Human mortality has caused us anguish as far back as we have written history. After all, the Epic of Gilgamesh is largely about dealing with the passing of Gilgamesh’s best buddy. But that doesn’t mean that humans treat danger as seriously as they should.
Someone asked the internet to share the dumbest stories of how someone passed and netizens did just that. Be warned, dumb can be funny, but a few of these tales are also pretty morbid. Otherwise, get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own experiences below.
#41
Not me, but one person removed.
A friend went to highschool with the first person k****d by an alligator in the state of Texas in something like 80 years.
His last words were "F**k that Gator!"
A friend went to highschool with the first person k****d by an alligator in the state of Texas in something like 80 years.
His last words were "F**k that Gator!"
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4points
#43
Kid I kinda knew in high school was at the south end of a northbound platform on the subway. He poked his head around the corner to see if the train was coming. It was and pretty much took his head clean off.
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4points
#44
On a first date, walking on the roof of an apartment building and tried to jump across the next one, but tripped and fell 5 stories.
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4points
#45
Guy decided to climb up high tension power lines. Got pretty high up and decided it would be fun to pee off the tower. The power lines arced to his urine stream and he was electrocuted. Ouch.
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4points
#46
Drinking on a balcony with mates. Had more beers in the apartment next door. Balconies were not right next to eachother, but linked by a metal bar between the railings. He went next door to get more beers, and in order to save himself a few seconds then tried to balance across the metal bar carrying a case of beers. He didn't make it and fell 5 stories to his d***h.
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4points
#47
High school.
Slid down the stairs on a mattress.
Crashed into the glass panels on the side of the front door.
Severed artery under armpit.
Bled to d***h.
Slid down the stairs on a mattress.
Crashed into the glass panels on the side of the front door.
Severed artery under armpit.
Bled to d***h.
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4points
#48
A guy I went to HS with bragged that he refused to approve sick days for his employees to get the Covid vaccine (The “Biden P***k,” as he called it).
He d**d from Covid in 2022. My sympathies were…limited.
He d**d from Covid in 2022. My sympathies were…limited.
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3points
#49
One of my great uncles (mom's dad's brother) was a bad alcoholic, and was the type to get really angry when he was drunk. One night he got into an argument with his wife over.. the furniture? He went out to the shed to get his chainsaw and just started chopping s**t up. In the midst of his blind/drunken rage, the chainsaw bounced against something and went straight into his throat, nearly cut his head clean off
This happened long before I was born but my mom always told me about it as to why alcohol is dangerous and it's always stuck with me.
This happened long before I was born but my mom always told me about it as to why alcohol is dangerous and it's always stuck with me.
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3points
#50
Ran across the train tracks in front of his girlfriend to get a lighter.
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3points
#51
Country club golf pro degenerate gambler and raging alcoholic drowned in the water hazard after driving into it.
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3points
#52
Got drunk, had a handgun, and got into one of those "oh you don't think I will???" arguments with his cousin.
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3points
#53
Dude went to the hospital for something, don't exactly remember what it was (maybe heart related, maybe early stages OD), docs treated him for like a week in hospital, told him he needed to stop drinking and doing d***s immediately and completely or he would d*e.
Dude is released from hospital, goes to a party that night, does d***s and drinks, d**s that night.
Dude is released from hospital, goes to a party that night, does d***s and drinks, d**s that night.
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3points
#54
Friends kid just recently dove from a bridge during a 1000 year flood. They didn’t find his body for days. High schooler with his whole life in front of him.
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3points
#55
Had an uncle d*e from stubbing his pinkie toe really bad. He refused to go to a Dr, it turned infected then septic.
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3points
#56
Coworker. Married her boyfriend of 20 years in October of 2020. Big traditional redneck wedding with a buffet. I was one of the few who masked and didn’t eat.
She predictably caught Covid, hospitalized in November, d**d by Thanksgiving. I had a lot of guilt and shame for going in the first place.
She predictably caught Covid, hospitalized in November, d**d by Thanksgiving. I had a lot of guilt and shame for going in the first place.
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3points
#57
Had a friend a couple decades back who got wasted on a few different substances and then decided to take a nice, speedy drive down the freeway. In a Miata. She flipped it and became a meat crayon.
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3points
#60
Carbon p*******g. Classmate working on truck with his dad, shut the garage door due to rain and both suffocated inside.
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3points

