47 Older Folks Who Decided Not To Have Children Reveal How They Feel About It Years Later

52 and SO GLAD I never had kids. Many friends (women) my age with kids are envious of me being able to live without having to think about the offspring's needs first. I also don't live with my partner of 11 years and my life is nothing less than glorious between the two decisions.


Strained_Noodles4033:
They still need to put their kids needs first at 52? Shouldn’t they be getting their life back now their kids are older and moved out?

mugsymegasaurus:
That's not a given. My mom had her last kid at 42. Having kids in your 40s is becoming more and more common these days. Plenty of people in their 50s might have kids that are still in elementary-high school.

68-F - one of the smartest decisions I ever made.

My 74 year old uncle reports he’s super happy and has zero regrets.

Perfect. I never wanted kids.

So happy that I didn’t have any so I’ll never have all the guilt I know I would feel for being a poor parent.

I have friends with children who are a beautiful blessing, friends who have children who are a waste of air, and friends who have had children with illnesses that completely sidetracked their parents’ life. Even if you do a good job parenting, there are no guarantees. So even though I may pass away alone, I’m okay with never having children.

opheliasdinosaur:
And having kids is no guarantee you wouldn't be alone at the end. The best indicator for not being alone at the end is friends, specifically younger friends


Anon03282015:
I have an aunt/uncle who never had kids who moved to a retirement community and now have a very active social life and a large group of friends. My husband and I also don't have kids and we plan to do the same.

68M here. I won't say there is never a twinge of regret for not having children, but that is far outweighed by the happiness my wife and I feel for not having them.

It's ironic that this question is posted today, because Mother's Day and Father's Day are probably the two worst days for us. But it's not because we sit around missing the children we never had -- it's because our friends are mostly busy so it's generally a non-day for us.

Fine. I’m 70 and I’ve never even thought about it.

I'm in my 70s and never had kids. At one point I wanted to and found out I couldn't without surgical intervention. At that time my husband and I were considering divorce and the doctor refused to help me because of that. That's the way it was back then. I think if I had wanted children bad enough, I would have found a way. Still, when I see people holding their own little babies, I wonder what it is like. It looks so special.

50, it wasn't by intention. But darn! I've avoided so much drama. I have more time and space to meet my own needs. I wanted kids, did IVF, had miscarriages, etc. But I am thrilled with my life and my ability to make sure I have proper focus on myself and my interests. I'm very happy with the way things turned out.

So happy to see all these older women not wanting children and standing on their Boundaries.🥹.

Not exactly elderly (50's) and didn't exactly choose. (ex keep stalling on trying for children)

Not having had children is the single biggest regret of my life, and I regret the choices I made back then every single day.

TheRantingSailor:
I'm 36 and still debating on whether I want kids or not. I worry that I will regret not having kids but I remain highly ambivalent in the present. I love kids and the idea of a family, but I am vary of not being able to compromise on my needs (I am already a person with little energy to spare, I struggle to get by with my current job and everything else). Also really not fond of babies at all and all my dreams where I become a mom are stressful nightmares. So it's impossible for me to take a decision now :(

54F - no regrets! 🥳

I consider myself still south of elderly (but definitely middle-aged), and zero regrets.

55 and have never regretted it. I travel internationally as much as possible as my passion. I love my alone time and sleeping late and quiet. I would not have had the patience for it, and I’m glad I had the self awareness early on.

73 still feel good about it. Children would have ruined my otherwise happy life. YMMV.

I'm in my mid-60s, retired, married, and we've never been happier. We have no regrets about our decision to not have children.

I made the right choice. I would not want to raise kids in this mess.

Fine. 79 years old and I thank myself for the right decision for me. My husband has a son who has little to no contact with him. We travel and have no financial problems.

I’m 57F and I do regret not having children. I didn’t bc I had a less than good mother and I didn’t want to risk treating a child poorly. In retrospect, that wasn’t a good plan. I would have known how not to parent. I see now it was a mistake on my part. It’s such an individual choice but an important one.

crispycat40:
I’m 41 and had no blueprints on how to be a good mother. No village to fall back on.
I went to therapy in my 20s to ensure I didn’t become my dad but I hadn’t reckoned on not being my mum either.
I went non-contact with them both.
So I get your point.
I did have children, and I fret the entire time that I’m going extreme the other direction to counter balance my parents.