47 Older Folks Who Decided Not To Have Children Reveal How They Feel About It Years Later

I'm 64 years old and never wanted kids. Still don't. No regrets at all. Yes, I will be alone as I go into old age with nobody to look after me but if that's a reason to have kids then that is kind of messed up tbh. It just means I look after myself better anyway.

InvertebrateInterest:
I know 3 couples with children who need lifelong care. Their child will not be taking care of them in old age. I also know a lady whose adult kids all have severe mental illness. I know some people from high school who passed in their 20s. I also know some people who were completely estranged from their parents.
Having kids just so that they can take care of you later is selfish and short sighted.

55 and zero regrets. I dote on my nieces and have energy to give to causes I support, like being a CASA (court appointed special advocate) for foster children.

So, not exactly ‘elderly’ but I was always warned about my ‘biological clock’. Well, my clock must be broken because I never really felt the need to have kids.


Puzzleheaded-Tap9544:
Foster kid here, thanks for being our voice in a broken system

headface1701:
I'm 53 and must confess I did feel the "clock" for about 2 days in my late 40s. Got another cat, all good.

67f and no regrets. I got unexpected texts for Mother’s Day from my two “honorary kids”. Both are in their early 40s and we adopted each other because they each told me I was a better mom to them than the one they were born to. Made my day for sure!


NAparentheses:
Stealing someone else's kids because they're a bad parent is a flex. lol

In my 20s I knew the childhood I had survived left me ill equipped to be a father.

At 60 and knowing what I know now about generational trauma, I'm glad I didn't pass it on to anyone else.

I’m 66 and knew in my twenties that I did not want kids, and I am still very happy with that decision.

I'm an over 60 female, who said I did not want children at 16 and I have never regretted that decision. I am looking forward to a peaceful retirement.

My aunt is approaching 80. She never regretted it. She had a few tragedies occur during her childbearing years and she always says she was glad that she didn't have to put kids through that. She was also very proud of her career as a nurse. She was the first in her family to go to college and eventually went on to get her Master's. I think she was always sort of glad that there was nothing to divide her attention from that.

I'm 55. Husband is 59. We have no regrets about not having children. In fact, we very often say 'thank goodness we never had children'. We, instead, have adopted elderly dogs from animal rescues over the years knowing we will only have them for a short while but giving them the best end of their life possible.

I’m 45 and I have no regrets.

The most important thing to me is people who do not want to have kids should not have them for the sake of their theoretical kids, not themselves.

Unwanted kids have a really hard life, why inflict that on someone?

My BFF is 82 and is very glad she held firm against everyone telling her why she should have kids. She was just never interested. And she’s had a perfectly marvelous life, thanks.

72F -- just as fine with it as ever. I have (and have had) peace and harmony in my house, no drama unless I make my own.

Barnrat1719:
Right there with you. My house is an absolute safe haven, free of all drama and strife. I love being single and childfree!

So relieved. Always grateful that I did not have children.

I see many elderly patients who are fine with it. The only problem is when they have a stroke or dementia- if they dont have a mpoa. GET A MPOA. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SAINTED. BECAUSE YOUR GREAT NEICE OR 3rd COUSIN WILL REVOKE YOUR DNR. Anyways.. that's my public service announcement. Thanks.

“At 30: ‘You’ll regret not having kids.’
At 60: sleeping peacefully in a paid-off house while my friends are raising their grandchildren because their kids disappeared.”.

63 and zero regrets. I knew by the time I was in my early teens that I wanted other things from my life, and while my mother was heartbroken when I let it slip in conversation in my late 30s that I'd had a tubal ligation, it was unquestionably the right decision for me.

I place a premium on peace and quiet when I'm not working or otherwise engaged, and the fact that I'm typing this up at 2 am with my 16 year old cat on my lap, after deciding to watch night 2 of the May sumo Basho over Caesar salad and yogurt, is a simple pleasure that it would be difficult to navigate if I had other human entanglements.

I enjoy my young adult students, served as a Girl Scouting troop leader for years, and enjoy meeting children where they are, but never had any interest in having any of my own. After I'm gone, my books and other effects will find new homes, but I'm not concerned with a biological or other 'legacy.'

I was able to retire and live comfortably at 52 yo. Thank you, barren womb.

I pat myself on the back regularly. Best decision ever.

I'm so grateful to not be leaving anyone on this planet.

I know three (60s+) people who feel regret. Others who don't. I think it depends upon *why* they didn't have kids.

The ones who regret not having them wanted them but for other reasons (partner didn't want them, couldn't have kids, and work got in the way) they didn't have them. For those who have no regrets, it was a clear choice they made on their own, not because of anyone or anything else.

Lost-Concept-9973:
Pretty much what I have observed too. Childfree (a proactive choice not to have kids) vs childless (wanted them but for whatever reason it never happened) is an important distinction when it comes to probability of regret. 

Chance_Ad3416:
I know a woman who's around 45yo right now and has been trying (with fertility clinics to overcome fertility issues) for over 10 years at this point. Saw her at the end of 2024 she talked about finalizing the last legal steps of getting someone else's fertilized egg for her to carry and have the child herself. She was so excited and said it would be finalized in a month and she'd finally be a mother. Saw her again last year, she was not pregnant and didn't mention anything about that anymore. I can't imagine what she's going through and how she will feel about kids when she gets older. :( she's so good with my baby and such a lovely person.
Edit: I don't know whether they are trying to adopt or not and don't have the type of relationship to ask that type of questions. I don't know anything about adoption but some commenters mentioned adoption can be very difficult as well especially for older couples.

From the other side of the fence, I was soooo undecided for a long time but did eventually have children. It is NOT for the weak. It’s fulfilling and intense but not easy and there are no breaks, ever. I could see myself having been happy having no kids. I don’t think anyone who’s not fully on board should ever. I very much respect anyone who recognizes it’s not for them. I lucked out and my kids are sweet and smart and talented, but hoo boy are they a lot.