid, then their parent would spend time with them."
The teen was not OK with the statement, knowing that he hasn't seen his old man for like a month, so he decided to out him
Image credits: jackson_jr37
Image credits: Tatiana Syrikova (not the actual photo)
Having an absent parent, to put it bluntly, sucks – however, what’s worse is having one that only shows up once in a blue moon. Unfortunately, not all parents desire to be actively involved in their kids' lives, and managing this element of family life may be quite challenging – especially if you're in a similar position as the author of the post, who has both, an absent mother and a disinterested dad.
You may spend days, weeks, months, or years agonizing over their decision to be this inactive in your life, feeling incomplete and believing that it's your fault, but at the end of the day, there's only one correct response, and it’s that it doesn't make you any less of a human.
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Fellow community members shared their thoughts on this situation
Image credits: Alabama Extension (not the actual photo)
